Tag Archives: Your Inner You

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I Speak…

coachGetting to actually know your audience is a crucial part of giving a presentation. This blog article is all about actually knowing the audience you are going to talk to. Sincerity is one of your biggest selling tools. Being sincere will go a long way towards warming your audience to your presentation. But how can you be sincere if you don’t know your audience? Why don’t we find out?

Ask, Ask and Ask Again

The more you know about your audience, the better your presentation will be. A good public speaker will ask questions. Before you even get on the stage, you should meet with your demographic and find out about them. What would you like to know? How would you like to hear it? What would be crucial to you? Then you need to actually research the presentation area itself. How big is the room? How is it laid out? You need intel, and that should be your first priority. Know, ask and find out everything you can before you set up a presentation.

Let’s Get Personal, Personal!

If you can, you should try meeting your audience before the presentation. Who put the event together? Who is the boss? Who is the chairman? Find out and befriend these people. Once you have these people on side, the others will be a piece of cake. If you can connect with the decision makers, they will give you legitimacy and will help you create a relationship with the group as a whole.

Engage!

From the start, you should be looking to engage with your audience. Some audiences might enjoy plays on words, topical humor, political nuances, even raunchiness. A series of great questions may be the way to engage your audience. You need to be ready to actually get your hands dirty and engage with those people waiting to hear you talk.

Know, Know, Know Your Audience and What They Know

You are the expert on your subject. But how much does your audience know? This is a critical question that can make or break a presentation. No matter how slick and together you are, if you talk over everyone’s head, they’ll be baffled, not enthralled. On the other hand, if the audience is up to speed, they may find that your presentation is less than engaging.

Say “NO” to Being a Diva

No one likes a selfish speaker, and nothing derails a good presentation faster than a presenter who is more interested in presenting themselves than their subject. You must be authoritative and confident when you step in front of a group of peers, but you must never be cocky or over-confident. Focus on the material, not yourself, and you’ll go far!

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I Teach…

fear11Many life coaches themselves fail, and that failure can be caused by a multitude of problems they personally have not dealt with. These can range from not understanding the amount of energy and time required, not having a motivational touch, or simply life coaching only for money. To succeed in anything, you have to have a love for it—not just a desire to cash in. Let’s take a look at five reasons why coaching businesses fail.

You Aren’t Living It!

Why on Earth would you coach someone on something you don’t—or wouldn’t—do yourself? People can smell a lie a long way. If you want to be the best life coach in the industry, you need to do more than just learn and give your knowledge. You need to start living it! Walk the walk, and lead by example—don’t just lead with words.

You Just Haven’t Mastered It

There are coaches who are pretty good at a lot of different things and are so excited to share their knowledge with their clients, yet fail miserably to differentiate themselves because they are, frankly, a dime a dozen. The best thing you could do as a coach, for your coaching business and your clients, is to pick a maximum of 3 very specific topics to coach on. If you’re a life coach, which specific parts of life will you focus on? The more targeted and focused you are, the more focused your clients will be, and the better results both you and your clients will see. If you’re an expert—be an expert!

It’s Not You… It’s Me

Just because you are able to get people revved up, doesn’t mean you’re bound to be a great coach. In fact, the definition of motivate is to give someone a motive to do something. That does not mean they’ll actually do it. Most coaches can give great strategies. The difference in going from good to great in coaching is getting your clients to actually take action.

Your Own Motives Have Priority

As a business or life coach, it is imperative that you focus on what your coaching clients want and need, NOT what you personally want. Your motives should be their motives. The second you prioritize what you think is important versus what your coaching client thinks is important, you have failed.

A Single Approach Is the Wrong Approach

If you’re not getting through to your coaching clients, it’s not them, it’s you. When you have only one approach, your level of influence will suffer tremendously, and neither you, nor your clients, will see results. Having only one approach is like driving down a dead-end road; it’s unlikely you’ll ever reach your destination. Just because one approach or strategy worked for you before, it does not mean it’ll work every time.

