Posted on Monday, March 7, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 10

The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential—a fear called Atelophobia by experts, but known as a fear of imperfection to you and me.

Sometimes, we all struggle with the idea that we aren’t good enough. It’s a common enough assessment when we look at all the achievements of one person and stack them up against our own. I mean, if I were to try and stack the achievements of a great statesman up against my own—I may come out short. But does that make me less valuable as a human being? That’s the question millions of people around the world are asking themselves. Am I just too imperfect to be of use to society?

Recognizing Your Phobia

If you are finding yourself overcome with fear each time you consider doing something, then you may very well be suffering from a fear of imperfection. You may worry a lot about the idea of taking on a role or opportunity and finding out that you just aren’t cut out to do it. Do you turn down chances and opportunities? Do you want to stay away from the world and never have to deal with anything? Are you scared that your boss may discover that you may not be as good at your job as he thought you were?

Overcoming Your Phobia

Who IS Perfect?

Take a look around the world. What a hopeless mess it seems. Seriously. If you want to look at imperfection, you should start by looking at the world in which we live. We live with imperfection every single day, and that’s okay! It’s important to realize that nobody is perfect. Like every other human being, you can get things wrong, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

Being Wrong Isn’t Bad!

You know sometimes we all get things wrong. I do. I can guarantee at some point in life, every single human being has been wrong. But that isn’t bad. It’s all part of this giant learning curve we call life. It’s adventurous, it’s fun, and it’s all an experience. Don’t set out to be wrong—but if you are wrong… who cares? Learn from the experience and try again. As a famous man once said, “If at first you don’t succeed… try, try again!”

Fools Rush In…

It takes a smart person to realize that all situations can be handled—but must be handled in different ways. If you are starting a new job, try taking your first few days steadily. Get to grips with the tasks at hand. It’s like dating. You take it slowly and build to a crescendo. Just take things one step at a time, and you’ll find that you will make few mistakes.

Relax

Just relax! Even if your boss does realize you aren’t cut out for the job… the worst thing he or she can do is fire you. Relax, enjoy yourself and do what you want to do. Let nobody stand in your way.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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Posted on Friday, March 4, 2016

Publishing Your Book: Platforms: Part Three

once upon After writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

There are several platforms that allow you to publish an ebook online. Knowing their strengths and weaknesses will help you decide which platform will help you achieve your writing goals. In this article, we will be taking a look at four of the major platforms.

Amazon

Hundreds of thousands of books are published and sold on Amazon each year. It is said that Amazon is the biggest player in the book business. As a writer, you may find it hard to achieve any success without the platform Amazon offers. Amazon is a company that rewards loyalty. By joining the Amazon KDP program, you will gain a 70% royalty share—but you will have to have your e-book exclusively on Amazon. There are many pros and cons to using Amazon… but, as many authors are discovering, success in the book world can be made much tougher if you don’t use them.

Barnes & Noble

A traditional bookseller with a large online platform that you may be tempted to use. Barnes & Noble are one of the easiest platforms to become part of. Their formatting process is one of the easiest to navigate. Just remember that because you have your book published online with Barnes & Noble, it doesn’t mean you will automatically be available inside stores.

iBooks

For some time, people thought that iBooks was going to overtake Amazon. That has been proven as folly. Many authors consider the iBooks platform to be a mess—without any real co-ordination or easy access. This platform is easy to get onto, but the chances are that you won’t have instant success here.

Smashwords

One of the more interesting platforms. Smashwords has been around for a long time now and has a proven track record. If you have a free book, Smashwords may be the one for you to go for. It’s easy to release and market a free book with them. If you are looking for paid sales—it may be tougher for you to get any traction on Smashwords. The formatting is easily navigated, though, so don’t worry about the technical side of things.

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Posted on Wednesday, March 2, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday, and Dreams Are What Life Is Made Of…

once upon “Dreams Are What Lives Are Made Of…”

Ask any successful person how they entered the business of being successful. The answer that you will hear overwhelmingly is that they dreamed of doing something. Something big. Something important. Something that nobody else had ever done. They dreamed of becoming, finding, having, being, saying. The dreams you’ve had are a direction. A desire that comes from deep down inside your body and soul. Dreaming is half the journey to success.

