Category Archives: Your Personal Development

Your Personal Development

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I Teach…

once uponThis blog article is about how you can get the most out your life coach. Seeing a Life Coach is like anything in life—the more you put it, the more you will get out. You can’t expect the Life Coach to do all of the work—so how do you turn your sessions into success? Let’s find out…

Keep Your Mind Open

There is no set way to get “there.” Allow your coach to take you to places that you have not considered before. Open yourself up to the possibility that your perspective can be shifted.  A good coach will prod you into places where you may not like to go, but with an open mind, work on trusting the process. The key to Life Coaching is keeping your mind open!

Preparation

Is there something specific going on that you really want to talk about? Is there an experience from the week that you want to share? Do you have questions about the process, or have questions come up for you during the week? Do you need a reminder about a tool that was discussed? The best thing you can do is put pen to paper at some point before the session and make some notes about things that are important to you. This is an excellent way to practice getting your needs met. If you can practice and get good at this with your coach, then you will be able to transfer that skill to other areas of your life.

Be Ready 

Before the session, take a minute to assess your needs. Did you eat this morning? Do you need to go to the bathroom? Does the dog need to go out? The more you can do to create a space for you to work uninterrupted, the more in the flow and in the moment you can be during your session. This is deep work that cannot fully happen when you have distractions around you.

Be Comfortable

Make a warm drink and sit in a comfy spot. You have booked this time to work on the most important thing in your life… YOU. Allow it to be your time by working towards making the most of this time by setting yourself to feel supported and comfortable in your own space.

Be Noteworthy

Get yourself a notebook with a place where you can put the date and make notes throughout the session.  Coaching sessions go by very quickly, and a lot of information comes up. Bring a notebook and pen and allow yourself to jot random words, phrases, and points. You will also be encouraged from time to time to write down specific things that are essential to your journey. Have a book where you can capture this all. This then becomes your resource for the time in between sessions.

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I Speak…

fear1Writing your speech is one thing—but performing it in front of others is another thing altogether. When you’ve written your speech, you may want to rehearse every inch of your performance. Just like acting, you need to think about a variety of things—the audience, your content, your emotions and the structure of your speech. This blog is all about preparation—let’s get to it!

Rehearse the Content

The first rehearsal is for the content. The first time, just try to get the words out. Don’t worry about what actors call ‘blocking’ — how you might move around. Just get the words out. Find out if anything needs to be changed or fixed. See how long it takes and how well the transitions work. Test it.

The Structure

Audiences today expect speakers to do more than simply read from a script or PowerPoint slide deck. They expect a more intimate conversation. As a result, it pays for the speaker to know the basic logical flow of the speech — not the exact words, but the main points, in order. Ideally, that’s what a speaker has in his or her head when he/she bounds up on stage and begins to chat with the audience. Get the logic of the speech down in a bulleted outline, and practice that. Rehearse just running through that outline, as if it were a very brief explanation. Then, embellish it by adding your supporting facts, your stories, and so on. Work your way up to the whole speech.

Rehearse Your Conversation

Work on finding out how you’re going to stand, to move, and where during the speech you need to do what. Don’t worry so much about getting the words perfect, but do feel the speech as a dynamic production of your body. Ideally, you’ll have someone tape you, so you can see how you’re doing.

Many people don’t think they need to walk through a speech physically — I’ll just run through the points in my head — but you do need to rehearse. I can always tell someone who hasn’t rehearsed, because sooner or later you’ll catch that deer-in-the-headlights look as the speaker thinks to himself, “I didn’t see that coming.”

Rehearse the Emotions

Emotion is captivating. We like to watch it on TV, which is why so many people watch reality TV shows even though they know they shouldn’t. We praise great actors and singers because they are practiced emoters. We even elect former actors to be president because they’re able to look authentic doing what they do best: playing a part. Don’t overlook the emotions of a presentation or speech.

Watch Yourself

Videotape yourself or use a tape recorder if you’ll be speaking on radio, in a webinar, or on a conference call. You literally need to experience yourself as others will. Watch, listen, and work on the rough spots. A painful activity? It can be. Is it helpful? Always!

Today’s digital recording equipment makes this aspect of rehearsing easier and more mobile than ever before. Make use of it!

