Category Archives: Success

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I Teach…

once uponSeeing several clients each day can sometimes spin your head and make you lose focus. This week, I’d like to talk about a checklist I keep with me each time I talk to coaching clients. This list helps me to keep focused and allows me to understand what I need to do to help my clients. I think this list could be useful for you, too. Print it off—and use it daily. It will really help you get down to the nitty-gritty of what is important.

Build a Relationship of Mutual Trust

The foundation of any coaching relationship is rooted in your day-to-day relationship with your client. Without some degree of trust, conducting an effective coaching meeting is impossible. Try to make sure the relationship is one of working together, rather than working apart.

Open the Meeting and Take Control

In opening a coaching meeting, it’s important for you to clarify, in a nonevaluative, non-accusatory way, the specific reason the meeting was arranged. The key to this step is to restate — in a friendly, non-judgmental manner — the meeting purpose that was first set when the appointment was scheduled.

Find Common Ground and Agreement

Probably the most critical step in the coaching meeting process is getting your client to agree verbally that a performance issue exists. Overlooking or avoiding the performance issue because you assume the person understands its significance is a typical mistake of coaches. To persuade a client that a performance issue exists, a coach must be able to define the nature of the issue and get the client to recognize the consequences of not changing his or her behavior. To do this, you must specify the behavior and clarify the consequences.

Explore All the Alternatives

Try to explore ways the issue can be improved or corrected by encouraging the client to identify alternative solutions. Avoid jumping in with your own alternatives, unless the client is unable to think of any. Push for specific alternatives and not generalizations. Your goal in this step is not to choose an alternative, which is the next step, but to maximize the number of choices for the client to consider and to discuss their advantages and disadvantages.

Look for Commitment and Action

The next step is to help the client choose an alternative. Don’t make the choice for the client. To accomplish this step, the coach must be sure to get a verbal commitment from the client regarding what action will be taken and when it will be taken. Be sure to support the client’s choice and always offer praise.

Make Sure You Handle Those Ever-Present Excuses

Client excuses may occur at any point during the coaching meeting. To handle excuses, rephrase the point by taking a comment or statement that was perceived by the client to be blaming or accusatory and recast it as an encouragement for the client to examine his or her behavior. Respond empathically to show support for the clients’ situation and communicate an understanding of both the content and feeling of the client’s comment.

Provide Crucial Feedback

Effective coaches understand the value and importance of giving continual performance feedback to their people, both positive and corrective.

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I Teach…

sleepThis week, we are going to look at coaching and beginning a career in coaching. You’re now in a position to be a coach, and you’re ready to begin… but where do you start? How do you get those crucial first clients? How do you know how much to charge? What do you do? What have others done? This article is all about the first crucial steps towards success as a coach. Let’s take a look…

A Clear Path to Success

One of the most useful pieces of advice is to have a plan and see how you will fulfil your goals. In the meantime, have smaller, doable goals, so you know you’re on track. Each time you achieve one of the smaller goals, you will find yourself closer to success with the bigger goals. You should always be looking at the bigger picture—where are you and where do you want to be?

Keep It Simple

Nobody in the world can do it all. That being said, you should plan on putting in lots of hours and energy into your business, at least for the first year or two until you have a good clientele base with a waiting list, and you have a reliable marketing engine. Later, however, you will want to learn the power of saying “no.” Nobody needs to work 100 hours a week.

Family Support

Your loved ones can also assist you in your endeavors and make it easier. Rather than feel bad that you’re not doing as much for everyone else, use your coaching skills to fully communicate what you’re really up to. When you share your inspiration and how much this means to you, the people who care most about you will whole-heartedly join your team, and they may even help you find clients.

Look After the Money

When you know you have enough money coming in already, you can afford to trust the process of attracting clients. Starting a business is not like starting a new job. You won’t get a reliable paycheck every two weeks. But your time investment up front will pay off handsomely if you go the distance. Reduce debts by negotiating for lower interest rates. Stop paying for things you aren’t using. Be careful with your money, and you’ll go far.