But, you may say, BUT… How do I know what I want, and how do I get what I want? That’s the hard part! You have a dream journey—but you have to make it from place A to place B. It may be a difficult journey with lots of frustrating stops, starts and detours. It may be something you feel that you can’t do. It may be that you are at a place in your life that doesn’t allow you to pursue your dreams—but that doesn’t mean you won’t stop dreaming. It doesn’t mean that tonight you won’t discover the way to make your dreams come true. There is nothing stopping you from doing anything in your mind—your dreams cannot be taken away from you—so instead of decreeing that in reality your dreams are nothing more than made up, you should embrace them, watch for an opportunity and strike when you feel the time is right.

Knowing Your Dreams

Sometimes people wake up after a vivid dream, and for a short time after they wake up, they can remember the whole thing. As your day progresses, you lose more and more of that dream, and within a few hours it may be gone. How about keeping a pen and a piece of paper by your bed? When you wake up in the morning, jot down your dream. This way you can see patterns, direction, and make sense of what your inner self is telling you—at your own pace—without fear of forgetting it.

No Dreams?

Rubbish. Everyone has dreams. It may just be that you don’t feel your dreams are achievable, therefore, you may be more likely to quash your dreams before they can even take shape. Think about it—at some point in your life you have wanted something. You’ve wanted to go somewhere, see something, be someone. Think back and try to reconnect with your dreams.

Honestly…

Okay, I am not saying that tomorrow you can wake up and make your dream come true. You are welcome to try that, but for the majority of people it will be a journey or a quest. It will be something that takes time to take shape. You need to be honest with yourself. Is this the right direction? Am I in the right place to make my dreams come true?

Maybe It’s Time…

From time to time, people get a buzzing feeling that it’s time. When you get that feeling—act on it. If it feels right, if the time is right—do it. Just DO IT!

Allow Yourself Space

When you are lying in bed at night, think about the wide blackness of space. Look at the planets, look at the distance between Earth and the other planets in our solar system. Now imagine that your journey is between Earth and Jupiter. How would you make that journey? What would you need? How long would it take? Problem solving skills are going to be very important to you as you follow the path leading to your dreams—ask yourself questions and come up with the answers. The more you come up with answers, the more you will think outside the box.

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Posted on Friday, February 26, 2016

Publishing A Book: Editing: Part Two

One of the most controversial things about the self-publishing business is that authors now opt to not have their work edited. This article will all be about the pros and cons of having your work edited.

Why You Should Have Your Work Edited

Editing is the last chance for you, as an author, to have your work checked over by a professional set of eyes before you leave yourself open to negative reviews. For anyone who is seriously looking to skip the editing step, you need to consider whether or not your writing can stand the scrutiny of readers around the world. Are you sure you have every error corrected? No? Well, now might be the time to consider looking up a good proofreader to have those problems ironed out.

Who Is a Good Editor?

Unless you’re an English teacher, or someone greatly skilled in the English language, you won’t know what makes a well-edited and proofread book. That’s why you need to speak to several editors and find out who has the skills you need. Don’t just contact one editor—contact a bunch of them and see what they come back with.

The Responsibility Lies with You

Sorry, but even with an editor, the responsibility lies with you to correct mistakes. You should take your editor’s advice seriously—try to cover all the areas of the book they’re concerned about. Don’t cut corners or miss out steps. Just go through their work and take great pains to make sure you are correcting all the errors they have pointed out.

Editing Takes Time

I know we all want things done instantly, but quality editing takes time. Try to ignore those instincts inside your body that will want you to rush the editor. Let them get it done in their own time, and let them do it properly. Do not badger, bug or try to push the editor to get the work done quickly. All you will get is missed errors and embarrassment later on that will be nobody’s fault—but your own.

A Good Editor Is Probably Right… Even Though You Attended English Class

It’s common for people to know best. It really is. But when it comes to hiring an expert to work on your book, you should consider their opinion to be the right opinion. Don’t argue or try to assert your expertise of the English language. If you start to suspect that the editor isn’t catching all of the errors—gently let them know. If they turn out not to be competent, find another editor.