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I Speak…

coachMost people feel fear at some point in their life. When speaking in public, people can find themselves panicking. I hear from these people quite often, and I wanted to put together some tips that would allow people to really get to grips with their fear of public speaking. We all know that it can be terrifying to stand in front of ten, ten thousand, or ten million people and speak—but all it really takes is organization, practice and focus… Let’s take a look at the tips.

 

Organization Is Success

When you organize all of your thoughts and materials, it helps you to become much more relaxed and calm. When you have clear, organized thoughts, it can greatly reduce your speaking anxiety because you can better focus on the one thing at hand—giving a great speech.

The Two P’s—Practice and Prepare

Nothing takes the place of practicing and preparing for your speech. Write out a script of your key points, but don’t speak from it word for word. Prepare for your speech so well that you could answer any possible question thrown at you.

Afraid of Rejection? Don’t Be So Hasty…

“What if my audience hates my speech? What if they boo me off stage?” Try to eliminate all of your fears of rejection. The audience is there to listen to you for a reason.

Focus

When you speak, try to get into a rhythm or a flow. Keep you sentences short and to the point and repeat key points. A short pause in between points can add anticipation for what you are going to say next.

Watch and Learn from Yourself

Pay special attention to:

  • Your facial expressions
  • Your gestures and habits
  • Your body movements
  • How friendly you appear

When you have gentle expressions and a calm demeanor when you speak, you will be more welcoming to your audience.

Record your speech on your phone or video camera. Record yourself giving the talk from beginning to end. Then listen to it or watch it, and make notes on how you could make it better. Some people do not like listening to the sound of their voice on tape, so it is important that you get used to your own voice and speaking style.

Give Your Speech to Another Person

There are plenty of people you can practice on. Be sure to tell the person to be completely honest with you in their critique.

Examples of people you can practice on:

  • Your partner
  • Your close friends
  • Your parents

Speaking directly to another person with whom you feel comfortable will help relax you and give you experience with getting feedback from someone. If they have questions about your speech, it is likely that members of an audience will have the same questions.

There’s Always a Teacher

Find a talented coach or mentor. There are many groups that you can join to learn the art of public speaking. Toastmasters may be the choice for you. It is non-profit and helps people get over their fears by having them practice speaking on subjects over and over.

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I Teach…

once uponThis blog article is about how you can get the most out your life coach. Seeing a Life Coach is like anything in life—the more you put it, the more you will get out. You can’t expect the Life Coach to do all of the work—so how do you turn your sessions into success? Let’s find out…

Keep Your Mind Open

There is no set way to get “there.” Allow your coach to take you to places that you have not considered before. Open yourself up to the possibility that your perspective can be shifted.  A good coach will prod you into places where you may not like to go, but with an open mind, work on trusting the process. The key to Life Coaching is keeping your mind open!

Preparation

Is there something specific going on that you really want to talk about? Is there an experience from the week that you want to share? Do you have questions about the process, or have questions come up for you during the week? Do you need a reminder about a tool that was discussed? The best thing you can do is put pen to paper at some point before the session and make some notes about things that are important to you. This is an excellent way to practice getting your needs met. If you can practice and get good at this with your coach, then you will be able to transfer that skill to other areas of your life.

Be Ready 

Before the session, take a minute to assess your needs. Did you eat this morning? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Does the dog need to go out? The more you can do to create a space for you to work uninterrupted, the more in the flow and in the moment you can be during your session. This is deep work that cannot fully happen when you have distractions around you.

Be Comfortable

Make a warm drink and sit in a comfy spot. You have booked this time to work on the most important thing in your life… YOU. Allow it to be your time by working towards making the most of this time by setting yourself to feel supported and comfortable in your own space.