Promote, Promote, Shout

In your first year of coaching, even if your coaching skills aren’t fully honed yet, share your excitement and inspiration about coaching with pretty much everybody. Don’t be attached to getting them to understand coaching the way you do. They probably won’t. But do share your energy.

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I Teach…

coachIn this latest post about life coaching, I would like to cover some of the ways a life coach can help you. We often hear people talking about life coaches, and we have a vague idea about their job—but what can they actually help you with?

Becoming Motivated

Sometimes, when we least expect it, life throws a punch at us that hits us square in the jaw. We lose our jobs, our houses, our pets, we lose a loved one, we fall into old, bad habits, we sink into depression, and so on. And if left alone, it could take years – if ever – to get back to our old, awesome selves again. That’s where your life coach can help. They’re your #1 fan and will jump in to motivate you out of your depression and bring you back to the world of the living.

Everyone Needs a Purpose

Life coaches know that finding one’s purpose isn’t something that requires meditating for endless years. Rather, they know that an individual’s true purpose comes from a special combination of their hidden talents and passions. A life coach can help you uncover those talents and passions that will then reveal to you your true purpose in life. That true purpose will bring you happiness by the bushel.

Planning Your Life

Sometimes, we see or hear about other people’s success stories, and we can’t help but become jealous. Other times, we see our friends on social media posting pictures of their exotic vacation, and we get depressed. And yet at other times, we yearn to simply be ourselves. What a mess.

Your life coach will help you to cut through all that noise and concentrate on what you really want in life. They’ll help you identify those unnecessary wants and desires in your life, and you’ll be able to concentrate on the goals and dreams that will make you happy!

C-O-N-F-I-D-E-N-C-E

Whatever it is you do, or want to do, with your life, you’ll do it better and with more enjoyment when you’re feeling confident. The opposite is also true – even the simplest tasks can be outright terrifying when you don’t have the confidence in your skills that you need. Life coaches understand this better than anyone else. Your life coach will be able to help you solve any self-esteem issues that you may have. They will help guide you, and just as importantly, they will be helping you acknowledge and celebrate the successes you have as you travel along your journey. These little successes will give you the confidence to conquer even the greatest obstacles in your path.

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Publishing Your Book: Websites That Help Promote Books: Part Ten

once uponAfter writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

This week, I would like to look at some of the places you can list your book for free to get noticed. These five sites have been proven to be some of the most effective free promotion in the book world. But even with these sites there are some ups and downs. The downside is that you will still be fighting for places on these sites with thousands of other authors. The upside is that once you get listed on these sites they may well help you create sales.

All of these sites give your book potential—the potential to get a huge dose of publicity and a run of strong paid sales. These paid sales will drive your rankings and will turn into more sales. People always say that the free stuff isn’t worth it—but sometimes it is.

Addicted to eBooks

This website is perfect for readers who love cheaper books. The website also allows authors to rate some of the content of their book. If you want to know the level of sexual, violent or rude content before you buy a book, this site will appeal to you. I’m excited that authors can now rate their books for the readers.

Author Marketing Club

One of the best resources for writers. You don’t have to chase around the internet trying to find sites to submit to. You can just go to the Author Marketing Club and see which sites are available to use.

Books on the Knob

Bargain reads, free ebooks and book reviews for the Amazon Kindle, nook, Kobo, Sony and other ereaders, Kindle Fire, nookColor, Kobo Vox, and other tablets, along with some games and other stuff. A useful site for authors to know about.

Digital Book Today

Includes both free and paid options for writers looking to promote. A great place to promote your book, and a place that you may have to work to get into—but once you are, you’ll reap the rewards.

eBooks Habit

Each day, this site brings you 20-30 great ebooks that are free at the time of posting, as well as some bargain ebooks with reduced prices. If you have a promotion going on—a free giveaway, etc.—then this may be the site for you.

