I Teach…

once uponFor those of us who are new to coaching, this blog article is all about connecting with your customer. Sometimes it’s easy to build a relationship, sometimes it’s hard— but it is a crucial part of your work. You must be able to connect with the people who hire you. Let’s look at some steps that will help you build up your clients. It’s not as hard as you may think.

Warn Them, Inform Them… Let Them Know What to Expect

When you meet with a client for the first time, it would be advisable to explain to them what they’re expected to be able to do. Give them some notice. You can turn an advance warning into a relationship-building opportunity. Ask them about things they’ve wanted to do, what they’ve been trying to achieve, and actually show interest in your clients.

Take Responsibility

You’ve made an error? Turned up late to a meeting? Accepting full responsibility, while recognizing the consequences of the error, shows that you’re prepared to take it like a grown-up. People respect that.

Tone Down Your Voice When Giving Bad News

Literally. Lower the tone of your voice and your rate of speaking. Generally, when people get excited or emotional about ideas they tend to raise their voice pitch and pace. When you’re giving bad news or feedback that could be construed negatively or critically, you want to give the impression that you are thinking clearly, logically and reasonably – not emotionally – and certainly not irrationally.

ALWAYS Begin with the Good News

When you have both good news and bad, start with the good. When people hear bad news, they have an internal stress reaction that causes them to tune-out other information. Try to ensure that the client fully comprehends and appreciates the entire message by making sure you give the good news first. Always give them something to feel good about.

Express Those Negatives as Positives

Rather than saying, “We can’t meet until Tuesday,” instead try, “We can meet up as soon as Tuesday.” It’s the same information, but wording it positively enhances your message. It makes the client feel important.

Try to Remind Them of the Bigger Picture

Sometimes clients don’t realize that the ‘bad news’ is in their own best interest. Try to always frame things inside the bigger picture. Yes, this is negative today—but how does it change the plan positively? Don’t let them go away feeling as though they failed.

Follow-up! Always Follow-up!

With some clients, a well-timed phone call after bad news goes a long way in proving to the client that you’ve gone the extra mile. “I just wanted to check with you to see how things are going with that discussion we had…” That raises the perceived value of your service without spending more money. Try it. People like to feel important.

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I Teach…

once uponSeeing several clients each day can sometimes spin your head and make you lose focus. This week, I’d like to talk about a checklist I keep with me each time I talk to coaching clients. This list helps me to keep focused and allows me to understand what I need to do to help my clients. I think this list could be useful for you, too. Print it off—and use it daily. It will really help you get down to the nitty-gritty of what is important.

Build a Relationship of Mutual Trust

The foundation of any coaching relationship is rooted in your day-to-day relationship with your client. Without some degree of trust, conducting an effective coaching meeting is impossible. Try to make sure the relationship is one of working together, rather than working apart.

Open the Meeting and Take Control

In opening a coaching meeting, it’s important for you to clarify, in a nonevaluative, non-accusatory way, the specific reason the meeting was arranged. The key to this step is to restate — in a friendly, non-judgmental manner — the meeting purpose that was first set when the appointment was scheduled.

Find Common Ground and Agreement

Probably the most critical step in the coaching meeting process is getting your client to agree verbally that a performance issue exists. Overlooking or avoiding the performance issue because you assume the person understands its significance is a typical mistake of coaches. To persuade a client that a performance issue exists, a coach must be able to define the nature of the issue and get the client to recognize the consequences of not changing his or her behavior. To do this, you must specify the behavior and clarify the consequences.

Explore All the Alternatives

Try to explore ways the issue can be improved or corrected by encouraging the client to identify alternative solutions. Avoid jumping in with your own alternatives, unless the client is unable to think of any. Push for specific alternatives and not generalizations. Your goal in this step is not to choose an alternative, which is the next step, but to maximize the number of choices for the client to consider and to discuss their advantages and disadvantages.

Look for Commitment and Action

The next step is to help the client choose an alternative. Don’t make the choice for the client. To accomplish this step, the coach must be sure to get a verbal commitment from the client regarding what action will be taken and when it will be taken. Be sure to support the client’s choice and always offer praise.

Make Sure You Handle Those Ever-Present Excuses

Client excuses may occur at any point during the coaching meeting. To handle excuses, rephrase the point by taking a comment or statement that was perceived by the client to be blaming or accusatory and recast it as an encouragement for the client to examine his or her behavior. Respond empathically to show support for the clients’ situation and communicate an understanding of both the content and feeling of the client’s comment.