Connections & Friends

Yes—that’s right. Friends. A good editor is hard to find. It’s in your interest to build a relationship with a good editor and to make that relationship work. If you are planning to write more books, you will need an editor. The way you treat your editor may be the deciding factor in the quality of your future publications.

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Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday, and “No” Is Sometimes the Most Important Word…

fear11 “No can be the most important ‘yes’ you’ve ever said.”

One of the most common problems faced by people around the world is an inability to say no. People don’t feel that they can say no; they feel pressured to always make other people happy. No is just a word many people can’t say… and I’m telling you that No might be the most important word you may ever learn to say confidently. Have you ever thought about the millions of problems that could be avoided by someone just saying “no” and saying nothing further? No… No… No… No…

Warrior Wednesday is all about empowering you, and giving you the tools that you need to make your life better. No is just another one of those tools that will serve you well. Deep down, nobody wants to say no, but sometimes we have to, and our lives are better for having said it.
“No” Never Means “Yes”

You know some salesmen say that a “No” is just a “Yes”? Well, they’re wrong. When you feel deep down that your answer is “No,” it’s “NO!” That’s the important thing to remember. When you are saying “No” you mean “No.”
Cut Out the Conversation

One of the best ways for people to get around “No” is by continuing a conversation and going around the side of your “No.” When you say “No” to someone—I’d suggest cutting the rest of the conversation short. It’s no, and don’t give anyone the chance to turn your “No” into a yes.

It Feels Bad…

Saying “no” can feel bad. It really can. But when you truly want to say “No,” you should just say “No.” Nobody can force you to do anything. You call the shots in your life, and you control what you do. Try not to feel bad for saying “No.” Just do it and move on.

But!

The most common response to “No” is “But…” and those buts can go on for a long time. Try to just keep your direction and move forward with it. Don’t listen to the reasoning and arguments of others. Don’t be persuaded or sold on doing something you don’t want to do. Every time you hear “but” think “No!”

One No at a Time

You won’t wake up tomorrow with the ability to say “No,” but you should start saying it in your head. You should try to envision what it would look like to tell someone “No.” If you can comfortably visualize saying “no,” you can actually say it whenever you want. Practice saying “no” in front of the mirror—and every single time you need to say it, say it. It could save your life.

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Posted on Monday, February 22, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 8

fear11 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This is a fear of losing your freedom.

Sometimes, success means that we have less time to do the things we want. Many of us just take this as a given—Rome wasn’t built on vacations, after all. But for some people, the fear of actually losing their free time is so crippling they would rather not have any part in a more successful and productive life.

This is sometimes called a fear of commitment, and it really is. It’s a gripping fear that will stop you getting involved in some of the most life-changing aspects of your life. These aspects can range from marriage, all the way up to taking an executive position in a company.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step is overcoming your fear of commitment is working out what you’re actually afraid of. Because—and you might not realize this—you’re not actually afraid of commitment.

Overcoming Your Phobia

More Freedom Feeds Freedom

If you wake up when you want to, to go to a job that is an expression of what you really believe in, hang out with inspiring people who value your opinion and demand that you do what you’re really passionate about, then you’re not going to really care about those few hours at night, and commitment won’t seem like such a scary proposition.

You’re going to feel free already, regardless of what happens between 6pm and 10pm.

Fulfil Desires

If you are using your time to fulfil your desires, you are going to feel accomplished. If you feel accomplished, you are not going to feel so stressed about commitment or losing freedom. If you spend your days doing the things you want, you can use the nights to do things that wouldn’t necessarily be your first choice of activity.

Careful Relationships

If you are careful about the relationships you allow to grow, you will find that your commitment to them isn’t stifling at all. The stifling relationships are the ones we don’t want, and when we are feeling trapped, those are the ones we will fight hardest against. Be careful who you create a relationship with, and you should find commitment easier to handle.

Friends

As with many problems, a problem shared is a problem halved. Do you have someone in your life that you trust? If you do, then now might be the time to turn to them for some help. If you don’t—you may need to correct that problem first. If you are without anyone with whom to share your problems, you need to start creating careful relationships.

