I Teach…

coachFew people realize this, but you can actually be your OWN life coach. Seriously. You can absolutely coach yourself to success. If you have the time and the self-confidence to look within yourself to work out all the crinkles and issues that are holding you back, you may find this to be a very beneficial way of discovering if coaching is for you.

Dig Deep and Begin the Search…

One of the main things a life coach will help you do is find out what really drives you, and what you’re really looking to achieve. Too often, we find ourselves following the wrong path or chasing the wrong thing simply because we believe it’s what we want. The truth of the matter is that what we really want can be very different to what we think we want. Whether it’s down to external pressures or expectations, we can really find ourselves off our true track.
This can be a very enlightening search as you may find that all the goals you truly thought you were aiming for are wrong. You may find that decisions you made do not hold up when the cold light of day is shone on them. You have to dig deep to really find out your purpose—so give it a try!

Ask Yourself the Right Questions

While sitting quietly by yourself, ask yourself what you truly want to do. Forget about financial issues, problems with work, or issues with your partner, and ask yourself what you really want to do with yourself. Do you want to do jigsaws? Fight for a place in the Senate? Read books until the end of time? What do you want? When you can put your finger on what you truly want to do, you will find true satisfaction, and you will know where to put the majority of your efforts.

Examine Your Life Carefully

Some people want to get ahead in their careers, start a brand new business, lose that extra weight, become socially acceptable, or become more confident. You need to know what you are aiming for. To do this, it’s important to take a full examination to see where you currently stand.

Everything Is Listening…

Each area of your life is connected. It’s really important for you to take a good look at the overall picture and see how each part works. If you are having a poor home life, it will change the way you work. If you are under pressure to be a certain way, it will change your mood. To really become the powerhouse I know you can be—you have to have a good work-life balance. Too much negativity and you may overdose.

Be a Goal Breaker and a Trend Setter

Once you have an idea about what you want, you can see where you need to make improvements. Now, making an improvement isn’t an overnight thing, so don’t expect it to be. Also keep in mind that most people don’t change—so to make changes is to be a trend setter. Isn’t that wonderful?

At the start, you don’t have to know exactly how you’ll reach your goal, you just have to figure out how to make progress towards your goal. For example—if you want a driving lesson but haven’t even been in a car, you may want to take part in a car journey.

The Pen is Mightier… Always

Try to avoid using computer-based documents and spreadsheets for the goals you want to accomplish. Use a notepad or a diary that can be exclusively used for this process. There is far more power in the handwritten word than the typed word. You will find yourself taking goals more seriously if you write them down.

Express Yourself, Reward Yourself

Yes. We are making changes to our lives—but let’s not become overzealous. It’s important to enjoy life, and reward yourself. A life coach will provide you with encouragement when you’re able to achieve what you set out to achieve.

This positive reinforcement builds confidence and allows you to set your sights higher and higher. Don’t forget to actually pat yourself on the back. It feels good—seriously.

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I Speak…

coachOne of the biggest problems with writing a speech is knowing where to begin. There are many people out there who would happily write your speech for you—but for those public speakers who really want to hit their audience and hold their sway, there has to be a level of self-knowledge. You need to know how to open your speech—how will your audience react to what you have to say? How does your personality grab your audience? Are you patriotic? Are you revolutionary? What does the world think about you and what you have to say? Take a look at these speech openers, and see if you can see yourself starting with some of these…

Thank You Very Much

Some of the best speakers start by thanking the audience for coming and thanking the organization for inviting you to speak. Refer to the person who introduced you or to one or more of the senior people in the organization in the audience. This compliments them, makes the feel proud and happy about your presence, and connects you into the audience like an electrical plug in a socket. As someone once told me—manners are more important in business than degrees.

Think Positive, Start Positive, Be Positive

You can begin by telling the audience members how much they will like and enjoy what you have to say. Explain how positive you feel the audience is towards you, and that you are excited to get to know the people in front of you. Keep a level of positivity and people will engage with you.

Compliment the Audience

You can begin by complimenting the audience members sincerely and with great respect. Smile as if you are really glad to see them, as if they are all old friends of yours that you have not seen for quite a while. How about telling them that it is a great honor for you to be here, that they are some of the most important people in this business or industry, and that you are looking forward to sharing some key ideas with them.