Be Noteworthy

Get yourself a notebook with a place where you can put the date and make notes throughout the session.  Coaching sessions go by very quickly, and a lot of information comes up. Bring a notebook and pen and allow yourself to jot random words, phrases, and points. You will also be encouraged from time to time to write down specific things that are essential to your journey. Have a book where you can capture this all. This then becomes your resource for the time in between sessions.

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I Speak…

once uponOne of the greatest stresses of public speaking is nervousness. Now, we’ve talked about this before, and I would like to go through some really useful tips for getting over those last minute nerves. Picture this: You are standing backstage, waiting to go on and talk to 20,000 people about writing. Your stomach is churning; your head is pounding. You are scared. What do you do? Well, why don’t you try a few of these ideas…

Push, Push, Push That Door

Before you give your speech, find somewhere where you can be alone for just a few minutes and stand and face a door. Place both hands on the door at about shoulder height and push as hard as you can. After pushing, stand normally and try speaking out loud. See how much more relaxed your voice sounds. Do this before every performance, and you will see a difference.

Tongue-Along

Try sticking your tongue out as far as it will go and repeat a nursery rhyme. This will help open the back of your throat and help you sound more confident.  This should help you in your effort to be a better public speaker.

Breathe, and Breathe, and Breathe

Breathe in through your nose very slowly for a count of five. Then breathe out though your nose for a count of five. Repeat this three times, and you will have significantly lowered your heart rate, so when you start to speak you won’t sound like an express train. This is a beautiful way to help your speaking engagements begin smoothly.

And Squeeze…

Simply clench the muscles in your buttocks. Most clothes will completely mask your actions, and it will help you feel and appear more confident. Then smile. You are ready to give your speech!

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I Speak…

once uponSometimes, even the best public speakers or performers find themselves in the worst possible position. They find themselves failing in front of an expectant audience. This blog post is all about the disasters that can befall a public speaker. Let’s hope these things never happen to you.

Losing Your Mind

At some point in time, you’re going to have a senior moment.  It happens to everyone. As our lives move faster and faster, it’s normal that our brains will occasionally get left behind.  What do you do?  The answer is: Wait.  It will seem like forever to you, but it will be only a few seconds in real time.  So wait it out.  The words will come to you.  Your brain will catch up with your mouth.  Just give it time. Sometimes you just need to be calm, kick back, and smile.

Unhappily Being Heckled

This happens more often than you might think. Some people really enjoy making themselves heard. The natural instinct is to avoid a heckler because the whole experience is unpleasant.  But fight the instinct on this one and do the counter-intuitive thing—stand up to the heckler.

Bad, Bad Technology

If you use technology, it will crash.  Seriously. At some point, it will crash. The answer is to have a version of your presentation ready to go – always – that doesn’t depend on technology.  Be prepared to tell good stories without those colorful slides.  Have a Plan B!

Greedy Speakers

Just as you have a non-tech version of your talk ready to go, you should also have a short version ready to go for the inevitable time when the speaker before you simply won’t stop talking.  That allows you to look like a hero for getting the agenda back on track.  In extraordinary circumstances, you can take your time out of the next part of the agenda, but get the conference organizer both to agree to it and announce it.  Otherwise, it’s your fault, and everyone will hate you for keeping them from their lunch. Don’t continue the greedy behavior of the speaker in front of you—change direction and win.

Audience Expectations

Sometimes, you will find yourself in front of an audience smaller than you expected. Be warm and thank them all for coming—then dive in with all your might. If you get a bigger crowd than you expected, try to get people seated as comfortably as possible and then keep eye contact with as many people as you can. If you are faced with a lot of noise—don’t worry—wait until they quiet down and start with a smile.

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I Write…

medFor many authors, the obvious way to get their book onto shelves as a paperback is by using the CreateSpace service. With numerous pros and cons, CreateSpace has been the market leader for some time now. I thought it would be a good idea for us to take an in-depth look at the platform and see if it could be the way forward for your book project…

The ISBN Issue

CreateSpace offers several options for ISBNs, and the most popular option, by far, is the free ISBN. Amazon will, for no charge, list your book so it can be ordered by libraries and academic institutions. This is part of Expanded Distribution. As ISBNs themselves can be pretty costly, this is a good alternative that will give you the freedom to publish at will.