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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 15

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to take a look at Hypnophobia, a crippling fear that can stop you reaching your full potential, and can even stop you from living a normal, everyday life.

Hypnophobia, clinophobia or somniphobia, as the condition is often called, is the irrational and excessive fear of sleep. It may result from a feeling of loss of control, or from repeating nightmares or anxiety over the loss of time that could be spent accomplishing tasks or maximizing leisure time instead of sleeping.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Hypnophobia, known as fear of sleep and fear of being hypnotized, can significantly impact the quality of life. It can cause panic attacks and is often defined as an abnormal, persistent and unwarranted fear of sleep or being hypnotized. Rapid breathing, shortness of breath, sweating, feelings of dread and nausea are all symptoms of hypnophobia. Every year, hypnophobia causes distress to countless people. Most hypnophobia therapies take months or years, and sometimes require the patient to be exposed repeatedly to their fear. Therefore, it makes the condition even worse.

Focus

Focusing on your mind can tell you a lot about your fears. The way you describe things that happen to yourself inside your own head can be very telling. What really scares you about sleep? Try to focus and discover what the problem is. Are you afraid of nightmares? Do you think you won’t wake up? Do you feel it’s wasted time? Once you know the problem, you can start to fix it.

Relax and Breathe

Try heading to bed with a book. Lie on your bed until you begin to get drowsy and linger in a state of drowsiness. You are not asleep, yet not awake. But is there anything scaring you? Try to take notice of the world around you while you are in that state. If you start to feel uncomfortable—open your eyes. You can leave at any time.

The Positive

Singing your favorite song, watching your favorite movie, spending time with your friends, family and loved ones can all put you in a positive frame of mind. Perhaps organize a sleepover with friends who will be at your side throughout the process of sleep. If you can’t do it alone, do it with others—that is, after all, what friends are for.

A Positive Spin

Waking up all refreshed, relaxed and happy can be the end result of sleep—you know that. Why don’t you try giving sleep a positive spin? Tell yourself all the reasons why you should enjoy sleep, and try to keep them in mind—sleep is an enjoyable thing. Just try telling yourself that it is.

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Publishing Your Book: Covers: Part Eight

fear1After writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

This week we are going to look at some pointers about cover design. Covers are a selling tool like no other. They are usually the first thing people see, and they are usually the thing that makes someone buy or not buy. Covers capture interest—so it’s important for you to have the right one.

The wrong cover can be devastating to your sales. A poor cover can turn off readers and can even cause your book to be returned by customers. Bad covers can also lead to poor reviews. But what do I mean by a bad cover? Let’s look at the four biggest problems we see on covers. You can see covers that have these problems all over Amazon.

• Spelling errors on the cover
• Poor punctuation
• Pixelated images
• Poor name and title placement

But these are not the only things you have to think about when putting your cover together. You also have to become an ad-man and create a cover that looks good as a thumbnail. I bet you didn’t think about that! Yes, your cover has to stand out as a thumbnail on Amazon. So keep that in mind and test your covers. Shrink your cover in size and spend some time looking at it. Can you still make out the image on the front? Does it still look as attractive? Would you buy that book?

Give it a try—and see for yourself!

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How Much Can You Do During a Warrior Wednesday?

fear1“Do more, see more, feel more, achieve more… make Wednesday YOUR day for achievement!”

Have you ever wondered about the people who seem to zoom through their day and achieve everything they started out wanting to achieve? Have you ever wondered how they do it? I’m sure each of us knows someone who can get much more done in a day than we believe possible. The super filer, the busy typist, the amazing salesman. What gives those people such drive?

It really comes down to the need to meet goals. Some people have an inbuilt need to achieve everything straight away. But there are ways for you to also help yourself make more from your days. This week, we will be talking about increasing productivity during our days, so our evenings can be less stressful.

