Posted on Friday, November 25, 2016

I Teach…

fear11 Last week, we discussed ways to communicate. This week, I’d like to look at the reasons why people fail to communicate correctly. Sometimes, even with all the will in the world, we cannot make ourselves connect with others. It may be our problem—or their problem—but it is a problem. This blog article is about discovery. Discovering why people fail to communicate is crucial to becoming a great communicator. Let’s look failure straight in the face and learn from it.

Compromise Is KEY

If one party is unwilling to budge on an issue, no progress can be made; when the other party senses this stubbornness, they’ll immediately stop trying to make their case. Compromise isn’t an admission of defeat — it’s a way of trying to maximize the payoffs between two parties, and if you ignore that, you’ll have only yourself to blame when the conversation stops.

Ultimately, successful conversations are dependent on two people willing to reach a mutually satisfying conclusion.

Didn’t Anyone Listen?

Too many people focus on the speaking part of a conversation; after all, that’s the part you can control. But it’s far more important to be a good listener. Being a good listener first demonstrates that you’re invested in the conversation and makes the other person feel welcome to share his or her thoughts.

Listening prevents interruption and other habits that can interfere with the natural pattern of conversation and provides a stable ground for mutual communication. Finally, and most importantly, listening allows you to hear and understand what the other party needs, giving you context and direction for your response. Without that initial effort, the conversation will never go anywhere.

Where’s the Respect?

When we don’t get respect from people around us, we may feel unsatisfied and withdraw from the situation. Showing respect in conversation is a prerequisite to having a healthy exchange, and even modest or subtle signs of disrespect can throw off that pattern.

Obvious signs of disrespect include insulting or mocking the other party or belittling what they have to say. Subtler signs of disrespect include interruption or changing the subject before it resolves. Aim to show more respect throughout your conversation, even if you aren’t doing anything intentionally disrespectful.

Failure to Communicate in Conversation

Sometimes, the simplest explanation for a failure in conversation is the most accurate. If one party fails to express things in clear and understandable terms, it stands to reason that the other party won’t have any idea what’s going on.

Honesty

Communication can also fail when one party refuses to express what they’re feeling or thinking honestly. It can be hard to be honest when you’re under pressure, or if you have a shy personality type. For example, when you’re trying to make a good impression at work, you may second guess the value of your thoughts. However, honest expression is vital if you want the conversation to progress.

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Posted on Wednesday, November 9, 2016

I Speak…

I would like to talk today about structuring a speech. It’s important to put together the right speech, in the right way. In this blog article, I describe five structures. I hope you take them and run with them. These five structures should cover most of the situations in which you find yourself speaking. Each of these structures can be built to fit your purpose. Let’s look at them.

Problem-Solution Works In Your Favor

Persuasion. That’s why you are giving a speech. Begin by framing the problem. Then go as deeply as you dare into the problem, making both intellectual and emotional arguments for the severity of the problem. Then go for it! Give the people your solution!

Going Through the Motions

If the subject has strong arguments on all sides of the issue, you may want to use this technique. Explain the problem, and then go through the possible solutions and thoughts of others. Try to give people as much information as you can and then go through all the arguments for solutions as carefully as you can. Give credit, show that you take all sides of the problem and all solutions seriously, then give people your own solution. This will give you credibility and people will listen to your argument with more care.

Tell the Story…

Yes, we are all interested in your new idea and your new product. But why don’t you tell us about it in an interesting way? Try to begin by describing the basic situation, giving only the relevant detail. Introduce a problem. A rival business? A problem in your sector? Then give people the resolution they truly want. Resolve the crisis and become the hero.

Stay in Order

Some hate chronological, some love it. But I think it’s best to start at the end of something. The result. Did you sell 8 million dollars’ worth of product? How did that feel? It must have felt good. Then go to the beginning and explain the situation you were in to start with. Then tell the story in order and bring people back to the success you ended with. This way you have “WOWED” your audience and showed them your path. It’s a winning speech strategy.

Demonstrate Like a Pro

Some businesspeople can do this better than anyone else. It’s salesmanship. Start with the reason. Why is this product or idea important? Why do people need it? What does it solve? Demo the idea and give people a reason to really root for it. Is it cool? Is it something that will save lives? Hint at the future and leave people wanting more.