Need a Barcode?

You don’t need to buy a barcode, which is necessary for printed books, because it is provided for free by CreateSpace. This is another major positive to using CreateSpace.

Looking for a Hardback?

Hardbacks are an important edition for many authors, and although several services offer them—CreateSpace is not one of them. This is one of the major negatives to using the CreateSpace service.

The Price of a Book

Your price per book—the price you pay CreateSpace if you want to buy copies for your own use—is the same for any size book with one hundred or fewer pages. There is, however, no volume discount for buyers. This is both a positive and a negative.

Keywords, Categories and Optimization

You choose a single category for your book in CreateSpace compared to the two you get when you use KDP to release your Kindle book. You have the option to input five keywords. Compared to Kindle, there are fewer SEO options.

Away from Amazon?

Your book will be available on barnesandnoble.com and on some other online stores if you select Expanded Distribution, which is free.

Counting Your Pennies

You can produce a print book for free if you are willing and able to create your own book cover, and templates for those are provided by CreateSpace. The other plus is that you don’t have to buy a printed proof, but most authors will want to see a hard copy before releasing their book to the general public.

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I Teach…

once uponThere are many reasons to seek out a life coach—but before you do, you should know a few facts about life coaching. Many people see it as an opportunity to go through therapy without going to see a therapist; others see it as the answer to all their problems—but there are certain realties you have to realize. Let’s take a look at them…

Focus – Life Coaching Allows You to Focus on Yourself

Many people often leave themselves behind. Life coaching actually puts you first, for perhaps the first time.  Life coaching takes the necessary time with you to discover your true values, goals, and talents, and will help you create a plan to fulfilling them. After all, YOU are important! Repeat that to yourself now—YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

Order – Life Coaching Gives You the Opportunity to Get Your Life in Order

In life coaching, you immediately take action. You stop being a person living on the sidelines, letting your life pass you by. A good life coach helps you understand yourself better and helps you to live a life aligned with your morals, values, and core beliefs.  It is NOT long-term psychotherapy. With support and encouragement, YOU are urged to sit in the driver’s seat in your own life. With your coach as your strongest advocate, YOU decide when you have met your goals. Try it!

Professional – Life Coaching Is Unbiased

When you have a life coach, you get to talk through your struggles with someone who is not going to interrupt you or push you towards what they think you should do. A great life coach would never make judgments or criticize your choices, but instead offers suggestions and give you the space and time to think through your challenges and options. Of course, everything you say to your coach will be kept in total confidence. It’s all about you.

Therapy – Life Coaching Is Not Therapy

Life coaching is never about treating mental illness and working through deeply rooted psychological issues. You should seek professional help in those situations. Therapy is great for people with psychological problems that require intervention with a mental health specialist. Life coaching is an empowering process for normal, healthy people to get help making their lives better, happier, and more fulfilled.

Fun – Yes, Life Coaching Can Be Fun

Expect to laugh a lot during your coaching sessions! Sometimes making change can be more than a little scary, but coaching is actually fun and empowering. It feels great to get things out in the open – so you can get clarity and take action.

Accountability- Life Coaches Hold You Responsible for Yourself

If you’re feeling negative and lacking in motivation, your coach will help you challenge limiting assumptions and beliefs you may have about yourself and the situations you find yourself in.  He or she will help you work through the issues that are preventing you from moving forward and, above all, keep you focused on your goals!