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Posted on Monday, February 15, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 7

fear1 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of those fears is so great it leads people to spend their whole life inside their homes. That fear is called Agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia is a very common condition that makes a person avoid a number of otherwise ordinary activities and places, including many that the person used to enjoy before their trouble started. This avoidance usually develops in response to panic attacks. Because a panic attack can be such an upsetting and scary experience, people are naturally motivated to do whatever they can to avoid additional attacks. Unfortunately, it’s precisely a person’s efforts to protect himself from panic which create the greater problem of Agoraphobia.

A typical example would be a person who avoids several ordinary activities and situations, such as highway driving, large supermarkets, and crowded cinemas and churches. Even a mild case can be a big burden, because people with Agoraphobia experience lots of shame, frustration, and anticipatory worry, in addition to the loss of the ability to participate in activities they used to enjoy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Agoraphobia comes about when a person with Panic Disorder gets tricked into believing that he (or she) has a “safe zone” within which he is “protected” from the ravages of a panic attack, and beyond which he is subject to great danger. It leads him to believe that if he limits his activities, and engages in other protective behaviors, he might be able to prevent more attacks.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Avoidance Is Never the Answer

The effort to limit your activities and travel in the hopes of avoiding panic attacks rarely, if ever, results in anything positive. You might avoid panic attacks a lot of the time, but the anxiety never goes away, because you’re always worried about the “next time.” The more you avoid, the more anxious you become, and next thing you know, your life has become quite limited and filled with worry and shame. That’s the heart of the problem.

Safety Isn’t Safer

Safety behaviors foster the illusion that you are protected from danger, but they actually keep your fear alive over time. They seem to be a help, but they’re actually part of the problem, in disguise. Try not to do the safe thing. Try to break the habit and do what you want to do.

Other People

From your window, watch other people as they leave their homes and enjoy a happy, fruitful life. Wouldn’t you like to be part of that? Wouldn’t you like to sit in a café, go shopping or enjoy your day by spending it in the park? How about that sunshine? The flowers? How about those opportunities? You can expand your world—and you will want to expand your world once you discover what it has to offer. It’s a wonderful world out there—if only you’ll give it a chance.

Small Steps

Today is such a lovely day. Why don’t we spend it in the garden? Look at the back of your house. Doesn’t the garden look interesting? You can go out and spend the afternoon outside, with a coffee and a good book. You don’t need to interact with anyone. But you can take a smaller step into a much, much bigger world.

Friends

Do you have a good friend you can trust? Why don’t you invite your friend over to go to the park? If you can find someone who will take their time and go with you—why shouldn’t you just do it? Parks across the world are safe—there’s nothing to harm you. The police always patrol the park and other park dwellers will be sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t you like to take a stroll in the grass and enjoy such a sunny day?

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Posted on Monday, February 8, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 6

fear11 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of these fears is so debilitating that it stops people from succeeding every single day. That fear is a fear of public speaking.

Fear of public speaking is, perhaps, the most common of all the known phobias. It’s a form of performance anxiety in which a person becomes very concerned that he or she will look visibly anxious, maybe even have a panic attack while speaking. Over time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding public speaking or by struggling against speech anxiety. In this way, people get tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronic and disruptive.

Some people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes they actually want to take. At work, they pass up assignments, and even promotions, which would require speaking. Their fear of public speaking may even lead them to choose a career that doesn’t call for public speaking, rather than one they really want. This is often the case with people who have feared public speaking from a very young age.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Before you can even get to grips with this problem, you need to know you have a problem. Ask yourself a question. If you had to give a presentation right now—could you do it? Could you stand up and give a speech in front of a group of people? If you are cringing right now—you may well be suffering from a phobia. So now you have to delve deeper. Could you give a presentation without preparation? Could you just jump up and go for it? Could you do it if you had enough time to prepare? What conditions would you need to be able to give an effective presentation? If you are still cringing, then it’s highly likely you are suffering from a phobia of public speaking.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Get Organized

When you organize all of your thoughts and materials, it helps you to become much more relaxed and calm. When you have clear, organized thoughts, it can greatly reduce your speaking anxiety because you can better focus on the one thing at hand—giving a great speech.