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I Teach…

fear1As a life coach it is important to understand the motivating factors at your disposal. We all need a boost sometimes, and as a coach it’s a good idea for you to have a few tips in your pocket that you can use to give that boost to your clients. Try these out yourself and see what works for you—then pass the good feeling along…

Email and Social Media Can Wait…. Don’t Check It Straight Away

If you do, you are allowing other people’s lives and agendas to control your motivation. Most of the time, you’ll read about bad news, arguments, tragedies – you’ll start comparing yourself to others, and all of these things will not help you start your day focused and motivated.

Water – The Key to Life Itself

There are numerous studies that prove the benefits of this simple drink. It helps you increase your level of alertness, refuel your brain, fight sickness and jump-start your metabolism. Plenty of benefit for something so simple. Drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up.

Exercise, Exercise, Exercise

I know you probably don’t feel like it, but studies prove that even a little exercise in the morning transforms the way you feel. You will boost endorphins, your energy levels will go up, and you’ll be healthier and less stressed throughout the entire day.

Priorities, Goals and Your Life

Designing your life is extremely important in determining where you are going. As you start your day, your focus should be on accomplishing the most important things that get you closer to your overall life vision – every single morning.

Music Is the Food of Success

Music has incredible power to release motivating neurotransmitters in our brains. Seriously! The key is to find music that motivates you the most. So, what music gets you going?

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I Speak…

once uponOne of the greatest stresses of public speaking is nervousness. Now, we’ve talked about this before, and I would like to go through some really useful tips for getting over those last minute nerves. Picture this: You are standing backstage, waiting to go on and talk to 20,000 people about writing. Your stomach is churning; your head is pounding. You are scared. What do you do? Well, why don’t you try a few of these ideas…

Push, Push, Push That Door

Before you give your speech, find somewhere where you can be alone for just a few minutes and stand and face a door. Place both hands on the door at about shoulder height and push as hard as you can. After pushing, stand normally and try speaking out loud. See how much more relaxed your voice sounds. Do this before every performance, and you will see a difference.

Tongue-Along

Try sticking your tongue out as far as it will go and repeat a nursery rhyme. This will help open the back of your throat and help you sound more confident.  This should help you in your effort to be a better public speaker.

Breathe, and Breathe, and Breathe

Breathe in through your nose very slowly for a count of five. Then breathe out though your nose for a count of five. Repeat this three times, and you will have significantly lowered your heart rate, so when you start to speak you won’t sound like an express train. This is a beautiful way to help your speaking engagements begin smoothly.

And Squeeze…

Simply clench the muscles in your buttocks. Most clothes will completely mask your actions, and it will help you feel and appear more confident. Then smile. You are ready to give your speech!

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I Write…

once uponFormatting and uploading an e-book can be one of the most frustrating parts of publishing a book. It’s a completely different process to formatting a paperback or a hardcover, and it can be frustrating to see your perfect looking Word file turned into a jumbled mass of words when it’s uploaded and previewed. This blog article is all about formatting your e-book from your Word document. Just a few tips to help your frustration…

Fiverr Is Your Friend!

Yes, you can do it all yourself, but really, it’s much easier to let someone else do it. E-book formatting often costs around $100, but you can get it done for $15, or even less on Fiverr.

E-Books Are a Living Thing…

The most important thing is that the text works and is easy to read – so if you’re trying to do anything too complicated, let it go. Simple is usually the solution. Look at any mainstream published e-book – they rarely have special fonts or images and are super minimal.

You can’t set up everything exactly because readers need the ability to enlarge the text, change the font, and the e-book will look different on every device and previewing tool. Rather than add a lot of style, you need to remove as much style as possible and make everything very simple.

Start with Your Word file

The easiest way to make an e-book is to start by setting up your Word file the right way. Use automatic paragraph indents not tabs. Use the “heading1” style for all chapter titles, and check that a TOC is being made automatically. If you’ve done it right, you can use a simple online e-book conversion tool, or upload it straight to Kindle, or run it through Calibre, and everything should look just as you set it up in Word.

There Is No Page!

If you learn one thing about formatting an e-book it should be this: Inside an e-book, there is no page. This is the hardest thing for would-be e-book publishers to get their heads around, and I understand. It was hard for me too. Seriously.