Provide Crucial Feedback

Effective coaches understand the value and importance of giving continual performance feedback to their people, both positive and corrective.

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I Teach…

sleepThis week, we are going to look at coaching and beginning a career in coaching. You’re now in a position to be a coach, and you’re ready to begin… but where do you start? How do you get those crucial first clients? How do you know how much to charge? What do you do? What have others done? This article is all about the first crucial steps towards success as a coach. Let’s take a look…

A Clear Path to Success

One of the most useful pieces of advice is to have a plan and see how you will fulfil your goals. In the meantime, have smaller, doable goals, so you know you’re on track. Each time you achieve one of the smaller goals, you will find yourself closer to success with the bigger goals. You should always be looking at the bigger picture—where are you and where do you want to be?

Keep It Simple

Nobody in the world can do it all. That being said, you should plan on putting in lots of hours and energy into your business, at least for the first year or two until you have a good clientele base with a waiting list, and you have a reliable marketing engine. Later, however, you will want to learn the power of saying “no.” Nobody needs to work 100 hours a week.

Family Support

Your loved ones can also assist you in your endeavors and make it easier. Rather than feel bad that you’re not doing as much for everyone else, use your coaching skills to fully communicate what you’re really up to. When you share your inspiration and how much this means to you, the people who care most about you will whole-heartedly join your team, and they may even help you find clients.

Look After the Money

When you know you have enough money coming in already, you can afford to trust the process of attracting clients. Starting a business is not like starting a new job. You won’t get a reliable paycheck every two weeks. But your time investment up front will pay off handsomely if you go the distance. Reduce debts by negotiating for lower interest rates. Stop paying for things you aren’t using. Be careful with your money, and you’ll go far.

Promote, Promote, Shout

In your first year of coaching, even if your coaching skills aren’t fully honed yet, share your excitement and inspiration about coaching with pretty much everybody. Don’t be attached to getting them to understand coaching the way you do. They probably won’t. But do share your energy.

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I Teach…

once uponThere are many reasons to seek out a life coach—but before you do, you should know a few facts about life coaching. Many people see it as an opportunity to go through therapy without going to see a therapist; others see it as the answer to all their problems—but there are certain realties you have to realize. Let’s take a look at them…

Focus – Life Coaching Allows You to Focus on Yourself

Many people often leave themselves behind. Life coaching actually puts you first, for perhaps the first time.  Life coaching takes the necessary time with you to discover your true values, goals, and talents, and will help you create a plan to fulfilling them. After all, YOU are important! Repeat that to yourself now—YOU ARE IMPORTANT!

Order – Life Coaching Gives You the Opportunity to Get Your Life in Order

In life coaching, you immediately take action. You stop being a person living on the sidelines, letting your life pass you by. A good life coach helps you understand yourself better and helps you to live a life aligned with your morals, values, and core beliefs.  It is NOT long-term psychotherapy. With support and encouragement, YOU are urged to sit in the driver’s seat in your own life. With your coach as your strongest advocate, YOU decide when you have met your goals. Try it!

Professional – Life Coaching Is Unbiased

When you have a life coach, you get to talk through your struggles with someone who is not going to interrupt you or push you towards what they think you should do. A great life coach would never make judgments or criticize your choices, but instead offers suggestions and give you the space and time to think through your challenges and options. Of course, everything you say to your coach will be kept in total confidence. It’s all about you.

Therapy – Life Coaching Is Not Therapy

Life coaching is never about treating mental illness and working through deeply rooted psychological issues. You should seek professional help in those situations. Therapy is great for people with psychological problems that require intervention with a mental health specialist. Life coaching is an empowering process for normal, healthy people to get help making their lives better, happier, and more fulfilled.

Fun – Yes, Life Coaching Can Be Fun

Expect to laugh a lot during your coaching sessions! Sometimes making change can be more than a little scary, but coaching is actually fun and empowering. It feels great to get things out in the open – so you can get clarity and take action.

Accountability- Life Coaches Hold You Responsible for Yourself

If you’re feeling negative and lacking in motivation, your coach will help you challenge limiting assumptions and beliefs you may have about yourself and the situations you find yourself in.  He or she will help you work through the issues that are preventing you from moving forward and, above all, keep you focused on your goals!