Eliminate that Fear of Rejection

“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.

Watch Yourself in the Mirror

Practice your speech in front of the mirror as if you were speaking directly to someone. Try to imagine yourself in front of a crowd and pay special attention to:

Your facial expressions

Your gestures

Your body movements

How welcoming you appear

How your mouth words things

Record Yourself and Learn to Love Your Voice

Record your speech on your phone or video camera. Record yourself giving the talk from beginning to end. Then listen to it or watch it, and make notes on how you could make it better. Some people do not like listening to the sound of their voice on tape, so it is important that you get used to your own voice and speaking style.

Give Your Speech to Another Person

There are plenty of people you can practice on. Be sure to tell the person to be completely honest with you in their critique, but also be careful not to choose someone who is overly critical who will, more than likely, destroy your self-confidence. You want to choose someone you can trust.

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Posted on Monday, January 25, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Conquering Fears: Part 4

There’s always something out there trying to scare us. If you listen without really thinking about what you’re being told, it’s quite easy to become scared. For some, this means hiding away from the world. For others, daily life becomes a struggle.

Panic!

The negative results of panic can be seen every single day. People get upset, overreact and make more out of a problem (or a perceived problem) than there really is. Frightening yourself beyond the real need to deal with a problem puts your body into a fight-or-flight situation.

Emotional Panic

This can create a shutdown of feelings; it can leave you in a constant state of shock. You don’t think clearly; you don’t make good decisions. You can’t remember things very well. You cannot accurately assess a situation.

Overcoming Panic… You CAN do it!

The Signs of Panic

You feel panic coming on… A racing heartbeat, a flushing feeling in your face, mental confusion, shouting, saying unreasonable things, or just saying whatever comes out of your mouth without thinking about what you are saying. You are more than likely in a state of panic.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing has been proven to calm your body by burning off the adrenaline that’s been released in panic. Slow down, clear your mind and count to ten. Focus on thinking clearly, factually, and do not react emotionally.

Responsibility

Are in you in immediate danger? If you’re not, then whatever has set you into a panic is probably not as urgent as you think. What scares you? Discover what it is and jot it down. Once you know what sets off your panic—you can start to combat it and think clearly.

Check the Facts

Yes, you may be worried about what you saw on the news. Killer bees, bombs, natural disasters, whatever. But is it really a problem? Is it really an epidemic? If you are in a panic over the news, you should consider the source. Just because the National Enquirer says that Bill Clinton has five days to live, it may not be true at all. In real terms, you should look at the facts, too. Is your boss going to fire you? Probably not—but if he does, he may have lost a very talented human being.

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Posted on Monday, January 11, 2016

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, Chimes In!

I woke up to the sad news of David Bowie…Dies at 69! Understanding how his family may be feeling as I had just lost a brother barely 6 days ago, my first inclination was to find out what legacy he left behind. While many may be stuck on how he died, I have a different view about it. I shared this on my periscope broadcast today (CLICK HERE).

Many who follow me on periscope (@PrincessinSub) and BLABTV (www.blab.im/PrincessinSub) know how passionate I am on the importance of writing our Legacy Statement and allowing that legacy statement to point us to our true calling or passion or life purpose, as you may call it. David Bowie exemplified that.

photo by_Adam-Bielawski

Here is why:
(1). Every media outlet I turned to this morning said one great thing about his legacy: that he was “a master re-inventor and a compassionate business man.” This is a legacy his family should be incredibly proud of. It was amazing that not many talked about how much he made but more on the lives he impacted while he was with us. This is a legacy worth celebrating for generations to come.
(2). Another media outlet talked about the fact that he was someone who tried things and when it didn’t work, he knew when to let go, then re-invent his life purpose. Because he was great at it, his music cut across generations. While many artists in his generation may have faded away, he remained known. He was also a family man, who kept his family as private as he could.
(3). Once he re-engineered his life purpose, he worked at it. As a matter of fact, David Bowe’s last music was released last week, few days before he turned 69.

Here is a question for you today, if you took your last breath today, what would your legacy be?

Live Life Full, Leave It Empty