Don’t Overdo the Fonts

Try to use the same font and font size throughout the book for both text and headings. Select a standard font face such as Times Roman or Verdana in 12-point size. Use italics in the text where appropriate, but no underlines. It makes everything else easier.

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

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I Teach…

coachFew people realize this, but you can actually be your OWN life coach. Seriously. You can absolutely coach yourself to success. If you have the time and the self-confidence to look within yourself to work out all the crinkles and issues that are holding you back, you may find this to be a very beneficial way of discovering if coaching is for you.

Dig Deep and Begin the Search…

One of the main things a life coach will help you do is find out what really drives you, and what you’re really looking to achieve. Too often, we find ourselves following the wrong path or chasing the wrong thing simply because we believe it’s what we want. The truth of the matter is that what we really want can be very different to what we think we want. Whether it’s down to external pressures or expectations, we can really find ourselves off our true track.
This can be a very enlightening search as you may find that all the goals you truly thought you were aiming for are wrong. You may find that decisions you made do not hold up when the cold light of day is shone on them. You have to dig deep to really find out your purpose—so give it a try!

Ask Yourself the Right Questions

While sitting quietly by yourself, ask yourself what you truly want to do. Forget about financial issues, problems with work, or issues with your partner, and ask yourself what you really want to do with yourself. Do you want to do jigsaws? Fight for a place in the Senate? Read books until the end of time? What do you want? When you can put your finger on what you truly want to do, you will find true satisfaction, and you will know where to put the majority of your efforts.

Examine Your Life Carefully

Some people want to get ahead in their careers, start a brand new business, lose that extra weight, become socially acceptable, or become more confident. You need to know what you are aiming for. To do this, it’s important to take a full examination to see where you currently stand.

Everything Is Listening…

Each area of your life is connected. It’s really important for you to take a good look at the overall picture and see how each part works. If you are having a poor home life, it will change the way you work. If you are under pressure to be a certain way, it will change your mood. To really become the powerhouse I know you can be—you have to have a good work-life balance. Too much negativity and you may overdose.

Be a Goal Breaker and a Trend Setter

Once you have an idea about what you want, you can see where you need to make improvements. Now, making an improvement isn’t an overnight thing, so don’t expect it to be. Also keep in mind that most people don’t change—so to make changes is to be a trend setter. Isn’t that wonderful?

At the start, you don’t have to know exactly how you’ll reach your goal, you just have to figure out how to make progress towards your goal. For example—if you want a driving lesson but haven’t even been in a car, you may want to take part in a car journey.

The Pen is Mightier… Always

Try to avoid using computer-based documents and spreadsheets for the goals you want to accomplish. Use a notepad or a diary that can be exclusively used for this process. There is far more power in the handwritten word than the typed word. You will find yourself taking goals more seriously if you write them down.

Express Yourself, Reward Yourself

Yes. We are making changes to our lives—but let’s not become overzealous. It’s important to enjoy life, and reward yourself. A life coach will provide you with encouragement when you’re able to achieve what you set out to achieve.

This positive reinforcement builds confidence and allows you to set your sights higher and higher. Don’t forget to actually pat yourself on the back. It feels good—seriously.

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

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I Speak…

coachOne of the biggest problems with writing a speech is knowing where to begin. There are many people out there who would happily write your speech for you—but for those public speakers who really want to hit their audience and hold their sway, there has to be a level of self-knowledge. You need to know how to open your speech—how will your audience react to what you have to say? How does your personality grab your audience? Are you patriotic? Are you revolutionary? What does the world think about you and what you have to say? Take a look at these speech openers, and see if you can see yourself starting with some of these…

Thank You Very Much

Some of the best speakers start by thanking the audience for coming and thanking the organization for inviting you to speak. Refer to the person who introduced you or to one or more of the senior people in the organization in the audience. This compliments them, makes the feel proud and happy about your presence, and connects you into the audience like an electrical plug in a socket. As someone once told me—manners are more important in business than degrees.

Think Positive, Start Positive, Be Positive

You can begin by telling the audience members how much they will like and enjoy what you have to say. Explain how positive you feel the audience is towards you, and that you are excited to get to know the people in front of you. Keep a level of positivity and people will engage with you.

Compliment the Audience

You can begin by complimenting the audience members sincerely and with great respect. Smile as if you are really glad to see them, as if they are all old friends of yours that you have not seen for quite a while. How about telling them that it is a great honor for you to be here, that they are some of the most important people in this business or industry, and that you are looking forward to sharing some key ideas with them.