Make Notes

The most successful people in the world always carry a notepad in their pockets to make notes. Many of us use our computers or phones and make notes on the diaries we have there. But this doesn’t seem to cut it for many people—it’s better to write it down and refer to something that is real—a piece of paper.

Time Management

Those who are super achievers know that time is a finite thing. On a daily basis, we only have so much time to do things. That’s why it’s important for us to make the most from our time. Try timing your activities, multi-tasking or combining tasks. This will help you cut down on the time you are spending on an activity and will cut the number of things you have to do.

Relax…

Even during the most stressful day, successful people find the time to wind down. Even in the office, you can spare a few moments every day to take your mind off work, meditate for a few minutes or read the news. Relaxation is part of what makes us successful. We have to know when to turn on the standby button.

Colleagues Can Be Fun

Try to be as social as possible. The more social you are at work, the more you feel like part of the team. Try interacting with as many people as you possibly can—and make friends. Working with friends is much better than working with people you hardly know.

Wake Up, Gotta Get Out of Bed

What can really set back our days is being late for work. Once you are late for work, you can expect your day to become sluggish. Try heading to bed earlier, waking up earlier, watching the news, having a relaxing breakfast and then heading to work. There’s no reason to rush anything in your life—take it at its own pace!

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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 14

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to take a look at sociophobia, a crippling fear that can stop you reaching your full potential, and can even stop you from living a normal, everyday life.

Sociophobia is the fear of society or people. People with this phobia find it hard to even have or maintain friendships.

The origin of the word socio is Latin (meaning interpersonal relationships) and phobia is Greek (meaning fear). Sociophobia is considered to be a social phobia, which is discussed on the home page. Sociophobia is also known as anthropophobia and related to phobanthropy, which is a morbid dread of being around other people and of human society in general.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The symptoms of sociophobia can vary greatly by person depending on their level of fear. The symptoms typically include extreme anxiety, dread and anything associated with panic such as shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, excessive sweating, nausea, dry mouth, nausea, inability to articulate words or sentences, dry mouth and shaking. If you are finding you’re sweating with an increased heartbeat when in the presence of people, you may well be suffering from sociophobia.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Recognizing Negative Thoughts

The first step is to identify the automatic negative thoughts that underlie your fear of social situations. For example, if you’re worried about an upcoming work presentation, the underlying negative thought might be: “I’m going to blow it. Everyone will think I’m completely incompetent.”

Challenge Everything!

It helps to ask yourself questions about the negative thoughts: “Do I know for sure that I’m going to blow the presentation?” or “Even if I’m nervous, will people necessarily think I’m incompetent?” Through this logical evaluation of your negative thoughts, you can gradually replace them with more realistic and positive ways of looking at social situations that trigger your anxiety.

Feel No Fear

It can be incredibly frightening to think about why you feel and think the way you do about social situations, but understanding the reasons for your anxieties will help lessen their negative impact on your life.

Look Around You!

In order to reduce self-focus, pay attention to what is happening around you, rather than monitoring yourself or focusing on symptoms of anxiety in your body. Try looking at those around you, the sky, trees, plants or anything else that is going on in your vicinity. Focus on the world at large.

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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 13

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential—a fear called Acrophobia, which is a fear of heights that can stop many people from actually taking the first step toward their dreams.

Acrophobia may manifest itself in many ways, but is the extreme or irrational fear of heights. It’s not the same as vertigo, which is an inner ear problem that makes you think that you’re moving even when you’re not.

Recognizing Your Phobia

If you’re in a high place, do you feel like you will fall or jump off the edge? Do you suffer from panic attacks, dizzy spells and feeling faint? This condition can be triggered by a variety of every day activities such as travelling on a lift or escalator, parking in a multi-story car park or climbing a ladder. The thoughts and physical sensations are harmless but can be so distressing that it seriously limits the sufferer’s enjoyment of life, and can stop you from fulfilling your potential. Imagine if you had to make a business deal in a skyscraper—but couldn’t face going to the fifth floor? How about needing to meet that all important person for lunch—but not being able to reach the top of the building, where the restaurant is situated? If you suffer from acrophobia you may never be able to achieve the things you truly want to achieve.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Throw Yourself In

One of the most common ways of overcoming this phobia is just to “flood” it, in other words, just throw yourself right in and use your willpower to climb those stairs and stare out of the windows of a skyscraper. This could also mean skydiving, bungee jumping, or other extreme ways of getting to grips with your fear of heights. However, recent surveys have said that only a small percentage of people have overcome their phobia this way.