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I Speak…

fearsThe biggest factor holding many would-be public speakers back is fear. Fear is a deciding factor—and this article is all about taming that fear to your advantage. While some readers are conquered by their fear and make grievous mistakes, others can channel their fear and become outstanding public speakers. Here’s how…

Embrace Your Nervousness

All you have to do is admit that you are a little bit nervous speaking to your audience. When you do this, the audience will be more forgiving if your nervousness shows up later on. More importantly, you will feel more relaxed now that they are not expecting a world-class presentation. Imagine their surprise when you give them the best presentation ever despite your nervousness. One of the best ways to allow your audience in on your fear is to joke about it. Try starting your speech with a joke about how nervous you are. It may just be the deciding factor.

Make Mistakes Intentionally

This is another tip I would encourage. The idea is to gain control of your audience. If you can make them laugh and be more interactive with you, your presentation will have that casual feel to it, which will make it memorable. Ultimately, you will find it easier to do. Try it to see if it works for you.

Redefine Your Audience

Redefining your audience generally means changing how you see your audience. Instead of seeing them as lecturers who are evaluating you, maybe you can convince yourself that they are all fellow students who are waiting to present after you. They are all equally nervous, so there is no reason why you should be, too.

Use Visual Aids As Much As You Can

Imagine a presentation with beautiful slide presentations and even more impressive notes given to each of your audience members. Most of the time, their attention will not be on you. They will read through the notes and watch your presentation. This will help a lot as you can then speak to the people who are not looking at you. When they look at you, you just change your focus to other people who are not looking. Giving a speech to people who are not looking at you is always easier. It’s just like taking a Skype call.

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I Teach…

once uponBeing a life coach takes more than just learning from a book. There are skills you will need that you already have, yet you may not even know that you have them. Coaching is a little bit like having a good conversation with a friend. A great coach can have a natural rapport with anyone simply by taking advantage of a few of the skills they already have. Let’s look at those skills…

Be Curious About What Your Client Has to Say

When we speak about listening with curiosity, we’re talking about showing genuine interest in what others are saying to you. All too often we listen without really showing interest. We are impatient and truly show a lack of attentiveness, which in turn hampers constructive conversation. We are too focused on our own agenda. Be genuinely curious. Don’t do all the talking, and keep interruptions to a minimum.  Pace the conversation, and don’t be afraid to keep it focused and on target. Be involved and your client will be involved, too.

Take It All In

Sometimes you can project all the necessary nonverbal cues to give the other person a sense that you’re listening with curiosity, but you could still be failing to take in any information. While projecting a sense of curiosity, don’t forget to absorb and register what is actually being said. You need to hear the words, read the gestures, and take in the thoughts, ideas, and emotions of the other party. To take in what you hear, you need to pace the conversation and put yourself in the shoes of the other party. If you aren’t listening—you aren’t coaching.

Reflection Is Key

Reflecting back with accuracy shows the person you’re really listening and confirms that you have digested the right information. It also allows the person to hear back what he or she has said and to check within him or herself: Is it exactly what he or she meant to say? Try to take notes, and refer back to them often. Don’t be afraid to ask your client to delve deeper into what they’ve said. Try to get to the root of their issues.

Ask Questions…

Asking questions extends the conversation and allows for a more productive dialogue. Ask open-ended questions that allow more exploration to take place. By asking open ended questions, you give your protégés an opportunity to find answers within themselves. When someone actually discovers the answers for themselves, it empowers them. When you question for exploration, you reinforce in their minds that you believe in them, and that their opinions, knowledge, and experience are worthwhile. You build their confidence. A true coach will always look to build the confidence of their client.

Don’t Be Afraid to Give Back

Feedback is often thought of as being inherently critical, but that need not be the case. Successful coaches are careful and discriminating about how they employ feedback, knowing that poor or incomplete feedback could stifle their protégés or even cause feelings of inadequacy in them. The successful coach avoids the common mistake of using feedback as a vehicle for asserting expertise. Unclear, arrogant, or dismissive feedback can drive your protégés into defensiveness and destroy the trust so critical to your relationship. When providing feedback, coaches should strive to make it clear, make it relevant, make it helpful, and make it positive. Try to always end on a positive note.

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