Tag Archives: Self Esteem

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I Speak…

coach
We’ve been talking about speeches for some time now. You may have a pretty strong understanding of how to make your speech really work. This week, we are going to look at the delivery of your speech. You’ve written it, you’ve got a great closer… but you are nervous about delivery. How can you really push your point across and make yourself heard?

Keep It Real

If there’s one rule, it’s this one: Try to be as authentic as possible.  It’s well known that people can hear it in your voice when you are “real,” and they will love you for it. If you come across as fake, you will lose them.

Keep Learning

Regardless of how many times you’ve made a speech or spoken in public, there is always room for vast improvement. It’s great that you’ve got public speaking experience, but don’t become over confident and think that you can just turn up and present without doing your homework! You might get away with it a couple of times, but eventually you will be caught out.

Pack THAT power!

Your opening statement needs to be powerful. You need to hook those people.  Don’t be afraid to shock your audience, make your audience laugh or hook them with a story that really gets them ready to hear your point. Don’t just open with banalities… Go on the attack and make yourself heard.

Arrangement Is the KEY

Arrange your presentation and make it easy to digest, but keep in mind that you want to make your point. If you can tie everything back to the points you want to make, you will be doing well!

Slow Down… Don’t Move Too Fast

One of the most common faux pas people make when giving a speech, especially if they are new to public speaking, is they rush through their presentation. You need to slow down so that people can take on board what you are saying. If in doubt, record yourself and play it back. If you are speaking faster than the anchor person on the news, you know it’s too fast. Pace yourself to success.

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I Teach…

fear11As a follow up article to last week’s discussion about the importance of communication, I’d like mention a few more thoughts. These are proven techniques to increase your communication skills. If you are having trouble connecting with your coaching clients, or having trouble making them understand what you are saying, you may want to give these tips a chance. As a great communicator, it’s important for you to be able to listen and show your client how much you value what they are telling you. It’s important to maintain eye contact. It’s also important for them to feel comfortable with you. Let’s work through the list.

Share, Express and Love

Instead of jumping right in to your meeting, why don’t you try to express your thanks for the other individual’s time? Time is an extremely precious resource, and it important to be respectful and considerate of that. Also, complement or recognize any positive contribution they are making. Appreciation and praise can go a long way towards building good rapport.

Connect and Appeal

Connect on a personal level if possible. Look for places where interests overlap. Even in a professional situation, there may be some personal interests in common: hobbies, sports, children, music, career choices. Take care to avoid controversial topics like politics or religious beliefs. A real sense of connection makes a difference in the tone and outcome of the current conversation and most likely future communications, as well.

Be Exuberant… Be Positive

Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial to productive communications. Be constructive rather than negative or complaining. People shut down, effectively ending any real communication when they feel attacked or criticized. Be encouraging and kind, even when expressing concerns or displeasure.

Just Focus

It’s important to figure out what result you are after before you start any kind of dialogue. Knowing your objective helps you to direct the conversation and to remain on point. What are you hoping to accomplish? Are you trying to give help, resolve a conflict, or collaborate on a project or issue? Are you seeking advice or trying to influence behavior? Your desired outcome helps to determine the flow of communication.

Don’t Talk All the Time… Listen All the Time

Eye contact is crucial when you are meeting someone face-to-face. Try to be polite and, whatever you do, don’t interrupt. No one likes being interrupted, and though it’s natural to want to rush in to make your point, it’s very disrespectful of the other person’s thoughts. Try to understand the other person’s perspective. Maintain an open mind.

Do They Understand?

Try to confirm that you have a mutual understanding of what’s being communicated. We often think that we’ve reached a resolution and come to an understanding, only to find out that we have completely misunderstood the other person’s thoughts. Ask for input and feedback. This not only confirms that you have successfully communicated, it also makes the other person feel that they have been heard and understood.

Always try to end your communication in a friendly manner. Remember to reiterate your thanks and try to leave the other individual feeling understood and valued. Productive communication involves respect, consideration, awareness, and clarity. It is possible to be both direct and kind and still get the results you want.

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I Write…

writingWhy is it really important to write content? I mean, how many business transactions really take place because of content? These are questions that are often asked. Some believe that the overall effects of content are overexaggerated, but as a small business, can you afford to miss a crucial opportunity to connect with your audience? I don’t think so. However, this does a raise an important question. How do people react to content?

Write You Off

If your content is seen as having no hook or interest point to the customer, it’s likely to be marked as spam. Posting something that may be assessed as “spam” is the fastest way to lose credibility.

Simply Ignore

The customer may just make the assessment that they won’t lose much by reading it. In this case, the reader has not written you off yet, but if you consistently create content that people skip, you may find yourself written off.