The Audacity of Hope

Remember, the ultimate purpose of speaking is to inspire people to do things that they would not have done in the absence of your comments. Everything you say should relate to the actions you want people to take and the reasons that they should take those actions.

Question Time…

You can open by making a positive statement and then asking a question requiring a show of hands. How about starting with one crucial question that everyone in the room will have an answer to: “Who here wants to be a billionaire?”

Refer to a Recent Conversation

Some of the greatest public speakers start by telling a story. Some of the most effective stories are recent conversations. “I was talking to Bill the other day—we were discussing this event, and he told me that the people in Louisiana are some of the best people you could ever hope to meet. I have been here for a few hours, my first visit to the great state of Louisiana, and I have to say that Bill was completely correct. This is the best event in the country, bar none.” See? Complimenting, telling a story and engaging will have them listening from the get-go.

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Dear Princess Column at: www.sentimentalnursewriter.com

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I Teach…

once uponBeing a life coach takes more than just learning from a book. There are skills you will need that you already have, yet you may not even know that you have them. Coaching is a little bit like having a good conversation with a friend. A great coach can have a natural rapport with anyone simply by taking advantage of a few of the skills they already have. Let’s look at those skills…

Be Curious About What Your Client Has to Say

When we speak about listening with curiosity, we’re talking about showing genuine interest in what others are saying to you. All too often we listen without really showing interest. We are impatient and truly show a lack of attentiveness, which in turn hampers constructive conversation. We are too focused on our own agenda. Be genuinely curious. Don’t do all the talking, and keep interruptions to a minimum.  Pace the conversation, and don’t be afraid to keep it focused and on target. Be involved and your client will be involved, too.

Take It All In

Sometimes you can project all the necessary nonverbal cues to give the other person a sense that you’re listening with curiosity, but you could still be failing to take in any information. While projecting a sense of curiosity, don’t forget to absorb and register what is actually being said. You need to hear the words, read the gestures, and take in the thoughts, ideas, and emotions of the other party. To take in what you hear, you need to pace the conversation and put yourself in the shoes of the other party. If you aren’t listening—you aren’t coaching.

Reflection Is Key

Reflecting back with accuracy shows the person you’re really listening and confirms that you have digested the right information. It also allows the person to hear back what he or she has said and to check within him or herself: Is it exactly what he or she meant to say? Try to take notes, and refer back to them often. Don’t be afraid to ask your client to delve deeper into what they’ve said. Try to get to the root of their issues.

Ask Questions…

Asking questions extends the conversation and allows for a more productive dialogue. Ask open-ended questions that allow more exploration to take place. By asking open ended questions, you give your protégés an opportunity to find answers within themselves. When someone actually discovers the answers for themselves, it empowers them. When you question for exploration, you reinforce in their minds that you believe in them, and that their opinions, knowledge, and experience are worthwhile. You build their confidence. A true coach will always look to build the confidence of their client.

Don’t Be Afraid to Give Back

Feedback is often thought of as being inherently critical, but that need not be the case. Successful coaches are careful and discriminating about how they employ feedback, knowing that poor or incomplete feedback could stifle their protégés or even cause feelings of inadequacy in them. The successful coach avoids the common mistake of using feedback as a vehicle for asserting expertise. Unclear, arrogant, or dismissive feedback can drive your protégés into defensiveness and destroy the trust so critical to your relationship. When providing feedback, coaches should strive to make it clear, make it relevant, make it helpful, and make it positive. Try to always end on a positive note.

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

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More blog articles at www.yourinneryou.com
Dear Princess Column at: www.sentimentalnursewriter.com

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I Speak…

fear1We’ve looked at some of the major ways to learn how to better your public speaking, but this week we are going to look at a few things it would be unwise to do. Many public speakers fall into these traps—but with a little bit of help, you will avoid them altogether and forge a successful and powerful speaking personality.

Don’t Forget to Tailor Your Speech to Your Audience

Ask yourself: “Who is my audience? What are their issues? How does my message actually help them? How much do they know about my topic? What will I ask them to do in response to my message?” All the best practices in public speaking depend upon this first tenet: Know Your Audience, and know them well enough to realize that they want what they want.

