Posted on Monday, February 29, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 9

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This fear is known as a fear of being worthy.

Sometimes we all struggle with feeling like we deserve the things we get out of life. It’s hard to accept at times that we are meant to be happy, that we are meant to do all the things we want to do. It’s also hard to understand that sometimes others will not be happy about our successes—sometimes people will be jealous, angry or upset that we have achieved things. But that doesn’t mean that we should feel unworthy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step to recognizing this phobia is to try and find the moments when you turn down an opportunity due to not feeling good enough, strong enough or intelligent enough to take a chance. Have you ever felt not “good” enough, or strong enough, or as though you don’t “deserve” to have something good happen to you? When we can examine these moments, we can deal with the way we feel. It’s important to pick up on these feelings to deal with them. So when you find yourself in a good position—where something good is happening—if you suddenly feel negative, try to isolate that feeling. That’s the phobia we need to fix.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Yes, You Can

If you wake up in the morning and you feel that you can’t face something, realize you can face it. There’s nothing to it. Just jump up, have a coffee, pace yourself and roll right into it. Yes, you may be terrified deep down inside, but on the surface you can look as cool as a cucumber. Fake it until you make it.

Who Says You Can’t?

So you just landed the opportunity of a lifetime. Nobody thinks you can turn it into anything—but you can! You don’t need me to tell you about your own talents. You have all the talent you need to turn this project into a success. Don’t listen to too many people who say you can’t—that’s bound to make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Instead, listen to those who say you can.

Careful Means Success

There are two ways to handle a situation you are unsure of. You can rush in and make mistakes; or you can careful manoeuvre yourself and make it a success. If you are unsure of your talent—if you lack the confidence to feel that you can do it—take it slowly and learn as you go. Your confidence will grow with every success.

Connect

A friend in need is a friend forever, if treated correctly. The friend you make today may be the one who offers you a job in a few years. If you are lacking confidence or skills, or if you don’t feel worthy, make friends and allow those friendships to build your confidence. The more support you get, the better you will feel about what you are doing.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday, and “No” Is Sometimes the Most Important Word…

fear11 “No can be the most important ‘yes’ you’ve ever said.”

One of the most common problems faced by people around the world is an inability to say no. People don’t feel that they can say no; they feel pressured to always make other people happy. No is just a word many people can’t say… and I’m telling you that No might be the most important word you may ever learn to say confidently. Have you ever thought about the millions of problems that could be avoided by someone just saying “no” and saying nothing further? No… No… No… No…

Warrior Wednesday is all about empowering you, and giving you the tools that you need to make your life better. No is just another one of those tools that will serve you well. Deep down, nobody wants to say no, but sometimes we have to, and our lives are better for having said it.
“No” Never Means “Yes”

You know some salesmen say that a “No” is just a “Yes”? Well, they’re wrong. When you feel deep down that your answer is “No,” it’s “NO!” That’s the important thing to remember. When you are saying “No” you mean “No.”
Cut Out the Conversation

One of the best ways for people to get around “No” is by continuing a conversation and going around the side of your “No.” When you say “No” to someone—I’d suggest cutting the rest of the conversation short. It’s no, and don’t give anyone the chance to turn your “No” into a yes.

It Feels Bad…

Saying “no” can feel bad. It really can. But when you truly want to say “No,” you should just say “No.” Nobody can force you to do anything. You call the shots in your life, and you control what you do. Try not to feel bad for saying “No.” Just do it and move on.

But!

The most common response to “No” is “But…” and those buts can go on for a long time. Try to just keep your direction and move forward with it. Don’t listen to the reasoning and arguments of others. Don’t be persuaded or sold on doing something you don’t want to do. Every time you hear “but” think “No!”

One No at a Time

You won’t wake up tomorrow with the ability to say “No,” but you should start saying it in your head. You should try to envision what it would look like to tell someone “No.” If you can comfortably visualize saying “no,” you can actually say it whenever you want. Practice saying “no” in front of the mirror—and every single time you need to say it, say it. It could save your life.

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Posted on Monday, February 22, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 8

fear11 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This is a fear of losing your freedom.

Sometimes, success means that we have less time to do the things we want. Many of us just take this as a given—Rome wasn’t built on vacations, after all. But for some people, the fear of actually losing their free time is so crippling they would rather not have any part in a more successful and productive life.

This is sometimes called a fear of commitment, and it really is. It’s a gripping fear that will stop you getting involved in some of the most life-changing aspects of your life. These aspects can range from marriage, all the way up to taking an executive position in a company.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step is overcoming your fear of commitment is working out what you’re actually afraid of. Because—and you might not realize this—you’re not actually afraid of commitment.

Overcoming Your Phobia

More Freedom Feeds Freedom

If you wake up when you want to, to go to a job that is an expression of what you really believe in, hang out with inspiring people who value your opinion and demand that you do what you’re really passionate about, then you’re not going to really care about those few hours at night, and commitment won’t seem like such a scary proposition.