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Posted on Wednesday, October 19, 2016

I Speak…

Getting to actually know your audience is a crucial part of giving a presentation. This blog article is all about actually knowing the audience you are going to talk to. Sincerity is one of your biggest selling tools. Being sincere will go a long way towards warming your audience to your presentation. But how can you be sincere if you don’t know your audience? Why don’t we find out?

Ask, Ask and Ask Again

The more you know about your audience, the better your presentation will be. A good public speaker will ask questions. Before you even get on the stage, you should meet with your demographic and find out about them. What would you like to know? How would you like to hear it? What would be crucial to you? Then you need to actually research the presentation area itself. How big is the room? How is it laid out? You need intel, and that should be your first priority. Know, ask and find out everything you can before you set up a presentation.

Let’s Get Personal, Personal!

If you can, you should try meeting your audience before the presentation. Who put the event together? Who is the boss? Who is the chairman? Find out and befriend these people. Once you have these people on side, the others will be a piece of cake. If you can connect with the decision makers, they will give you legitimacy and will help you create a relationship with the group as a whole.

Engage!

From the start, you should be looking to engage with your audience. Some audiences might enjoy plays on words, topical humor, political nuances, even raunchiness. A series of great questions may be the way to engage your audience. You need to be ready to actually get your hands dirty and engage with those people waiting to hear you talk.

Know, Know, Know Your Audience and What They Know

You are the expert on your subject. But how much does your audience know? This is a critical question that can make or break a presentation. No matter how slick and together you are, if you talk over everyone’s head, they’ll be baffled, not enthralled. On the other hand, if the audience is up to speed, they may find that your presentation is less than engaging.

Say “NO” to Being a Diva

No one likes a selfish speaker, and nothing derails a good presentation faster than a presenter who is more interested in presenting themselves than their subject. You must be authoritative and confident when you step in front of a group of peers, but you must never be cocky or over-confident. Focus on the material, not yourself, and you’ll go far!

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Posted on Friday, April 15, 2016

Publishing Your Book: Covers: Part Nine

fear1 After writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

This week we are going to look at getting your paperback onto the market. In the modern publishing world, it has become common for authors to forget all about paperbacks—but whatever form of publishing you take, the good, old-fashioned paperback will be available to you. Let’s take a look at two of the major platforms.

Createspace

Createspace is actually the easiest platform you can use to get paperbacks onto the market for free. All you need to do is carefully look at their formatting guidelines and follow their cover design rules. It is possible to upload your book to Createspace within a few hours and have it on the market 12 hours later. The book will be made available on Amazon worldwide, and the quality of Createspace books rates well. Createspace also take care of ISBNs and barcodes, so you won’t need to buy them separately. It is possible to print picture books using Createspace, and through creative formatting, you can find a template on Createspace to fit almost any style of book you can think of.

IngramSpark

A more difficult platform than Createspace, IngramSpark allows you to upload your book, and for a fee, you can make it available for purchase through a multitude of platforms. Ingram is one of the easiest of the professional book platforms—but people new to it may want to track down a formatting expert to help them upload their book. With IngramSpark, you will need to purchase your own ISBN and your own barcode. Books cannot be published without them. You can do a variety of books through Ingramspark including picture books, cook books, and their image print quality is extremely high. One of the major downsides to Ingram is that you will need to pay a fee each time you re-upload the book, so it is advisable for you to carefully check your book before you upload it so you don’t incur more fees than necessary.

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Posted on Friday, April 1, 2016

Publishing Your Book: Amazon Free Giveaways: Part Seven

once upon After writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

One of the basic things you can do to raise awareness of your book on Amazon is to set up a free giveaway through the KDP system. This is an opt-in system that you can choose to join. KDP allows you five days per enrolment period. You can use those five days together or separately; and during each day of free giveaway, your book will be available for people to download for free from Amazon. It’s pretty simple, eh? Well not entirely. There are still problems, the chief one being that you still need to drive traffic to the Amazon page and encourage people to download the book.

The upside to this is that if the promotion is done properly, you will get a huge dose of publicity and a run of strong paid sales. These paid sales will drive your rankings and will turn into more sales. It takes some time to set up a successful giveaway—but it can pay off in a big way.