The Audacity of Hope

Remember, the ultimate purpose of speaking is to inspire people to do things that they would not have done in the absence of your comments. Everything you say should relate to the actions you want people to take and the reasons that they should take those actions.

Question Time…

You can open by making a positive statement and then asking a question requiring a show of hands. How about starting with one crucial question that everyone in the room will have an answer to: “Who here wants to be a billionaire?”

Refer to a Recent Conversation

Some of the greatest public speakers start by telling a story. Some of the most effective stories are recent conversations. “I was talking to Bill the other day—we were discussing this event, and he told me that the people in Louisiana are some of the best people you could ever hope to meet. I have been here for a few hours, my first visit to the great state of Louisiana, and I have to say that Bill was completely correct. This is the best event in the country, bar none.” See? Complimenting, telling a story and engaging will have them listening from the get-go.

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I Speak…

fear1We’ve looked at some of the major ways to learn how to better your public speaking, but this week we are going to look at a few things it would be unwise to do. Many public speakers fall into these traps—but with a little bit of help, you will avoid them altogether and forge a successful and powerful speaking personality.

Don’t Forget to Tailor Your Speech to Your Audience

Ask yourself: “Who is my audience? What are their issues? How does my message actually help them? How much do they know about my topic? What will I ask them to do in response to my message?” All the best practices in public speaking depend upon this first tenet: Know Your Audience, and know them well enough to realize that they want what they want.

Those Wanderin’ Eyes

From beginners to veterans, the majority of speakers fail to maintain meaningful, sustained eye contact with their listeners. Lack of eye contact implies a list of offenses: insincerity, disinterest, detachment, insecurity, shiftiness, and even arrogance. To visually connect with your audience, try to maintain eye contact for at least two to three seconds per person, or long enough to complete a full phrase or sentence. Effective eye communication is the most important nonverbal skill in a speaker’s toolbox.

Yes, Your Mannerisms Can Be Annoying

There are, at least, twenty common tics to tackle, including: clenching or wringing your hands, pacing back and forth, keeping your hands in pockets, jingling change or keys, twisting your ring, gripping the lectern, licking your lips, adjusting your hair or clothing, fidgeting with a pen, bobbing your head, placing your arms behind your back, and touching your face. Record yourself speaking and watch the playback. Practice often to increase your comfort level and reduce anxiety.

You Didn’t Have Time to Rehearse?

Most great speakers prepare. To optimize their perception of you and get the outcome you want, perform the entire presentation aloud at least once, and the opening and closing at least three times. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know what you are doing and saying, without having to put the work into presentation.

“That Speaker Lacked Energy…”

Enthusiasm is an audience’s most desired trait in a presenter. Conversely, a boring delivery — evidenced by a low monotone voice, dull facial expressions, and overall lethargy — is their most disliked trait. Ever see the movie “Ferris Bueller?” Think about that droning teacher and avoid channeling him at all costs. Increase your energy level. Speak expressively, smile naturally when you feel a smile is warranted, move naturally, and enjoy the moment. Just be the speaker everyone knows you can be.

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I Write…

once uponLast week, we talked about the positives behind self-publishing. This week, I’d like for us to talk about whether you are actually ready to publish. Knowing if you are ready to publish is half the battle—so take a look a look at this list and see if there are any reasons here for you not to publish your book. You should be absolutely certain you are ready to publish before you bite the bullet…

Writing for the Wrong Reason—Do Not Fall Into This Trap

The most common wrong reason to write a book is to make a lot of money. In many cases, you will be letting yourself in for a huge disappointment. You should try to write a book for good reasons—reasons like having something to say, something you want to express or something you’d like to share.

You Didn’t Use an Editor

Many writers believe that they’ve caught every mistake in their book. They’re wrong. Time after time, a fresh set of eyes has found typos in a book once thought clean. Don’t fall into the trap of trusting your eyes—find another set of professional eyes before you publish.

Design Your Own Cover?

The cover is one of the most important marketing pieces for your book, so hiring a great designer is money well invested. The beauty pageant that is Amazon web pages displays fifteen to twenty covers at a time. With a graphic the size of a postage stamp, you need to entice people to click. Are you ready for the competition?

Too Few Plans?

There are at least three plans to getting your book published: Plan A is to find a traditional publisher; Plan B is to self-publish; and Plan C is to implement Plan B in order to attract a traditional publisher and reinstate Plan A. There is no right and wrong. There is only what works for you and what doesn’t, so be flexible. Don’t undersell yourself and go to work without a plan.