You’re going to feel free already, regardless of what happens between 6pm and 10pm.

Fulfil Desires

If you are using your time to fulfil your desires, you are going to feel accomplished. If you feel accomplished, you are not going to feel so stressed about commitment or losing freedom. If you spend your days doing the things you want, you can use the nights to do things that wouldn’t necessarily be your first choice of activity.

Careful Relationships

If you are careful about the relationships you allow to grow, you will find that your commitment to them isn’t stifling at all. The stifling relationships are the ones we don’t want, and when we are feeling trapped, those are the ones we will fight hardest against. Be careful who you create a relationship with, and you should find commitment easier to handle.

Friends

As with many problems, a problem shared is a problem halved. Do you have someone in your life that you trust? If you do, then now might be the time to turn to them for some help. If you don’t—you may need to correct that problem first. If you are without anyone with whom to share your problems, you need to start creating careful relationships.

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Posted on Wednesday, February 17, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and There’s A World of Choice

“Unless you try to find something… you won’t know the options to take…”

fear1 Sometimes I wonder if people realize the amount of choices they have. Sometimes it’s hard to see any other alternative, and sometimes it’s tough to really see past the walls that face us down every single day. For example, take someone who is looking for a job, for the first time, a brand new jobseeker. He, or she, has no work experience, no credibility with an employer, and is likely to, have a low earning capability. How does that person see past all the negative things they have found themselves looking at? Well the first step would be to look at the choices and opportunities surrounding them. What can they offer? What do they want? It might not be easy to become a doctor overnight—but there are industries where a newbie can be given the scope to grow, fairly easily. Take the sales industry, for example. Age doesn’t matter, experience can help—but isn’t essential—but talent matters? If you are a person who likes people you may be looking at the wrong industry—you may want to give sales a chance. Now what else do you like doing? Look at what you have, what you want and then go for what you feel to be the right choice.

Day-To-Day Opportunities

It has been said that being in a job will help you get a job. But that doesn’t mean you should give up on getting employment. Try looking at some of the opportunities that come to you every single day. Is the lawn overgrown on the house yonder? Go over and see if they would like to hire someone to give it a trim. Is there something wrong with your neighbours fence? Maybe they would like it to be mended. We are reminded daily that there are jobs to be done—and those jobs do not necessarily take place in an office.

Money, what’s it good for?

Absolutely everything! But you can make just as much money being self-employed as you can from any job, anywhere. It’s a fact. A gardener can make as much money as a top level executive—without the stress level. Yes, a corporate job will give you money, but a simple gardening job will give you money too. Don’t make your judgements based on money though—make your choice based on the job, your ability, your need and the way your gut feels.

The Dream Job…

Isn’t always your first job. If you do take a job that isn’t your dream job, don’t despair! Try to make the very best of it. The experience you will gain will make you a stronger candidate for your dream job.

Nobody Matters ‘Cept Yourself

Yes we need to earn money to pay for this, that and the other. Yes it does take money to live… but you have but one life to live and you should always try to do what you want to do. Don’t be pressured—if you want to aim high… take a step ladder and climb as quickly as you dare.

One Step at a Time

As always this is important. Some people reach the top by 25. Some people reach the top at 85. Some people never reach the top. It isn’t a race—it’s an experience. Every single day is an experience and don’t worry about getting anywhere too quickly. Try to enjoy everything as it happens, and don’t let yourself be conned into thinking that you aren’t making good progress.

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Posted on Wednesday, February 10, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday And I’m Asking If You Watch Your Steps

“Just a few steps can take you to the top of a mountain…”

fear1 People don’t really consider how much power, and energy, it takes to make just a single step. Most people just think a single step is a simple thing. A throwaway thing. Yet, that single step can be the first step of a journey. It could be the last step that leads you to the top of Mt. Everest. It could be the step that leads you towards a new career; it could also be the step that saves your life. If you think a single step doesn’t matter—then you may want to reconsider that thought. A single step can be life changing. That step you took today could have led you towards the greatest adventure of your life. The step you are about to take could be the step that sets you apart from the rest. I’d like you to consider some thoughts on this subject, and perhaps take one first step into a much bigger world…

An Ant’s Life

For example, take the ant. A day’s journey is undertaken by an ant as it moves the same distance as a human would in one step. When you take a step, you are making an ant’s daily journey in mere seconds. Ants are beautiful creatures that work hard all day long. Carrying sugar, searching for food—they take hours to make the same journey you can take in one single step. What have you done with your step?

Where Does Your Step Take You?

Humans take many steps every single day. Where have your steps taken you today? Did you walk to meet a new person? Walk to start a new job? Every single step you take is important, and those steps will take you anywhere you want to go—one step at a time.

