Posted on Wednesday, February 24, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday, and “No” Is Sometimes the Most Important Word…

fear11 “No can be the most important ‘yes’ you’ve ever said.”

One of the most common problems faced by people around the world is an inability to say no. People don’t feel that they can say no; they feel pressured to always make other people happy. No is just a word many people can’t say… and I’m telling you that No might be the most important word you may ever learn to say confidently. Have you ever thought about the millions of problems that could be avoided by someone just saying “no” and saying nothing further? No… No… No… No…

Warrior Wednesday is all about empowering you, and giving you the tools that you need to make your life better. No is just another one of those tools that will serve you well. Deep down, nobody wants to say no, but sometimes we have to, and our lives are better for having said it.
“No” Never Means “Yes”

You know some salesmen say that a “No” is just a “Yes”? Well, they’re wrong. When you feel deep down that your answer is “No,” it’s “NO!” That’s the important thing to remember. When you are saying “No” you mean “No.”
Cut Out the Conversation

One of the best ways for people to get around “No” is by continuing a conversation and going around the side of your “No.” When you say “No” to someone—I’d suggest cutting the rest of the conversation short. It’s no, and don’t give anyone the chance to turn your “No” into a yes.

It Feels Bad…

Saying “no” can feel bad. It really can. But when you truly want to say “No,” you should just say “No.” Nobody can force you to do anything. You call the shots in your life, and you control what you do. Try not to feel bad for saying “No.” Just do it and move on.

But!

The most common response to “No” is “But…” and those buts can go on for a long time. Try to just keep your direction and move forward with it. Don’t listen to the reasoning and arguments of others. Don’t be persuaded or sold on doing something you don’t want to do. Every time you hear “but” think “No!”

One No at a Time

You won’t wake up tomorrow with the ability to say “No,” but you should start saying it in your head. You should try to envision what it would look like to tell someone “No.” If you can comfortably visualize saying “no,” you can actually say it whenever you want. Practice saying “no” in front of the mirror—and every single time you need to say it, say it. It could save your life.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Posted on Monday, February 22, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 8

fear11 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This is a fear of losing your freedom.

Sometimes, success means that we have less time to do the things we want. Many of us just take this as a given—Rome wasn’t built on vacations, after all. But for some people, the fear of actually losing their free time is so crippling they would rather not have any part in a more successful and productive life.

This is sometimes called a fear of commitment, and it really is. It’s a gripping fear that will stop you getting involved in some of the most life-changing aspects of your life. These aspects can range from marriage, all the way up to taking an executive position in a company.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step is overcoming your fear of commitment is working out what you’re actually afraid of. Because—and you might not realize this—you’re not actually afraid of commitment.

Overcoming Your Phobia

More Freedom Feeds Freedom

If you wake up when you want to, to go to a job that is an expression of what you really believe in, hang out with inspiring people who value your opinion and demand that you do what you’re really passionate about, then you’re not going to really care about those few hours at night, and commitment won’t seem like such a scary proposition.

You’re going to feel free already, regardless of what happens between 6pm and 10pm.

Fulfil Desires

If you are using your time to fulfil your desires, you are going to feel accomplished. If you feel accomplished, you are not going to feel so stressed about commitment or losing freedom. If you spend your days doing the things you want, you can use the nights to do things that wouldn’t necessarily be your first choice of activity.

Careful Relationships

If you are careful about the relationships you allow to grow, you will find that your commitment to them isn’t stifling at all. The stifling relationships are the ones we don’t want, and when we are feeling trapped, those are the ones we will fight hardest against. Be careful who you create a relationship with, and you should find commitment easier to handle.

Friends

As with many problems, a problem shared is a problem halved. Do you have someone in your life that you trust? If you do, then now might be the time to turn to them for some help. If you don’t—you may need to correct that problem first. If you are without anyone with whom to share your problems, you need to start creating careful relationships.

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Posted on Monday, February 15, 2016

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 7

fear1 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of those fears is so great it leads people to spend their whole life inside their homes. That fear is called Agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia is a very common condition that makes a person avoid a number of otherwise ordinary activities and places, including many that the person used to enjoy before their trouble started. This avoidance usually develops in response to panic attacks. Because a panic attack can be such an upsetting and scary experience, people are naturally motivated to do whatever they can to avoid additional attacks. Unfortunately, it’s precisely a person’s efforts to protect himself from panic which create the greater problem of Agoraphobia.