Free Doesn’t Mean Desirable

There are thousands of books available for free download every single month. Just because you have your book available for free, it doesn’t mean that thousands of people will automatically download it. You have to ask yourself a few questions. The first is: Does my book have an audience? The second is: Where are the people who like my book spending their time online? The third is: How am I going to reach that audience? Don’t just rely on a book being free to drive interest—try to actually seek out your audience and present them with the opportunity to download your book.

Using Freebooksy and Other Free Book Mailing Lists

There are a lot of aids to help you drive your book to a bigger audience. One of the biggest is a mailing list called Freebooksy. This is a large mailing list that goes out to readers via email. You can get your book placed on the list, if you meet their criteria, and you will find that their subscribers will start downloading your book. There are other services like this—Bookbub, etc. that perform the same job.

Rankings

Being the number one free downloaded book doesn’t mean you will necessarily become the number one paid book. It’s easier to gain a number one when the book is free, but you may find it more of a struggle to reach the paid number one position. Don’t be concerned when your free giveaway ends and you go back into the paid rankings—you may be ranked far lower—but the chances are that your ranking will climb due to the publicity you’ve received from the free giveaway.

Banners

Some authors like to add a banner to the front of their book cover. The banner can draw attention to the fact the book is free, or will be free, and people who see the book on Amazon will see the banner. Little techniques like this can really help boost your free giveaway and draw attention to your book.

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Posted on Wednesday, March 30, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday. How do you feel today, friend?

fear11 “Knowing that you are thriving, achieving, loving and lasting is what keeps me going!

Have you ever wondered why some people prosper, and some just never seem to make their goals reality? I think everyone has, but the truth is that it really doesn’t matter. Some of us have an easy road to success—and others have to work at it. But all success should be celebrated and congratulated because the success of one human being means that our success is just as achievable.

Think for a second about the people you meet in your everyday life. Don’t you sometimes meet negative folk who just seem to tear others down? What do you think makes them so unhappy? Is their own lack of self-achievement really that painful? Then sometimes you meet people who are vibrant, happy, optimistic and open to achievement. How different can two groups of people be? Very different. But the question is: Who are you?

Are you the negative hater of achievement, or are you the happy-go-lucky, lover of life? One of these paths will lead you to your goals. The other will destroy your dreams and make you a slave to misery. Maybe today is the day to choose which way you are going to go.

Love…

A super-successful person loves people. He/she can spend hours around people and can overlook the problems that people put in their way. Love is such a jaded word today—but a truly successful person loves everyone.

Desire

What do you truly want from life? That’s the biggest question you can ask yourself. What do you desire? How can you make that desire a reality? How can the way you treat others better your life? How can helping others reach their desired goal in life help yourself? These are questions to ponder on your way through life. Will helping others help you? A large percentage of successful people would say that it will.

Forget Everything You Know

Sometimes the pre-programming we all have makes us angry, disappointed, jaded. Sometimes we just need to forget all that we know and relearn how to live, love and work. Sometimes all it takes is a casual reminder to yourself to forget the old ways—learn the new ways. Embrace positivity.

Life Is Always Fun

Every single day, we all go through changes, problems and journeys that change the way we look at the world around us. Sometimes all we need to realize is that the world we live in is controlled by us. We control and experience every single kind of situation. Have you ever considered trying to just spend your day marvelling at the things that go on around you? Try it—you will be amazed.

Forget Worry

Worry is the root of all evil. Worrying about losing your job, losing your house, losing your wife, losing your husband. Worry is all the things that hold us back. Try to forget all of the things that make you upset, tired or that drain your energy. Try to focus on all of the good that happens every single day. Because every single day something good DOES happen to you! You can bet your life on it.

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Posted on Wednesday, March 23, 2016

It’s Warrior Wednesday, and You Make Your Own Music

“The rhythm of life beats every single day… can’t you just feel it?”

Have you ever had a day where things just seem to work so well you can’t believe your luck? That’s the rhythm of life, and that rhythm is beating every single day—it’s just that on certain days it beats louder—and clearer—than on others. When it’s at its loudest, it will propel you through your day and allow you to meet objectives with ease.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could feed off the rhythm of life every single day? Can you imagine how unstoppable you would be? You would be like a human cannonball shooting through your days, making achievement after achievement count, and having the world hanging from your every word. The way many people tap into this rhythm is through meditation. So this week, I am going to share a meditation with you that may very well help you tap into that magic rhythm.