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How Much Can You Do During a Warrior Wednesday?

fear1“Do more, see more, feel more, achieve more… make Wednesday YOUR day for achievement!”

Have you ever wondered about the people who seem to zoom through their day and achieve everything they started out wanting to achieve? Have you ever wondered how they do it? I’m sure each of us knows someone who can get much more done in a day than we believe possible. The super filer, the busy typist, the amazing salesman. What gives those people such drive?

It really comes down to the need to meet goals. Some people have an inbuilt need to achieve everything straight away. But there are ways for you to also help yourself make more from your days. This week, we will be talking about increasing productivity during our days, so our evenings can be less stressful.

Make Notes

The most successful people in the world always carry a notepad in their pockets to make notes. Many of us use our computers or phones and make notes on the diaries we have there. But this doesn’t seem to cut it for many people—it’s better to write it down and refer to something that is real—a piece of paper.

Time Management

Those who are super achievers know that time is a finite thing. On a daily basis, we only have so much time to do things. That’s why it’s important for us to make the most from our time. Try timing your activities, multi-tasking or combining tasks. This will help you cut down on the time you are spending on an activity and will cut the number of things you have to do.

Relax…

Even during the most stressful day, successful people find the time to wind down. Even in the office, you can spare a few moments every day to take your mind off work, meditate for a few minutes or read the news. Relaxation is part of what makes us successful. We have to know when to turn on the standby button.

Colleagues Can Be Fun

Try to be as social as possible. The more social you are at work, the more you feel like part of the team. Try interacting with as many people as you possibly can—and make friends. Working with friends is much better than working with people you hardly know.

Wake Up, Gotta Get Out of Bed

What can really set back our days is being late for work. Once you are late for work, you can expect your day to become sluggish. Try heading to bed earlier, waking up earlier, watching the news, having a relaxing breakfast and then heading to work. There’s no reason to rush anything in your life—take it at its own pace!

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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 13

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential—a fear called Acrophobia, which is a fear of heights that can stop many people from actually taking the first step toward their dreams.

Acrophobia may manifest itself in many ways, but is the extreme or irrational fear of heights. It’s not the same as vertigo, which is an inner ear problem that makes you think that you’re moving even when you’re not.

Recognizing Your Phobia

If you’re in a high place, do you feel like you will fall or jump off the edge? Do you suffer from panic attacks, dizzy spells and feeling faint? This condition can be triggered by a variety of every day activities such as travelling on a lift or escalator, parking in a multi-story car park or climbing a ladder. The thoughts and physical sensations are harmless but can be so distressing that it seriously limits the sufferer’s enjoyment of life, and can stop you from fulfilling your potential. Imagine if you had to make a business deal in a skyscraper—but couldn’t face going to the fifth floor? How about needing to meet that all important person for lunch—but not being able to reach the top of the building, where the restaurant is situated? If you suffer from acrophobia you may never be able to achieve the things you truly want to achieve.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Throw Yourself In

One of the most common ways of overcoming this phobia is just to “flood” it, in other words, just throw yourself right in and use your willpower to climb those stairs and stare out of the windows of a skyscraper. This could also mean skydiving, bungee jumping, or other extreme ways of getting to grips with your fear of heights. However, recent surveys have said that only a small percentage of people have overcome their phobia this way.

Small Steps

Another way to get to grips with your phobia would be to take small steps, until you feel comfortable to take some more. For example, you could try placing a ladder outside your home and climbing one step at a time. This would allow you to overcome your phobia at your own pace.

Thinking Is Doing

Sometimes the best way of combating a condition like acrophobia is just to change the way you think. Ask yourself why this condition scares you so much—what is it that bothers you so much about heights? Why are you scared to go on that elevator? Sometimes, it’s all down to defeating the demons in our minds.

Time

The most important thing is to realize that you have all the time in the world to overcome your phobia. There is no rush—take your own time and realize that only you can do it. Know that it could take a long time to get over your phobia—but it will be worth it in the end.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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It’s Warrior Wednesday, and Dreams Are What Life Is Made Of…

once uponDreams Are What Lives Are Made Of…

Ask any successful person how they entered the business of being successful. The answer that you will hear overwhelmingly is that they dreamed of doing something. Something big. Something important. Something that nobody else had ever done. They dreamed of becoming, finding, having, being, saying. The dreams you’ve had are a direction. A desire that comes from deep down inside your body and soul. Dreaming is half the journey to success.