A typical example would be a person who avoids several ordinary activities and situations, such as highway driving, large supermarkets, and crowded cinemas and churches. Even a mild case can be a big burden, because people with Agoraphobia experience lots of shame, frustration, and anticipatory worry, in addition to the loss of the ability to participate in activities they used to enjoy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Agoraphobia comes about when a person with Panic Disorder gets tricked into believing that he (or she) has a “safe zone” within which he is “protected” from the ravages of a panic attack, and beyond which he is subject to great danger. It leads him to believe that if he limits his activities, and engages in other protective behaviors, he might be able to prevent more attacks.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Avoidance Is Never the Answer

The effort to limit your activities and travel in the hopes of avoiding panic attacks rarely, if ever, results in anything positive. You might avoid panic attacks a lot of the time, but the anxiety never goes away, because you’re always worried about the “next time.” The more you avoid, the more anxious you become, and next thing you know, your life has become quite limited and filled with worry and shame. That’s the heart of the problem.

Safety Isn’t Safer

Safety behaviors foster the illusion that you are protected from danger, but they actually keep your fear alive over time. They seem to be a help, but they’re actually part of the problem, in disguise. Try not to do the safe thing. Try to break the habit and do what you want to do.

Other People

From your window, watch other people as they leave their homes and enjoy a happy, fruitful life. Wouldn’t you like to be part of that? Wouldn’t you like to sit in a café, go shopping or enjoy your day by spending it in the park? How about that sunshine? The flowers? How about those opportunities? You can expand your world—and you will want to expand your world once you discover what it has to offer. It’s a wonderful world out there—if only you’ll give it a chance.

Small Steps

Today is such a lovely day. Why don’t we spend it in the garden? Look at the back of your house. Doesn’t the garden look interesting? You can go out and spend the afternoon outside, with a coffee and a good book. You don’t need to interact with anyone. But you can take a smaller step into a much, much bigger world.

Friends

Do you have a good friend you can trust? Why don’t you invite your friend over to go to the park? If you can find someone who will take their time and go with you—why shouldn’t you just do it? Parks across the world are safe—there’s nothing to harm you. The police always patrol the park and other park dwellers will be sure to keep an eye on you. Wouldn’t you like to take a stroll in the grass and enjoy such a sunny day?

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Posted on Monday, February 8, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 6

fear11 The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. One of these fears is so debilitating that it stops people from succeeding every single day. That fear is a fear of public speaking.

Fear of public speaking is, perhaps, the most common of all the known phobias. It’s a form of performance anxiety in which a person becomes very concerned that he or she will look visibly anxious, maybe even have a panic attack while speaking. Over time, people try to protect themselves by either avoiding public speaking or by struggling against speech anxiety. In this way, people get tricked into making the fear of public speaking more chronic and disruptive.

Some people do this with avoidance. They choose college coursework in such a way as to avoid public speaking, rather than taking the classes they actually want to take. At work, they pass up assignments, and even promotions, which would require speaking. Their fear of public speaking may even lead them to choose a career that doesn’t call for public speaking, rather than one they really want. This is often the case with people who have feared public speaking from a very young age.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Before you can even get to grips with this problem, you need to know you have a problem. Ask yourself a question. If you had to give a presentation right now—could you do it? Could you stand up and give a speech in front of a group of people? If you are cringing right now—you may well be suffering from a phobia. So now you have to delve deeper. Could you give a presentation without preparation? Could you just jump up and go for it? Could you do it if you had enough time to prepare? What conditions would you need to be able to give an effective presentation? If you are still cringing, then it’s highly likely you are suffering from a phobia of public speaking.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Get Organized

When you organize all of your thoughts and materials, it helps you to become much more relaxed and calm. When you have clear, organized thoughts, it can greatly reduce your speaking anxiety because you can better focus on the one thing at hand—giving a great speech.

Eliminate that Fear of Rejection

“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.

Watch Yourself in the Mirror

Practice your speech in front of the mirror as if you were speaking directly to someone. Try to imagine yourself in front of a crowd and pay special attention to:

Your facial expressions

Your gestures

Your body movements

How welcoming you appear

How your mouth words things

Record Yourself and Learn to Love Your Voice

Record your speech on your phone or video camera. Record yourself giving the talk from beginning to end. Then listen to it or watch it, and make notes on how you could make it better. Some people do not like listening to the sound of their voice on tape, so it is important that you get used to your own voice and speaking style.

Give Your Speech to Another Person

There are plenty of people you can practice on. Be sure to tell the person to be completely honest with you in their critique, but also be careful not to choose someone who is overly critical who will, more than likely, destroy your self-confidence. You want to choose someone you can trust.