Choose your mantra

A mantra is a word or phrase that you silently repeat to yourself during meditation. The purpose of the mantra is to give you something to put your attention on other than your thoughts. You may use any phrase you like.

Find a comfortable place to sit

It’s best to find a quiet location where you won’t be disturbed. There is no need to sit cross-legged on the floor unless that is comfortable for you. You can sit on a chair or sofa or on the floor with your back against a wall. You may support yourself with cushions, pillows or blankets. The goal is to sit as upright as possible while still remaining comfortable.

Close your eyes

Once your eyes are closed, you can begin your meditation. Simply start by taking some deep breaths. Try taking a few “cleansing breaths” by inhaling slowly through your nose and then exhaling out your mouth. After a few cleansing breaths, continue to breathe at a normal, relaxed pace through your nose with your lips closed.

Slipping into your meditation

Allow yourself to slip into your meditation by repeating your mantra silently to yourself without moving your tongue or lips. The repetition of your mantra is always relaxed. The mantra does not need to correlate with the breath, though some people prefer to do so. As your meditation continues, allow the breath to fall away into its own rhythm. The repetition of your mantra should be next to effortless. Sometimes it is helpful to imagine that rather than repeating the mantra to yourself, you are actually listening to it being whispered in your ear.

No need to clear your mind

You will inevitably find that you drift away from the mantra. It is human nature for the mind to wander. Just allow your mind to go wherever it wishes, and find the rhythm of life. The further you get into your meditation, the more ideas will spring out at you; and as the ideas flow, you will hopefully start to feel rejuvenated and excited about the future.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Posted on Friday, March 11, 2016

Publishing Your Book: Platforms: Part Four

fear11 After writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

There are a few things to consider before pressing that “publish” button. That’s what we are going to talk about this week. The last minute problems that crop up, or get forgotten, as writers rush to get their book onto the market. For example, how often do you think about keywords? Categories? How about author name? These might seem like easy things now—but authors all around the world have forgotten to fill in the metadata before they hit the publish button—and those authors have been cramped by these problems throughout their book publishing run.

Keywords

These seem like gobbledygook, meaningless things when you first see a section to select keywords. What is a keyword? Well, take a major publishing platform like Kindle, and you will see that there is space for seven keywords. These keywords are how readers find your book. Many authors just overlook this spot on the page and don’t fill them in. That would be a mistake. Take some time, think about what search terms people will be using to search for your book. Is it a Western? A horror novel? A book about bamboo sticks? What is it? Fill in the space with words that will help you sell books.

Categories

This is a crucially overlooked part of the publication of a book. People tend to find the biggest category that applies to their book, and then just add it to the metadata. But normally, you get to pick two categories. Spend some time going around Amazon and looking at the different category opportunities out there. Look to see where similar books to yours have been placed. It’s a good idea to note that the smaller categories will give you more exposure. Why? Because it will take you less sales to get to number one in a small category, and then once you’ve hit number one, the momentum of being at number one will hopefully keep you there.

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Posted on Monday, January 11, 2016

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, Chimes In!

I woke up to the sad news of David Bowie…Dies at 69! Understanding how his family may be feeling as I had just lost a brother barely 6 days ago, my first inclination was to find out what legacy he left behind. While many may be stuck on how he died, I have a different view about it. I shared this on my periscope broadcast today (CLICK HERE).

Many who follow me on periscope (@PrincessinSub) and BLABTV (www.blab.im/PrincessinSub) know how passionate I am on the importance of writing our Legacy Statement and allowing that legacy statement to point us to our true calling or passion or life purpose, as you may call it. David Bowie exemplified that.

photo by_Adam-Bielawski

Here is why:
(1). Every media outlet I turned to this morning said one great thing about his legacy: that he was “a master re-inventor and a compassionate business man.” This is a legacy his family should be incredibly proud of. It was amazing that not many talked about how much he made but more on the lives he impacted while he was with us. This is a legacy worth celebrating for generations to come.
(2). Another media outlet talked about the fact that he was someone who tried things and when it didn’t work, he knew when to let go, then re-invent his life purpose. Because he was great at it, his music cut across generations. While many artists in his generation may have faded away, he remained known. He was also a family man, who kept his family as private as he could.
(3). Once he re-engineered his life purpose, he worked at it. As a matter of fact, David Bowe’s last music was released last week, few days before he turned 69.