Small Steps Build into a Journey

Small steps don’t seem like a lot, but taken as part of a bigger picture they can become huge journeys. One step at a time taken every single minute of every single day would allow you to walk around the world. Have you ever realized that?

Reason!

You can walk aimlessly through life—but imagine if you had a reason to take small steps. Imagine if you had a direction. Why don’t you try it? Give yourself a goal, and take small steps until you get there. Your goal today is to get to work. The first step is to walk down those stairs.

One Step at a Time

Sometimes, we all need to realize that every journey is taken one step at a time. There’s no reason to try and fight that. One small step leads to another and another and another, and soon you will look back and find that you have taken thousands of steps. All because you kept in mind that you were taking one step at a time. It doesn’t seem so hard when you look at it this way.

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Posted on Wednesday, February 3, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and You Have the Power…

“It’s powerful being in charge…”

People often believe that other people hold power over their lives, and this can be true. If you are in prison, in school or on a bus—someone holds power over your life and your time. But you have to admit that you are the only one who truly holds power over the direction of your life.

For example, we talked last week about people who want to choose a day to change their life. Some people have to understand, first, that there is nothing stopping them from changing their life today. The only thing they need is the power to make change, and they already have that.

Have you ever believed that you should be part of the in-crowd? Have you ever bought sneakers just because your friends have them? Are you a follower? Well, why don’t you try being a do-er? Do what you want, when you want to do it. Wrestle control of your life away from other people, and be your own in-crowd.

Actively decide that today I have the power to make a difference to myself. Keep that mantra in mind and follow it. You truly do have the power today to make a difference. All it takes is the realization that you have the power.

I decided to put together four techniques I have used to help bring the power back into my own life.

Who Has the Power?

It all starts with the realization that you have the power. You hold all the keys, and those keys can be activated just by the realization that you can do whatever you want. You are the only thing stopping yourself from becoming whatever you dream of being.

The In-Crowd Isn’t Your Life

Yes, we all like to be popular—but what your friends do doesn’t have to be the same as you do. Try being a little different, a little controversial, maintain control in your life and be the trend leader. Others may not like that you have your life under control—but you will.

Give Me the Reason

There’s a reason for everything. If you want to really be in control of your life, you have to have a reason to do so. Once you have a reason, a purpose, you will start to find that taking control is natural and that it means something. Take control for a purpose—even if that purpose is just to make you happy.

Don’t Worry… You Are the Greatest

Sometimes, all we need to hear is that we matter. When we matter, we do our best. Before you can totally take control of your life, you need to realize that you matter. You are one of the greatest humans who ever lived. Take control, get purpose and move on. You can do it!

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Posted on Wednesday, January 27, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and This Is YOUR Day…

“When you wake up, you know there’s something to be done…”

fear1 Which day should I choose to change my life? I was asked that once. Everyone wants to change something. The clothes they wear, perhaps the friends they choose to have, and don’t forget that we are changing inside our bodies on a daily basis. Is there really a better time to change than right now?

I don’t think so.

The changes we make now will allow us to live differently in the coming days. Why wait when you can have everything you want right now?

Yet, do we all know what we want? The best way to really find out what we need is to sit down and think about what we can accomplish. Then you have to ask yourself—what should I accomplish first? What can I do today?

I decided to put together four techniques I have used to help change my life on a day-to-day basis.

What Can I Change Today?

Can you start a chain reaction by taking that call with your boss today? How about decluttering that closet? What about taking that first step outside? Is there something you can do today that will impact your tomorrow for the better?

Help Your Neighbor

Your changes don’t have to help yourself. You can make a difference today by changing the life of someone else. How can you be of service today? Does that person need some help with their yard? A friend to talk to? Change your life by changing the life of someone else, on a daily basis.

Give Me an M… Motivation

Change of any kind takes motivation. Try writing down the things you can do NOW to change your life. What can you do? Wake up earlier and start the day with a smile? How about tackling that awful job first? Motivate yourself with a list you can tick off and put paid to, and then look at all the changes you made.

Don’t Worry… Be Happy

We’d all like to change everything that needs changing within minutes. Wouldn’t a magic wand be nice? Well, think about it—it wouldn’t actually be that great. You’d be bored within moments with nothing to aim for, no achievements to, well, achieve… Take your life in your hands, and change it on a daily basis. Soon, you will be able to look back at all the good things you’ve done and all the great achievements you’ve made. But be sure to make these changes at your own pace.

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Posted on Wednesday, January 13, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and Dreams Are Your Best Friend…

“Let yourself be whatever you dream of being…”

The most valuable thing a human being has is aspiration. This is what allows us all to do all the wonderful things we can dream of. Now many people dream, but I’m not sure if they dream big enough. I think dreams should be the biggest things we have. If you want to achieve something—aim to achieve something so big that you can’t imagine what it will be like. Then work your way towards that dream by aspiring—aspire to be an actor by joining an acting class. Aspire to be in real estate by taking the course. Dream, aspire and achieve.