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Posted on Monday, January 25, 2016

Holding Back The Fears: Conquering Fears: Part 4

There’s always something out there trying to scare us. If you listen without really thinking about what you’re being told, it’s quite easy to become scared. For some, this means hiding away from the world. For others, daily life becomes a struggle.

Panic!

The negative results of panic can be seen every single day. People get upset, overreact and make more out of a problem (or a perceived problem) than there really is. Frightening yourself beyond the real need to deal with a problem puts your body into a fight-or-flight situation.

Emotional Panic

This can create a shutdown of feelings; it can leave you in a constant state of shock. You don’t think clearly; you don’t make good decisions. You can’t remember things very well. You cannot accurately assess a situation.

Overcoming Panic… You CAN do it!

The Signs of Panic

You feel panic coming on… A racing heartbeat, a flushing feeling in your face, mental confusion, shouting, saying unreasonable things, or just saying whatever comes out of your mouth without thinking about what you are saying. You are more than likely in a state of panic.

Deep Breathing

Deep breathing has been proven to calm your body by burning off the adrenaline that’s been released in panic. Slow down, clear your mind and count to ten. Focus on thinking clearly, factually, and do not react emotionally.

Responsibility

Are in you in immediate danger? If you’re not, then whatever has set you into a panic is probably not as urgent as you think. What scares you? Discover what it is and jot it down. Once you know what sets off your panic—you can start to combat it and think clearly.

Check the Facts

Yes, you may be worried about what you saw on the news. Killer bees, bombs, natural disasters, whatever. But is it really a problem? Is it really an epidemic? If you are in a panic over the news, you should consider the source. Just because the National Enquirer says that Bill Clinton has five days to live, it may not be true at all. In real terms, you should look at the facts, too. Is your boss going to fire you? Probably not—but if he does, he may have lost a very talented human being.

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Posted on Monday, January 11, 2016

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, Chimes In!

I woke up to the sad news of David Bowie…Dies at 69! Understanding how his family may be feeling as I had just lost a brother barely 6 days ago, my first inclination was to find out what legacy he left behind. While many may be stuck on how he died, I have a different view about it. I shared this on my periscope broadcast today (CLICK HERE).

Many who follow me on periscope (@PrincessinSub) and BLABTV (www.blab.im/PrincessinSub) know how passionate I am on the importance of writing our Legacy Statement and allowing that legacy statement to point us to our true calling or passion or life purpose, as you may call it. David Bowie exemplified that.

photo by_Adam-Bielawski

Here is why:
(1). Every media outlet I turned to this morning said one great thing about his legacy: that he was “a master re-inventor and a compassionate business man.” This is a legacy his family should be incredibly proud of. It was amazing that not many talked about how much he made but more on the lives he impacted while he was with us. This is a legacy worth celebrating for generations to come.
(2). Another media outlet talked about the fact that he was someone who tried things and when it didn’t work, he knew when to let go, then re-invent his life purpose. Because he was great at it, his music cut across generations. While many artists in his generation may have faded away, he remained known. He was also a family man, who kept his family as private as he could.
(3). Once he re-engineered his life purpose, he worked at it. As a matter of fact, David Bowe’s last music was released last week, few days before he turned 69.

Here is a question for you today, if you took your last breath today, what would your legacy be?

Live Life Full, Leave It Empty

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Date:	November 5, 2015
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It’s Warrior Wednesday: …If Only He Came Soon….

TODAY’S FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.

Have you ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and in disarray about a situation in your life…. where you wished and thought, if only God had intervened soon enough, your loved one would not have died? If Only God had intervened soon enough, the business or dream you were trying to make happen would not have collapsed? If Only, He had come soon enough, things would not have turned out the way it did.

“Lord if only…Lord if only… Lord if Only!”

Many are afraid to admit this but there have been times in my life where I just didn’t understand the initial outcome of a promise I knew God had deposited into my life, or why I put so much work into something or someone and it turns sour when I was sure it was God who’d asked me to do that or forge that relationship.

TODAY’S SPIRITUAL EXPLORATION:
Join me in exploring some scriptural verses today to help ease our minds:
John 11:39 New International Version(NIV) John 11: 1-45
³⁹“Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Imagine a loved one gravely ill; your family members prayed and fasted and at the end of the day, that loved one dies… How do you reconcile with this?

Now imagine, a dream you had nursed for long, you have pumped all that you had in it, prayerfully considering your path, pushing forward because you really believed you were made to solve that problem through your innovative idea. At the end of the day, things did not happen the way you envisioned.