Small Steps

Another way to get to grips with your phobia would be to take small steps, until you feel comfortable to take some more. For example, you could try placing a ladder outside your home and climbing one step at a time. This would allow you to overcome your phobia at your own pace.

Thinking Is Doing

Sometimes the best way of combating a condition like acrophobia is just to change the way you think. Ask yourself why this condition scares you so much—what is it that bothers you so much about heights? Why are you scared to go on that elevator? Sometimes, it’s all down to defeating the demons in our minds.

Time

The most important thing is to realize that you have all the time in the world to overcome your phobia. There is no rush—take your own time and realize that only you can do it. Know that it could take a long time to get over your phobia—but it will be worth it in the end.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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It’s Warrior Wednesday, and Dreams Are What Life Is Made Of…

once upon“Dreams Are What Lives Are Made Of…”

Ask any successful person how they entered the business of being successful. The answer that you will hear overwhelmingly is that they dreamed of doing something. Something big. Something important. Something that nobody else had ever done. They dreamed of becoming, finding, having, being, saying. The dreams you’ve had are a direction. A desire that comes from deep down inside your body and soul. Dreaming is half the journey to success.

But, you may say, BUT… How do I know what I want, and how do I get what I want? That’s the hard part! You have a dream journey—but you have to make it from place A to place B. It may be a difficult journey with lots of frustrating stops, starts and detours. It may be something you feel that you can’t do. It may be that you are at a place in your life that doesn’t allow you to pursue your dreams—but that doesn’t mean you won’t stop dreaming. It doesn’t mean that tonight you won’t discover the way to make your dreams come true. There is nothing stopping you from doing anything in your mind—your dreams cannot be taken away from you—so instead of decreeing that in reality your dreams are nothing more than made up, you should embrace them, watch for an opportunity and strike when you feel the time is right.

Knowing Your Dreams

Sometimes people wake up after a vivid dream, and for a short time after they wake up, they can remember the whole thing. As your day progresses, you lose more and more of that dream, and within a few hours it may be gone. How about keeping a pen and a piece of paper by your bed? When you wake up in the morning, jot down your dream. This way you can see patterns, direction, and make sense of what your inner self is telling you—at your own pace—without fear of forgetting it.

No Dreams?

Rubbish. Everyone has dreams. It may just be that you don’t feel your dreams are achievable, therefore, you may be more likely to quash your dreams before they can even take shape. Think about it—at some point in your life you have wanted something. You’ve wanted to go somewhere, see something, be someone. Think back and try to reconnect with your dreams.

Honestly…

Okay, I am not saying that tomorrow you can wake up and make your dream come true. You are welcome to try that, but for the majority of people it will be a journey or a quest. It will be something that takes time to take shape. You need to be honest with yourself. Is this the right direction? Am I in the right place to make my dreams come true?

Maybe It’s Time…

From time to time, people get a buzzing feeling that it’s time. When you get that feeling—act on it. If it feels right, if the time is right—do it. Just DO IT!

Allow Yourself Space

When you are lying in bed at night, think about the wide blackness of space. Look at the planets, look at the distance between Earth and the other planets in our solar system. Now imagine that your journey is between Earth and Jupiter. How would you make that journey? What would you need? How long would it take? Problem solving skills are going to be very important to you as you follow the path leading to your dreams—ask yourself questions and come up with the answers. The more you come up with answers, the more you will think outside the box.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

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