Know exactly what you want. A dream starts with clear goal in life.

Don’t be afraid to have a daydream about your dream — imagine what it looks like, how it makes you feel and who it brings into your life. Feel the life that you will have in the future.

Try to create a dream board and paste pictures, words or articles of anything that represents your dream onto it.

Write the story about your dream. Record your dream and listen to it at night as you try to get some sleep.

Don’t let failure get you down. Nobody knows the future and that failure could very well lead to an even bigger dream, or life.

Talk about your dream using positive words as if you believe and expect it will happen. Truly believe and expect your dream to happen.

Tell others about your dream. You never know who can help you on your journey.

Believe that you deserve your dream to come true.

Imagine how your dream will help others. What will it allow you give back?

Always try to have constant gratitude for all the ups and downs on the journey towards your dream.

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Posted on Monday, January 11, 2016

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, Chimes In!

I woke up to the sad news of David Bowie…Dies at 69! Understanding how his family may be feeling as I had just lost a brother barely 6 days ago, my first inclination was to find out what legacy he left behind. While many may be stuck on how he died, I have a different view about it. I shared this on my periscope broadcast today (CLICK HERE).

Many who follow me on periscope (@PrincessinSub) and BLABTV (www.blab.im/PrincessinSub) know how passionate I am on the importance of writing our Legacy Statement and allowing that legacy statement to point us to our true calling or passion or life purpose, as you may call it. David Bowie exemplified that.

photo by_Adam-Bielawski

Here is why:
(1). Every media outlet I turned to this morning said one great thing about his legacy: that he was “a master re-inventor and a compassionate business man.” This is a legacy his family should be incredibly proud of. It was amazing that not many talked about how much he made but more on the lives he impacted while he was with us. This is a legacy worth celebrating for generations to come.
(2). Another media outlet talked about the fact that he was someone who tried things and when it didn’t work, he knew when to let go, then re-invent his life purpose. Because he was great at it, his music cut across generations. While many artists in his generation may have faded away, he remained known. He was also a family man, who kept his family as private as he could.
(3). Once he re-engineered his life purpose, he worked at it. As a matter of fact, David Bowe’s last music was released last week, few days before he turned 69.

Here is a question for you today, if you took your last breath today, what would your legacy be?

Live Life Full, Leave It Empty

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Posted on Wednesday, January 6, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday and Nothing Should Stand in Your Way

“Tomorrow we should look back at today as the inspiration…”

Have you ever wondered if you are getting the most out of your life? I think we all have—but what we have to remember is that today we build our tomorrow. Some people wish that changes could take place. Some people wish so hard—but they fail to put the work in. Today, we should be working to make our tomorrow great. The first step in changing our lives is making the decision to do so—but these decisions are sometimes hard to make.

Knowing that the decision to change your life may be the most important decision you will ever make can make it harder to make a choice. As all of your inner demons come out to skew the way you feel and the way you make choices, it’s important to keep a level head, a clear mind and a strong understanding of what YOU need.

I decided to put together four techniques I have used to help myself make decisions. There is no perfect decision making process, but these techniques will help you make a clear and concise decision.

Try to get a second opinion

Going with your “gut” instinct often means that your decisions are highly swayed by emotion, which may not lead to you doing the right thing. To better see the bigger picture, try to get a second opinion on what you should do from someone you trust and who does not have a vested interest in the outcome.

Gather and study all of the available information

Many of us go with what “feels right” when making decisions; however, the outcome of important decisions should not depend solely on how you are feeling at that exact moment in time, as feelings can change quite dramatically from one day to the next. Before consulting your gut feeling, try to take into account all the important facts and assess the implications of each outcome. Consider what the risks are with each outcome, who it will affect and whether it is feasible.

Be sure to set yourself a deadline

While weighing up all of your options is an important part of the decision-making process, spending too much time seeking out possible solutions and trying to pinpoint the “right” one can actually make the process more difficult and stressful than it needs to be. While a certain period of time should be allotted for considering your options, it can help to set a deadline for making your decision and stick to it. Decide what would be a realistic amount of time for making your decision and write down the date somewhere for your reference.

Sit down and make a pros and cons list

It’s the age-old technique for making decisions, but writing down a list of the pros and cons of each of your options is also one of the most effective ways to make a sensible and well thought out decision. Write down all your options, then dedicate a separate sheet of paper to each. Draw a line down the center of each sheet and write a list of all the pros (or benefits) of the option down one side of the division, and all the cons, or disadvantages, down the other.

Rather than counting up the number of pros and cons for each option, it is important to “weight” each point according to how significant it is. You can grade each point on a scale of one to five, for example, in terms of importance.