Look It Over

The customer thinks there are only a few parts that are of relevance and wants to get right to the core of the content and skip the rest. This is where you have the opportunity to change their mind.

Wait… I Should Read This

The reader is engaged by the article and actually stops to think about it. What does it mean to them professionally? Personally? You have hit a nerve!

Sharing IS Caring

The customer may find your content interesting enough to spread it to anyone and everyone via social media, reblogging or via email.

Sign Me Up

This is the end goal. The customer finds great value in what you have to say and wants to build a relationship. They are open, willing and ready to be a part of your world.

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I Teach…

once uponYou’ve gained clients and you have a full meeting book, but you find that your clients are too on edge to be comfortable and allow themselves to develop. This blog post is all about building a relationship with your client and getting them to open to you. If you can’t connect with your client, you won’t be able to do your job. So when you meet a client and start a meeting, why don’t you try some of these top tips…

Gentle Sounds

Music can help your clients feel relaxed. Try slow, relaxing, gentle music and allow the mood to do its job. If your client is relaxed, you will have them talking about the real issues in no time at all. The right music puts people into a great mood—and that’s your first goal.

Be the Host with the Most

Offer your client a coffee or a soft beverage. Nothing alcoholic. You’ll find that the client will feel more important and will start to work with you. Be a good host to get the most from your clientele!

Be Modern, Be Comfortable

A fan may help relax a client and help to keep them cool and calm.  Make sure the room is warm first.  The most important thing you can do is keep your client comfortable. If they are too hot, their mind won’t be on the task at hand; same if they’re cold.

Keep the Conversation Going 

Chat about your client – the upcoming wedding, the kids, the job. People tend to ease up when the conversation is about them. Make everything about your client.

Reassure

You will do well to reassure your clients that they are doing a great job during the entire coaching session. You want to make sure you are reassuring them as much as possible towards the start when they will be the most nervous.

Fake It ’Til You Make It

If you’re fairly new at coaching and you’re scared of appearing unprofessional—just fake it. The more comfortable you are, the more at ease your clients will be. Never give the impression that you don’t know what you are doing.

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I Speak…

coachWe have been talking about public speaking over the last few weeks. We have discussed how to learn about your audience, how to create a rapport—but this week, I’d like to mention a few things that you should try to avoid. If you are planning to make a public speech, try to avoid falling into these tar pits.

“Can everyone hear me out there?”

Inexperienced speakers often make one big mistake. They walk out in front of their audience, tap their microphone and shout into it and ask if the people in the back of the room can hear them. If you’re speaking at a larger conference, there’s a good chance that someone has already checked the audio. It’s always a good idea to check it before you go on stage.

“Are you there? I can’t see you….”

When you’re on stage, the lights can be nearly blinding. But no one needs to know you can’t see anyone in the audience. Simply speak into the dark and give the best presentation you can. In fact, it might be better for you to forget that anyone is out there. Just try to give the audience the impression of your interest—look at them directly and… smile!

“Let me read my presentation to you!”

A presentation full of words is BORING. Use pictures, short phrases and bullet points. Try not to read your slides to the audience. That’s what their eyes are for. Everyone came to see you speak, to share your ideas, not read aloud. Any visuals or props you choose to bring along should only serve to enhance your speech. You’re the speaker—speak. Don’t read!

“I’m sorry… I didn’t prepare…”

Try not to start your presentation with an excuse like this. The people listening to your presentation are expecting you to do your best, regardless of how you feel or how much time you’ve had to prepare. If you don’t have a lot of time to practice, choose a topic that’s familiar to you. If you don’t feel well, keep calm and stay hydrated. Just get out there and entertain, educate and be a public speaker.

“Ermmmmmm…”

Try to avoid conversation breakers such as “um,” “erm,” “uh,” “you know,” and “like.” Using these words too often takes away from the effectiveness of your presentation. They are also distracting and make you sound unsure about what you’re going to say next. Try pausing if you must think of the right word. Just be calm, collected and don’t rush it. Rushing will cause you to have to use filler.

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I Teach…

once uponFor those of us who are new to coaching, this blog article is all about connecting with your customer. Sometimes it’s easy to build a relationship, sometimes it’s hard— but it is a crucial part of your work. You must be able to connect with the people who hire you. Let’s look at some steps that will help you build up your clients. It’s not as hard as you may think.

Warn Them, Inform Them… Let Them Know What to Expect

When you meet with a client for the first time, it would be advisable to explain to them what they’re expected to be able to do. Give them some notice. You can turn an advance warning into a relationship-building opportunity. Ask them about things they’ve wanted to do, what they’ve been trying to achieve, and actually show interest in your clients.