Those Wanderin’ Eyes

From beginners to veterans, the majority of speakers fail to maintain meaningful, sustained eye contact with their listeners. Lack of eye contact implies a list of offenses: insincerity, disinterest, detachment, insecurity, shiftiness, and even arrogance. To visually connect with your audience, try to maintain eye contact for at least two to three seconds per person, or long enough to complete a full phrase or sentence. Effective eye communication is the most important nonverbal skill in a speaker’s toolbox.

Yes, Your Mannerisms Can Be Annoying

There are, at least, twenty common tics to tackle, including: clenching or wringing your hands, pacing back and forth, keeping your hands in pockets, jingling change or keys, twisting your ring, gripping the lectern, licking your lips, adjusting your hair or clothing, fidgeting with a pen, bobbing your head, placing your arms behind your back, and touching your face. Record yourself speaking and watch the playback. Practice often to increase your comfort level and reduce anxiety.

You Didn’t Have Time to Rehearse?

Most great speakers prepare. To optimize their perception of you and get the outcome you want, perform the entire presentation aloud at least once, and the opening and closing at least three times. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking that you know what you are doing and saying, without having to put the work into presentation.

“That Speaker Lacked Energy…”

Enthusiasm is an audience’s most desired trait in a presenter. Conversely, a boring delivery — evidenced by a low monotone voice, dull facial expressions, and overall lethargy — is their most disliked trait. Ever see the movie “Ferris Bueller?” Think about that droning teacher and avoid channeling him at all costs. Increase your energy level. Speak expressively, smile naturally when you feel a smile is warranted, move naturally, and enjoy the moment. Just be the speaker everyone knows you can be.

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

AVAILABLE: amazonbarnes and noble   

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More blog articles at www.yourinneryou.com
Dear Princess Column at: www.sentimentalnursewriter.com

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I Write…

once uponLast week, we talked about the positives behind self-publishing. This week, I’d like for us to talk about whether you are actually ready to publish. Knowing if you are ready to publish is half the battle—so take a look a look at this list and see if there are any reasons here for you not to publish your book. You should be absolutely certain you are ready to publish before you bite the bullet…

Writing for the Wrong Reason—Do Not Fall Into This Trap

The most common wrong reason to write a book is to make a lot of money. In many cases, you will be letting yourself in for a huge disappointment. You should try to write a book for good reasons—reasons like having something to say, something you want to express or something you’d like to share.

You Didn’t Use an Editor

Many writers believe that they’ve caught every mistake in their book. They’re wrong. Time after time, a fresh set of eyes has found typos in a book once thought clean. Don’t fall into the trap of trusting your eyes—find another set of professional eyes before you publish.

Design Your Own Cover?

The cover is one of the most important marketing pieces for your book, so hiring a great designer is money well invested. The beauty pageant that is Amazon web pages displays fifteen to twenty covers at a time. With a graphic the size of a postage stamp, you need to entice people to click. Are you ready for the competition?

Too Few Plans?

There are at least three plans to getting your book published: Plan A is to find a traditional publisher; Plan B is to self-publish; and Plan C is to implement Plan B in order to attract a traditional publisher and reinstate Plan A. There is no right and wrong. There is only what works for you and what doesn’t, so be flexible. Don’t undersell yourself and go to work without a plan.

Did You Build Your Marketing Platform?

Self-publishing is not a serial process where you can write a book and then worry about marketing it later. You need to start building a marketing platform as soon as you start writing because the process takes a year. Get in on your marketing early!

Did You Use Microsoft Word?

There are cheaper and more elegant word processors, but nothing has the paragraph styles capability of Word nor the universal acceptance from the reviewers. If you’re writing a book—write it in Word.

Don’t Just Sell the E-Book

People live believing that E-books are taking over the book market, and that dream is partially true—but you should never discount the paper book. Yes, it’s going to sell slower, but it will be picked up by certain readers; and if you’ve written a non-fiction book, the paperback will, more than likely, outsell the E-book version.

YOUR VISION TORCH Series
Achieve Your Dreams, Ignite Your Vision, & Re-engineer Your Life Purpose

AVAILABLE: amazonbarnes and noble   

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More blog articles at www.yourinneryou.com
Dear Princess Column at: www.sentimentalnursewriter.com

Download your free sample here