Did You Build Your Marketing Platform?

Self-publishing is not a serial process where you can write a book and then worry about marketing it later. You need to start building a marketing platform as soon as you start writing because the process takes a year. Get in on your marketing early!

Did You Use Microsoft Word?

There are cheaper and more elegant word processors, but nothing has the paragraph styles capability of Word nor the universal acceptance from the reviewers. If you’re writing a book—write it in Word.

Don’t Just Sell the E-Book

People live believing that E-books are taking over the book market, and that dream is partially true—but you should never discount the paper book. Yes, it’s going to sell slower, but it will be picked up by certain readers; and if you’ve written a non-fiction book, the paperback will, more than likely, outsell the E-book version.

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I Teach…

medThe world is full of misconceptions, and no world is more filled with these misconceptions than the world of coaches. There are many different reasons for working with a coach, and a lot of reasons for not working with a coach—but this blog article is about dispelling some of the mis-truths that have been said about coaches, and in particular “life coaches.”

Life coaches are all professionals who can help you achieve your goals…

Not all coaches are professionals who can help you reach your goals. One of the problems in the coaching industry is that anyone can call themselves a professional coach, life coach, personal coach, etc. There are programs that will offer a credential after just a few hours of training, and people read a book or watch a TV program and by the next morning they are screaming ‘I’m a coach!’ out of their bedroom window. As a result, the quality of coaches does vary dramatically. It’s like anything—there are good coaches, and bad coaches and not all of either camp are professionals. Do your research.

Personal coaches can only help you reach personal goals and professional coaches can only help you reach business goals…

A good coach is someone who is an expert at helping others create positive change in their lives. For some clients, the positive change they most want may be focused on personal goals such as relationships, time management, work-life balance, stress reduction, simplification, health, etc., but other clients may be more interested in professional or business goals such as leadership, getting a promotion, starting a business, etc. An effective coach works with the client to help them live a better, richer life – regardless of their type of goals.

Life coaches just like good friends who keep you motivated…

Let’s get something straight here. Your coach may be very friendly, but they are not your friend. Your coach wants the best from you. They will work with you to help you reach your goals and to succeed. Your coach will hold you accountable and challenge you to grow and do more than you think you can do. They may push, pull, shove, stretch and poke you in ways that may feel uncomfortable. Unlike a friendship, the coaching relationship is exclusively focused on you and your goals, not the coach, his family, his golf handicap, or what happened on vacation. Working with a coach is work.

Professional coaching is just for employees with “problems.”

Good coaching focuses on an individual’s strengths and aims to help the client achieve what they want more of in life and at work. The goal? To help the client identify and achieve their greater goals and to help them live a better life. A good coach isn’t there to just “fix” anyone, but to help the client navigate toward a more engaged and compelling future. Gone are the days when coaching was just for people with problems.

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I Teach…

coachOver the latest few weeks, we have talked about all the different ways a life coach can help you. This week, I’d like to talk a little about how you can help yourself and become a life coach. This two-part article will lay out a path—a path that you can use to help others.

Step 1

The first step in learning how to become a life coach is to first decide if you truly do want to become a life coach.
Coaching is a process in which a coach works with a client to enhance their quality of life or business. A life coach is not a therapist or adviser. The definition of a Life Coach is someone who works with clients to enhance their quality of life through skilled discussion, goal setting, and action planning. A great life coach is someone who can see past problems and help their client see a way forward without doing it for them.
You must be an individual who likes to help people without imposing your own opinions on individuals. The client speaks for themselves most of the time. This is because the client has the answers inside of them, and a coach simply helps highlight and bring those answers to surface. The client is the real expert in their own lives. You are just the vessel by which they learn.

Step 2

The second step of how to become a life coach is to decide which type of life coach you want to be. There are many different types of life coaching niches such as:

• Weight loss coach
• Relationship coach
• Divorce recovery coach
• Career coach
• Health and wellness coach

The best way to decide the type of life coach to become is to combine your passion with your experience. Take, for example, your own skills. If you have a passion for helping people to thrive in their career and you have experience or education in doing so, then you may consider becoming a career coach.