Take Responsibility

You’ve made an error? Turned up late to a meeting? Accepting full responsibility, while recognizing the consequences of the error, shows that you’re prepared to take it like a grown-up. People respect that.

Tone Down Your Voice When Giving Bad News

Literally. Lower the tone of your voice and your rate of speaking. Generally, when people get excited or emotional about ideas they tend to raise their voice pitch and pace. When you’re giving bad news or feedback that could be construed negatively or critically, you want to give the impression that you are thinking clearly, logically and reasonably – not emotionally – and certainly not irrationally.

ALWAYS Begin with the Good News

When you have both good news and bad, start with the good. When people hear bad news, they have an internal stress reaction that causes them to tune-out other information. Try to ensure that the client fully comprehends and appreciates the entire message by making sure you give the good news first. Always give them something to feel good about.

Express Those Negatives as Positives

Rather than saying, “We can’t meet until Tuesday,” instead try, “We can meet up as soon as Tuesday.” It’s the same information, but wording it positively enhances your message. It makes the client feel important.

Try to Remind Them of the Bigger Picture

Sometimes clients don’t realize that the ‘bad news’ is in their own best interest. Try to always frame things inside the bigger picture. Yes, this is negative today—but how does it change the plan positively? Don’t let them go away feeling as though they failed.

Follow-up! Always Follow-up!

With some clients, a well-timed phone call after bad news goes a long way in proving to the client that you’ve gone the extra mile. “I just wanted to check with you to see how things are going with that discussion we had…” That raises the perceived value of your service without spending more money. Try it. People like to feel important.

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I Write…

coachWhen it comes to writing content, there are hundreds of avenues you can take. From lists to articles about news events; from current issues to product reviews, the world is your oyster. But whatever you do, you would be well advised to follow some of the rules of content writing. Let’s take a look at this list and see what you can do with your content.

Make Your Content Valuable and Relevant

When internet users type a topic into a search box on any search engine, they expect the search engine results to provide information relevant to their search. If they click on your site and find irrelevant or outdated information, they will bounce from your site to the next result to find what they need.

Keep Your Content Concise

There is no need to belabor your point. Website visitors are skimmers and prefer to quickly review information. Don’t tie them down with reels and reels of information.

Keep on the Right Track

Visitors usually search very specifically and become frustrated if forced to work through a lot of information to find what they are looking for. If you have a very broad topic, consider breaking your content down and introducing one topic per paragraph so your readers can find specific information easily. You can also add links within your page content to related topics on other pages of your site rather than trying to include all your information on a single page. This will make your website infinitely more user-friendly.

Check and Recheck for Grammar and Spelling Errors

Nothing says unprofessional like a website full of spelling or grammatical errors. After you are finished copywriting, walk away from the content and come back later with fresh eyes. You may notice errors that might have otherwise been overlooked.

Use the Tried and Tested Method

Many bloggers and content writers swear by using the same technique. Put your conclusions at the beginning of your page content and work backwards from there. This puts your most important information front and center.

Write for Your Audience

You have probably heard of the importance of making your website content search engine friendly by using keywords, links, and other SEO techniques. This is important, but so is making your content readable and engaging for the humans visiting your site. After all, your goal is to convert visitors into customers. Use a conversational tone to connect with your audience, and avoid using too much fluff and marketing language.

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I Teach…

coachFor those of you who are wondering about the possibility of working with a coach, I’d like to talk a little about the ways a life coach can actually add to your life and encourage change for the better. I think we’ve talked a lot about reasons for getting a coach, and finding the right coach—but today this is all about coaches and their abilities. For me, a coach has to be someone who has experience, expertise, wisdom and the ability to listen. For you, the coach may be someone who gives you confidence or helps you discover new things about yourself. Let’s take a good look at coaches…

Finding Your True Purpose

Life coaches know that finding one’s purpose isn’t something that requires meditating for a few years on a mountaintop. That’s just unrealistic. A good life coach knows that an individual’s true purpose comes from a special combination of their hidden talents and passions. A good life coach will help you uncover those talents and passions that will then reveal to you your true purpose in life.

Motivating YOU

Sometimes, when we least expect it, life punches us in the face. We lose our jobs, we lose a loved one, we fall into old bad habits, we sink into depression, and so on. And if left alone, it could take years – if ever – to get back to our old awesome selves again. A quality coach will help us move past these obstacles and learn from them.