But, you may say, BUT… How do I know what I want, and how do I get what I want? That’s the hard part! You have a dream journey—but you have to make it from place A to place B. It may be a difficult journey with lots of frustrating stops, starts and detours. It may be something you feel that you can’t do. It may be that you are at a place in your life that doesn’t allow you to pursue your dreams—but that doesn’t mean you won’t stop dreaming. It doesn’t mean that tonight you won’t discover the way to make your dreams come true. There is nothing stopping you from doing anything in your mind—your dreams cannot be taken away from you—so instead of decreeing that in reality your dreams are nothing more than made up, you should embrace them, watch for an opportunity and strike when you feel the time is right.

Knowing Your Dreams

Sometimes people wake up after a vivid dream, and for a short time after they wake up, they can remember the whole thing. As your day progresses, you lose more and more of that dream, and within a few hours it may be gone. How about keeping a pen and a piece of paper by your bed? When you wake up in the morning, jot down your dream. This way you can see patterns, direction, and make sense of what your inner self is telling you—at your own pace—without fear of forgetting it.

No Dreams?

Rubbish. Everyone has dreams. It may just be that you don’t feel your dreams are achievable, therefore, you may be more likely to quash your dreams before they can even take shape. Think about it—at some point in your life you have wanted something. You’ve wanted to go somewhere, see something, be someone. Think back and try to reconnect with your dreams.

Honestly…

Okay, I am not saying that tomorrow you can wake up and make your dream come true. You are welcome to try that, but for the majority of people it will be a journey or a quest. It will be something that takes time to take shape. You need to be honest with yourself. Is this the right direction? Am I in the right place to make my dreams come true?

Maybe It’s Time…

From time to time, people get a buzzing feeling that it’s time. When you get that feeling—act on it. If it feels right, if the time is right—do it. Just DO IT!

Allow Yourself Space

When you are lying in bed at night, think about the wide blackness of space. Look at the planets, look at the distance between Earth and the other planets in our solar system. Now imagine that your journey is between Earth and Jupiter. How would you make that journey? What would you need? How long would it take? Problem solving skills are going to be very important to you as you follow the path leading to your dreams—ask yourself questions and come up with the answers. The more you come up with answers, the more you will think outside the box.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 9

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This fear is known as a fear of being worthy.

Sometimes we all struggle with feeling like we deserve the things we get out of life. It’s hard to accept at times that we are meant to be happy, that we are meant to do all the things we want to do. It’s also hard to understand that sometimes others will not be happy about our successes—sometimes people will be jealous, angry or upset that we have achieved things. But that doesn’t mean that we should feel unworthy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step to recognizing this phobia is to try and find the moments when you turn down an opportunity due to not feeling good enough, strong enough or intelligent enough to take a chance. Have you ever felt not “good” enough, or strong enough, or as though you don’t “deserve” to have something good happen to you? When we can examine these moments, we can deal with the way we feel. It’s important to pick up on these feelings to deal with them. So when you find yourself in a good position—where something good is happening—if you suddenly feel negative, try to isolate that feeling. That’s the phobia we need to fix.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Yes, You Can

If you wake up in the morning and you feel that you can’t face something, realize you can face it. There’s nothing to it. Just jump up, have a coffee, pace yourself and roll right into it. Yes, you may be terrified deep down inside, but on the surface you can look as cool as a cucumber. Fake it until you make it.

Who Says You Can’t?

So you just landed the opportunity of a lifetime. Nobody thinks you can turn it into anything—but you can! You don’t need me to tell you about your own talents. You have all the talent you need to turn this project into a success. Don’t listen to too many people who say you can’t—that’s bound to make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Instead, listen to those who say you can.

Careful Means Success

There are two ways to handle a situation you are unsure of. You can rush in and make mistakes; or you can careful manoeuvre yourself and make it a success. If you are unsure of your talent—if you lack the confidence to feel that you can do it—take it slowly and learn as you go. Your confidence will grow with every success.

Connect

A friend in need is a friend forever, if treated correctly. The friend you make today may be the one who offers you a job in a few years. If you are lacking confidence or skills, or if you don’t feel worthy, make friends and allow those friendships to build your confidence. The more support you get, the better you will feel about what you are doing.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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It’s Warrior Wednesday: …If Only He Came Soon….

TODAY’S FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.