Step 3

The coaching industry is self-regulated. There aren’t any licensing or certification requirements at this time. In addition, you do not need a coaching degree to become a Life Coach. But you must make sure that you have the right skills and tools to practically apply yourself towards your client’s goals. If you aren’t sure that you have these skills—you may want to take part in a life coach training program and become a certified life coach.
When choosing a training program, keep in mind that there aren’t any federal or state accreditations for life coaching. Therefore, any schools offering certifications are either self-accredited or accredited through a self-accrediting organization, including the International Coach Federation.

Step 4

The forth step of how to become a life coach is to have or learn life coaching skills. Do you have these skills?

• Ability to listen
• Ability to ask powerful questions
• Ability to motivate clients and help them overcome obstacles
• Planning and goal Setting
• Designing action plans
• Neuro Linguistic Programming (how the mind works)
• Ability to understand what’s on the client’s mind
• Experience with life coaching tools
• Life coaching ethics and standards
• Ability to create an awareness in clients

And most importantly…

• Patience

Step 5

After you have received your initial life coach training, you should always be looking to continue your education and expand your skills. Take other life coach classes either online, through books, websites, seminars, workshops, etc. Grow as a life coach and remember that each new client gives you the opportunity to not only help someone fulfil their potential, but help you become a better life coach.

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I Speak…

fear11Public speaking can be stressful. When we look at a TV screen or sit in an auditorium to listen a speech, we can pick out a great speaker straight away. Look at how at ease Reverend Robert H. Schuller was in front of his audience. How does he manage to be so in control? Experience. I, personally, believe people over-complicate what they have to do when they stand up to speak publicly. I decided that I would put together four thoughts that I have when I’m planning to speak in public. Let’s check them out…

The Time & The Season

The occasion for the speech can go a long way in helping you determine the topic. Your speech topic will vary depending on whether the occasion is celebratory, just plain fun, solemn, or professional. Here are a few ways that the occasion can help influence your speech topic.

If the occasion is solemn, such as a funeral or memorial service, then your topic should be serious and relevant to the occasion.

If the occasion is fun, such as a toast at a bachelor party, then it’s time to bring out the fun anecdotes and stories and to make people laugh — not to share your passion for coin collecting.

If the occasion is celebratory, like a wedding, then you need to provide some light-hearted humor as well as some serious and sentimental points.

If the occasion is professional, then you need to stick to a professional topic, such as website design, and not focus on your personal experiences.

Know Your Purpose

Your purpose is related to the occasion and is the goal you want to achieve through your speech. Your purpose can be to inform, persuade, or just to entertain your audience. A speech can have a variety of purposes, but it’s important to be acquainted with the most common purposes.

To inform your audience, you’ll need to provide relevant facts and details about a subject that reveals information allowing your audience to see a complicated subject in a more ordinary light, or to learn about a completely foreign subject.

To persuade your audience, you’ll need to use rhetorical techniques, metaphors, and convincing evidence from experts to show them that they should do something, whether it’s to elect you for office, recycle more, or take the time to volunteer in their communities.

To entertain your audience, you’ll need to draw on personal or anecdotal material, tell a few funny stories, show off your great sense of humor, and make your audience laugh, even if you’re communicating an underlying serious message.

Know Your Audience

Consider your audience. If you want to connect to your audience, then you should consider their knowledge before you select a topic. If you’re giving a speech to a group of aspiring writers, then you can comfortably reference other writers and literary terms; if you’re speaking to a group that knows very little about writing, be careful when you make more obscure literary references.

If you’re speaking to a group that has expertise in a subject, then you won’t have to waste their time by discussing the most basic aspects of that topic. You can jump right into the nitty-gritty.

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The Coach Series: Seven Signs of a Great Life Coach: Part 1

coachKnowledge and Know-how

Look for a coach who has experience and who has been working within the industry that you want to be part of, or achieving the results you desire. Ask yourself if he has worked with anyone like you and helped them succeed. Make sure that the coach has the right skillset to help you achieve your goals. Don’t assume that a successful businessman makes a great coach. Your coach should have a proven track record working within the industry, but should also have a track record of being able to help others.

Communicate

The coach should have an open-door policy. The coach should be accessible. You should be able to ask questions via email and get responses that are not only timely but also detailed enough to answer your questions. Emails should be returned within a business day.