Building Your Confidence

Whatever it is you do in life, you’ll do it better and with more enjoyment when you’re confident. The opposite is also true – even the simplest tasks can be outright terrifying when you don’t have the confidence you need. Life coaches understand this better than anyone else.

Developing Your Spirituality

As happiness and success starts flowing into your life, you may find yourself at a very interesting crossroads. While you are happy with how amazing your life has become so far, there’s still something, or several things, missing. These ‘missing’ pieces are why even the seemingly most successful people in the world still turn to life coaches for guidance. Everyone needs to heal, grow and develop.

Guidance, Guidance, Guidance

Have you ever read or heard news of superstar athletes, famous politicians, and influential politicians who make careless decisions that ruin their careers? That’s the danger of success – it can take you places where your character can keep up with you.

Your life coach may keep you from going too fast. They will keep you accountable both to your life plan and to your deepest values. That way, as your success grows, your character will grow in stride with it.

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I Teach…

fear11We’ve discussed how coaches can succeed, but I’d like to talk a little today about how both you and your coach can fail. There are many reasons for a failure to happen—and they often do—but why? Let’s find out…

Both Parties Have to Want It

All too often, coaches are assigned to people who don’t think they need help or don’t want help. Imagine being approached after delivering a speech and being told by that person that your boss thinks you need a coach to help with your presentations. The immediate reaction of most people would be, “I don’t need help. I’m doing just fine.”

For coaching to be truly successful, the person receiving the coaching must want it. Otherwise, it will be like dragging a horse behind you with one hand tied behind your back. Eventually, you may succeed, but not without a series of constant uphill battles.

When Your Coach Shouldn’t Be Coaching

Anyone can call himself or herself a coach. But that doesn’t mean they have the expertise or the experience to improve your condition. Before engaging the services of a coach, ask them to provide specific examples of how they have helped people with similar objectives to yours achieve their full potential. Ask questions regarding their background, and don’t be afraid to probe deeply. There are lots of coaches who have no business coaching. Make sure yours doesn’t fall into this category.

Coaching in Perpetuity

An effective coach works with their clients to set objectives and measurements of success before the engagement begins. The coach gets the job done within an agreed upon time period and disengages when their work is done. Compare this to the model where a coach comes in to work on a specific issue and never leaves the organization. A good coach knows when his work is done and encourages their clients to soar on their own.

You Have a Mentor, but Not a Coach

Lots of people think they have coaches when in fact they have mentors. Ask one hundred people to explain the difference between a coach and a mentor, and you will most likely get a hundred different answers. Most people would agree, however, that there is a difference. Before you start looking around for a coach, you must determine what specifically you are looking to gain from this type of relationship. Once you’ve answered this question, you’ll know whether your needs are best served by a mentor or a coach.

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I Speak…

once uponSometimes, even the best public speakers or performers find themselves in the worst possible position. They find themselves failing in front of an expectant audience. This blog post is all about the disasters that can befall a public speaker. Let’s hope these things never happen to you.

Losing Your Mind

At some point in time, you’re going to have a senior moment.  It happens to everyone. As our lives move faster and faster, it’s normal that our brains will occasionally get left behind.  What do you do?  The answer is: Wait.  It will seem like forever to you, but it will be only a few seconds in real time.  So wait it out.  The words will come to you.  Your brain will catch up with your mouth.  Just give it time. Sometimes you just need to be calm, kick back, and smile.

Unhappily Being Heckled

This happens more often than you might think. Some people really enjoy making themselves heard. The natural instinct is to avoid a heckler because the whole experience is unpleasant.  But fight the instinct on this one and do the counter-intuitive thing—stand up to the heckler.

Bad, Bad Technology

If you use technology, it will crash.  Seriously. At some point, it will crash. The answer is to have a version of your presentation ready to go – always – that doesn’t depend on technology.  Be prepared to tell good stories without those colorful slides.  Have a Plan B!

Greedy Speakers

Just as you have a non-tech version of your talk ready to go, you should also have a short version ready to go for the inevitable time when the speaker before you simply won’t stop talking.  That allows you to look like a hero for getting the agenda back on track.  In extraordinary circumstances, you can take your time out of the next part of the agenda, but get the conference organizer both to agree to it and announce it.  Otherwise, it’s your fault, and everyone will hate you for keeping them from their lunch. Don’t continue the greedy behavior of the speaker in front of you—change direction and win.

Audience Expectations

Sometimes, you will find yourself in front of an audience smaller than you expected. Be warm and thank them all for coming—then dive in with all your might. If you get a bigger crowd than you expected, try to get people seated as comfortably as possible and then keep eye contact with as many people as you can. If you are faced with a lot of noise—don’t worry—wait until they quiet down and start with a smile.

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