Here is a question for you today, if you took your last breath today, what would your legacy be?

Live Life Full, Leave It Empty

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Posted on Wednesday, October 28, 2015

It’s Warrior Wednesday: …If Only He Came Soon….

TODAY’S FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.

Have you ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and in disarray about a situation in your life…. where you wished and thought, if only God had intervened soon enough, your loved one would not have died? If Only God had intervened soon enough, the business or dream you were trying to make happen would not have collapsed? If Only, He had come soon enough, things would not have turned out the way it did.

“Lord if only…Lord if only… Lord if Only!”

Many are afraid to admit this but there have been times in my life where I just didn’t understand the initial outcome of a promise I knew God had deposited into my life, or why I put so much work into something or someone and it turns sour when I was sure it was God who’d asked me to do that or forge that relationship.

TODAY’S SPIRITUAL EXPLORATION:
Join me in exploring some scriptural verses today to help ease our minds:
John 11:39 New International Version(NIV) John 11: 1-45
³⁹“Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Imagine a loved one gravely ill; your family members prayed and fasted and at the end of the day, that loved one dies… How do you reconcile with this?

Now imagine, a dream you had nursed for long, you have pumped all that you had in it, prayerfully considering your path, pushing forward because you really believed you were made to solve that problem through your innovative idea. At the end of the day, things did not happen the way you envisioned.

Imagine a relationship you were truly dedicated to building, knowing that this person is who you will live the rest of your life with; or go into business with, or perhaps you were meant to mentor, but then it all ended in painful breakups.

The Story of Lazarus:
The story in John 11 is that of Lazarus. He fell gravely ill and his family did all they could to get Jesus attention to visit. When he finally got to the town, he was met with mourners in sack clothes … there was much wailing and turmoil. Many probably did not understand what Jesus was doing as he walked among them examining their countenance. I can imagine all of the murmuring and some saying, what is Jesus doing here? Didn’t He realize that the man – Lazarus is now dead? Some even said it to his face, don’t you see or know that Lazarus has been dead for 4 days? When we needed you to come, you did not show up? What could you possible do now that his body is decaying?

Jesus Response to the People’s Behavior:
How could they have doubted the father? How could they have doubted that he did not hear them? How could they have doubted that He knew exactly what had happened and that he was still the same person who’d performed much miracles before Lazarus death?

But that God many be glorified and that he (Jesus) fulfills his promise…he called out to Lazarus.. and commanded him to come forth from underneath the grave. Immediately, the stones covering the mouth of the tomb were pushed back and Lazarus came out.
Source: The Raising of Lazarus, by Duccio, 1310–11

While we may not understand why it takes Forever for God to answer our prayers, He has heard us the very first time we made our request. Often the answers are waiting for us to fully align with God’s words, be ready to receive it, having the right attitude to sustain the answer.

Wisdom Nugget for Today:
Take the limits off GOD! Take the limits off His Power. He is God who answers ALL prayers and because He sees the future more than we do, HE ANSWERS THE WAY HE KNOWS IT WILL EVENTUALLY BENEFIT US.

In the case of Lazarus, Jesus was not 4 days late but HE WAS RIGHT ON TIME. Likewise, whatever the dream is that seems dead right now, if you take the limits off God, HE will breathe life into it and cause it to prosper at the right time. Our time is never His time. He owns the past, the present and the future and because He knows your DNA, He will never allow any vision, dreams, or goals to crush you ..which can happen if fulfilled sooner.

Today, choose to take the limit off God…. Move into the realm of possibilities, trusting that he knows the right time to release that which you have asked. Continue to abide in the will of the father for your life, crushing every fear, every doubts, every past pains from failure with the understanding that today’s FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.

Until Next Time,
Be Inspired, Be Motivated, Be Of Sentimental Value, Be Authentic

Dr. Princess Fumi S. Hancock, BSN, MA, DNP.
Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Behavioral Health & Transformation Interventionist
http://www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

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