Interact

How does the coach interact with her/his clients? Is this person accessible to each client? Is this coach positive and a great role model and mentor? How does this coach motivate his/her clients? Make sure you ask for referrals and ask their current clients how the coach interacts with them. Some coaches are hands off – sends tasks to do and then they are done. Some are extremely involved with their clients on a daily basis. You may lean more towards one of those options. It’s important that you get the right match for your skills.

Goal Setting

Make sure your coach asks you what your goals are and what you want to accomplish, both short- and long-term. The coach should be able to set up a day-to-day plan for you, but also be able to see the big picture, set up a macro-plan and be able to explain to you why the exercises and challenges are structured like they are to help you achieve your goals.

Feedback

Ask the coach how they will provide feedback to you on your exercises and challenges you are working toward. Progress is the name of the game. For example, if an athlete does not feel they’re making progress, they should be able to ask the coach for feedback on how to change things up. Also, the coach should be able to provide feedback on your progress, and tell you how to adapt things for your particular circumstances. They should also be able to give you specific feedback such as how to improve your skills, for example. Some ways that a coach can provide feedback is in person, via Skype, via email, or via social mediums like Twitter and Facebook.

Honesty

This is a tricky one, but one that I find is absolutely vital to success. It’s also one of the harder issues to address between coach and client. When looking for a coach, spend some time asking this coach how they can explain to you how realistic your goals are and what you need to do to improve. Honesty sometimes hurts, but it is critical to improvement and setting realistic goals.

Balance

A good coach understands life. They realize that down time is a must for most people and it is absolutely critical to maintain balance with work, family, social life and business. Find a coach that emulates this in their life and leads a similar lifestyle to yours. If you are a full-time working parent with four kids, hiring someone who has similar life experiences or works with clients like you will help in their understanding of the schedule you need. A good coach will help you sort through these life-business balance issues daily.

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Publishing Your Book: Covers: Part Eight

fear1After writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

This week we are going to look at some pointers about cover design. Covers are a selling tool like no other. They are usually the first thing people see, and they are usually the thing that makes someone buy or not buy. Covers capture interest—so it’s important for you to have the right one.

The wrong cover can be devastating to your sales. A poor cover can turn off readers and can even cause your book to be returned by customers. Bad covers can also lead to poor reviews. But what do I mean by a bad cover? Let’s look at the four biggest problems we see on covers. You can see covers that have these problems all over Amazon.

• Spelling errors on the cover
• Poor punctuation
• Pixelated images
• Poor name and title placement

But these are not the only things you have to think about when putting your cover together. You also have to become an ad-man and create a cover that looks good as a thumbnail. I bet you didn’t think about that! Yes, your cover has to stand out as a thumbnail on Amazon. So keep that in mind and test your covers. Shrink your cover in size and spend some time looking at it. Can you still make out the image on the front? Does it still look as attractive? Would you buy that book?

Give it a try—and see for yourself!

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David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, Chimes In!

David-Bowie_Chicago_2002-08-08_photoby_Adam-Bielawski-croppedI woke up to the sad news of David Bowie…Dies at 69! Understanding how his family may be feeling as I had just lost a brother barely 6 days ago, my first inclination was to find out what legacy he left behind. While many may be stuck on how he died, I have a different view about it. I shared this on my periscope broadcast today (CLICK HERE).

Many who follow me on periscope (@PrincessinSub) and BLABTV (www.blab.im/PrincessinSub) know how passionate I am on the importance of writing our Legacy Statement and allowing that legacy statement to point us to our true calling or passion or life purpose, as you may call it. David Bowie exemplified that.

photo by_Adam-Bielawski

Here is why:
(1). Every media outlet I turned to this morning said one great thing about his legacy: that he was “a master re-inventor and a compassionate business man.” This is a legacy his family should be incredibly proud of. It was amazing that not many talked about how much he made but more on the lives he impacted while he was with us. This is a legacy worth celebrating for generations to come.
(2). Another media outlet talked about the fact that he was someone who tried things and when it didn’t work, he knew when to let go, then re-invent his life purpose. Because he was great at it, his music cut across generations. While many artists in his generation may have faded away, he remained known. He was also a family man, who kept his family as private as he could.
(3). Once he re-engineered his life purpose, he worked at it. As a matter of fact, David Bowe’s last music was released last week, few days before he turned 69.

Here is a question for you today, if you took your last breath today, what would your legacy be?

Live Life Full, Leave It Empty

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Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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