Have you ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and in disarray about a situation in your life…. where you wished and thought, if only God had intervened soon enough, your loved one would not have died? If Only God had intervened soon enough, the business or dream you were trying to make happen would not have collapsed? If Only, He had come soon enough, things would not have turned out the way it did.

  “Lord if only…Lord if only… Lord if Only!”

Many are afraid to admit this but there have been times in my life where I just didn’t understand the initial outcome of a promise I knew God had deposited into my life, or why I put so much work into something or someone and it turns sour when I was sure it was God who’d asked me to do that or forge that relationship.

TODAY’S SPIRITUAL EXPLORATION:
Join me in exploring some scriptural verses today to help ease our minds:
John 11:39 New International Version(NIV) John 11: 1-45
39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Imagine a loved one gravely ill; your family members prayed and fasted and at the end of the day, that loved one dies… How do you reconcile with this?

Now imagine, a dream you had nursed for long, you have pumped all that you had in it, prayerfully considering your path, pushing forward because you really believed you were made to solve that problem through your innovative idea. At the end of the day, things did not happen the way you envisioned.

Imagine a relationship you were truly dedicated to building, knowing that this person is who you will live the rest of your life with; or go into business with, or perhaps you were meant to mentor, but then it all ended in painful breakups.

The Story of Lazarus:
The story in John 11 is that of Lazarus. He fell gravely ill and his family did all they could to get Jesus attention to visit. When he finally got to the town, he was met with mourners in sack clothes … there was much wailing and turmoil. Many probably did not understand what Jesus was doing as he walked among them examining their countenance. I can imagine all of the murmuring and some saying, what is Jesus doing here? Didn’t He realize that the man – Lazarus is now dead? Some even said it to his face, don’t you see or know that Lazarus has been dead for 4 days? When we needed you to come, you did not show up? What could you possible do now that his body is decaying?

Jesus Response to the People’s Behavior:
How could they have doubted the father? How could they have doubted that he did not hear them? How could they have doubted that He knew exactly what had happened and that he was still the same person who’d performed much miracles before Lazarus death?

But that God many be glorified and that he (Jesus) fulfills his promise…he called out to Lazarus.. and commanded him to come forth from underneath the grave. Immediately, the stones covering the mouth of the tomb were pushed back and Lazarus came out.
300px-'The_Raising_of_Lazarus',_tempera_and_gold_on_panel_by_Duccio_di_Buoninsegna,_1310–11,_Kimbell_Art_Museum                        Source: The Raising of Lazarus, by Duccio, 1310–11

While we may not understand why it takes Forever for God to answer our prayers, He has heard us the very first time we made our request.  Often the answers are waiting for us to fully align with God’s words, be ready to receive it, having the right attitude to sustain the answer.

Wisdom Nugget for Today:
Take the limits off GOD! Take the limits off His Power. He is God who answers ALL prayers and because He sees the future more than we do, HE ANSWERS THE WAY HE KNOWS IT WILL EVENTUALLY BENEFIT US.

In the case of Lazarus, Jesus was not 4 days late but HE WAS RIGHT ON TIME. Likewise, whatever the dream is that seems dead right now, if you take the limits off God, HE will breathe life into it and cause it to prosper at the right time. Our time is never His time. He owns the past, the present and the future and because He knows your DNA, He will never allow any vision, dreams, or goals to crush you ..which can happen if fulfilled sooner.

Today, choose to take the limit off God…. Move into the realm of possibilities, trusting that he knows the right time to release that which you have asked. Continue to abide in the will of the father for your life, crushing every fear, every doubts, every past pains from failure with the understanding that today’s FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.


Until
Next Time,
Be Inspired, Be Motivated, Be Of Sentimental Value, Be Authentic

Dr. Princess Fumi S. Hancock, BSN, MA, DNP.
Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Behavioral Health & Transformation Interventionist
http://www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

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(C) Copyright 2016   The Princess of Suburbia (R).

It’s Warrior Wednesday: Get Over Yourself & Out of Your Own Way!

Get Out Your Own Way!

get out of your own way

Many see success as a mystery because they have had so many unsuccessful ventures &/or relationships that they have now resolved that perhaps they are not meant to succeed.

On today’s episode, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock will talk frankly and help you understand why you have failed or things are not going quite well in your life. LISTEN HERE!

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(c) 2015 Princess of Suburbia (R) Original posting at yourinneryou.com