Imagine a relationship you were truly dedicated to building, knowing that this person is who you will live the rest of your life with; or go into business with, or perhaps you were meant to mentor, but then it all ended in painful breakups.

The Story of Lazarus:
The story in John 11 is that of Lazarus. He fell gravely ill and his family did all they could to get Jesus attention to visit. When he finally got to the town, he was met with mourners in sack clothes … there was much wailing and turmoil. Many probably did not understand what Jesus was doing as he walked among them examining their countenance. I can imagine all of the murmuring and some saying, what is Jesus doing here? Didn’t He realize that the man – Lazarus is now dead? Some even said it to his face, don’t you see or know that Lazarus has been dead for 4 days? When we needed you to come, you did not show up? What could you possible do now that his body is decaying?

Jesus Response to the People’s Behavior:
How could they have doubted the father? How could they have doubted that he did not hear them? How could they have doubted that He knew exactly what had happened and that he was still the same person who’d performed much miracles before Lazarus death?

But that God many be glorified and that he (Jesus) fulfills his promise…he called out to Lazarus.. and commanded him to come forth from underneath the grave. Immediately, the stones covering the mouth of the tomb were pushed back and Lazarus came out.
Source: The Raising of Lazarus, by Duccio, 1310–11

While we may not understand why it takes Forever for God to answer our prayers, He has heard us the very first time we made our request. Often the answers are waiting for us to fully align with God’s words, be ready to receive it, having the right attitude to sustain the answer.

Wisdom Nugget for Today:
Take the limits off GOD! Take the limits off His Power. He is God who answers ALL prayers and because He sees the future more than we do, HE ANSWERS THE WAY HE KNOWS IT WILL EVENTUALLY BENEFIT US.

In the case of Lazarus, Jesus was not 4 days late but HE WAS RIGHT ON TIME. Likewise, whatever the dream is that seems dead right now, if you take the limits off God, HE will breathe life into it and cause it to prosper at the right time. Our time is never His time. He owns the past, the present and the future and because He knows your DNA, He will never allow any vision, dreams, or goals to crush you ..which can happen if fulfilled sooner.

Today, choose to take the limit off God…. Move into the realm of possibilities, trusting that he knows the right time to release that which you have asked. Continue to abide in the will of the father for your life, crushing every fear, every doubts, every past pains from failure with the understanding that today’s FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.

Until Next Time,
Be Inspired, Be Motivated, Be Of Sentimental Value, Be Authentic

Dr. Princess Fumi S. Hancock, BSN, MA, DNP.
Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Behavioral Health & Transformation Interventionist
http://www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

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Posted on Wednesday, October 21, 2015

It’s Warrior Wednesday: Get Over Yourself & Out of Your Own Way!

Get Out Your Own Way!

Many see success as a mystery because they have had so many unsuccessful ventures &/or relationships that they have now resolved that perhaps they are not meant to succeed.

On today’s episode, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock will talk frankly and help you understand why you have failed or things are not going quite well in your life. LISTEN HERE!

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Posted on Wednesday, September 30, 2015

It’s Warrior Wednesday: The Road to Success Requires Some “Housecleaning” & “Heart cleaning”

It’s Warrior Wednesday: Southern Warrior Sister, Dr . Princess Fumi Hancock presents:
The 5 Minute Success Blueprint

The Road to Success Requires Some “Housecleaning” & “Heart cleaning”

In Just 5 Minutes, You Will Garner Cutting edge Wisdom Nuggets to thrust you to your Destination. Knowledge is POWER. LISTEN!

The Road to Success Requires Some “Housecleaning”.
Housecleaning – The removal of unwanted or superfluous items, practices, conditions, or personnel.

Many are not successful because they lack complete focus. At one time, they are doing something but before they see the success of that one thing, they have moved unto something else. Are you guilty?

On today’s episode, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock will discuss the importance of doing some house and heart cleaning before taking a step towards success. LISTEN. LIKE, & SUBSCRIBE HERE!

WANT MORE?
Check Out the #1 habit You Must Avoid Like a Plague to Succeed
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Category Archives: Your Personal Development

It’s Warrior Wednesday, and “No” Is Sometimes the Most Important Word…

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 8

Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 7

Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 6

Holding Back The Fears: Conquering Fears: Part 4

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

It’s Warrior Wednesday: …If Only He Came Soon….

It’s Warrior Wednesday: Get Over Yourself & Out of Your Own Way!

It’s Warrior Wednesday: The Road to Success Requires Some “Housecleaning” & “Heart cleaning”