Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 14

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to take a look at sociophobia, a crippling fear that can stop you reaching your full potential, and can even stop you from living a normal, everyday life.

Sociophobia is the fear of society or people. People with this phobia find it hard to even have or maintain friendships.

The origin of the word socio is Latin (meaning interpersonal relationships) and phobia is Greek (meaning fear). Sociophobia is considered to be a social phobia, which is discussed on the home page. Sociophobia is also known as anthropophobia and related to phobanthropy, which is a morbid dread of being around other people and of human society in general.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The symptoms of sociophobia can vary greatly by person depending on their level of fear. The symptoms typically include extreme anxiety, dread and anything associated with panic such as shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, excessive sweating, nausea, dry mouth, nausea, inability to articulate words or sentences, dry mouth and shaking. If you are finding you’re sweating with an increased heartbeat when in the presence of people, you may well be suffering from sociophobia.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Recognizing Negative Thoughts

The first step is to identify the automatic negative thoughts that underlie your fear of social situations. For example, if you’re worried about an upcoming work presentation, the underlying negative thought might be: “I’m going to blow it. Everyone will think I’m completely incompetent.”

Challenge Everything!

It helps to ask yourself questions about the negative thoughts: “Do I know for sure that I’m going to blow the presentation?” or “Even if I’m nervous, will people necessarily think I’m incompetent?” Through this logical evaluation of your negative thoughts, you can gradually replace them with more realistic and positive ways of looking at social situations that trigger your anxiety.

Feel No Fear

It can be incredibly frightening to think about why you feel and think the way you do about social situations, but understanding the reasons for your anxieties will help lessen their negative impact on your life.

Look Around You!

In order to reduce self-focus, pay attention to what is happening around you, rather than monitoring yourself or focusing on symptoms of anxiety in your body. Try looking at those around you, the sky, trees, plants or anything else that is going on in your vicinity. Focus on the world at large.

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Publishing Your Book: Amazon Free Giveaways: Part Seven

once uponAfter writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

One of the basic things you can do to raise awareness of your book on Amazon is to set up a free giveaway through the KDP system. This is an opt-in system that you can choose to join. KDP allows you five days per enrolment period. You can use those five days together or separately; and during each day of free giveaway, your book will be available for people to download for free from Amazon. It’s pretty simple, eh? Well not entirely. There are still problems, the chief one being that you still need to drive traffic to the Amazon page and encourage people to download the book.

The upside to this is that if the promotion is done properly, you will get a huge dose of publicity and a run of strong paid sales. These paid sales will drive your rankings and will turn into more sales. It takes some time to set up a successful giveaway—but it can pay off in a big way.

Free Doesn’t Mean Desirable

There are thousands of books available for free download every single month. Just because you have your book available for free, it doesn’t mean that thousands of people will automatically download it. You have to ask yourself a few questions. The first is: Does my book have an audience? The second is: Where are the people who like my book spending their time online? The third is: How am I going to reach that audience? Don’t just rely on a book being free to drive interest—try to actually seek out your audience and present them with the opportunity to download your book.

Using Freebooksy and Other Free Book Mailing Lists

There are a lot of aids to help you drive your book to a bigger audience. One of the biggest is a mailing list called Freebooksy. This is a large mailing list that goes out to readers via email. You can get your book placed on the list, if you meet their criteria, and you will find that their subscribers will start downloading your book. There are other services like this—Bookbub, etc. that perform the same job.

Rankings

Being the number one free downloaded book doesn’t mean you will necessarily become the number one paid book. It’s easier to gain a number one when the book is free, but you may find it more of a struggle to reach the paid number one position. Don’t be concerned when your free giveaway ends and you go back into the paid rankings—you may be ranked far lower—but the chances are that your ranking will climb due to the publicity you’ve received from the free giveaway.

Banners

Some authors like to add a banner to the front of their book cover. The banner can draw attention to the fact the book is free, or will be free, and people who see the book on Amazon will see the banner. Little techniques like this can really help boost your free giveaway and draw attention to your book.

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Publishing Your Book: Amazon: Part Six

once uponAfter writing a book, many people want to know how one goes about publishing a book. A well-known author once said recently that “it’s no great feat to get one’s book published—it’s no great mountain to climb.” He is right, but his opinion is subjective. To you, reading this blog, it is a huge mountain to climb to get your book published. There are many paths you can take up that mountain, but it is still a huge feat.

Amazon is a huge online seller, who have recently moved into brick and mortar stores. Sales take place on Amazon every single second of every single day. For an author, it’s almost essential for you to have your book placed on Amazon, and those authors who ignore Amazon are making things much harder for themselves. In this article, I’d like to go over some of the details of working with Amazon. We will begin with rankings.

Rankings

As soon as you make your first sale on Amazon, your book will gain a ranking. The ranking shows how well your book is selling. The slower your sales, the further your ranking will fall. There are many millions of books on Amazon, so your ranking can, quite easily, be in the millions. As you sell more books, your ranking will climb. Several sales an hour will see your book inch slowly up the bestseller charts. When your book reaches a high enough position with its ranking, it will start to figure in the category’s top 100s. These are the 100 bestselling books in your chosen categories. Featuring in those top 100s will give you more exposure and more sales.

Searching for Books

The keywords you choose when you upload your book to Amazon will feature heavily when it comes to having your book found by readers. So think carefully about the way people search for books in your genre. Do they search for “action-thrillers,” or do they search for “books like Ben Hur?” How do people find the books? Get out your pen and paper and list how you personally find the books you read, but be aware you can’t use the names of famous people in your keywords—so don’t get caught with “books with John Wayne” as you are highly likely to get a warning from Amazon about using such terms.

Pricing

Pricing is key to selling books. Look at the other books in your genre and see how they are priced. Also make sure to note the length of your book. If you have a short, 30-page book, it may be best to price it at 99 cents. If your book is a huge bonanza—try $3.99, and don’t be afraid to try price promotions, either.

Cover

Be sure to look at the cover you’ve put together for your book, and remember that people will only see it as a little thumbnail. Does your cover stand out when it’s a third of its size as a thumbnail? Some authors put together exceptional covers without ever realizing that browsing readers will only ever see a small image of their cover. If it doesn’t stand out, people aren’t going to buy the book.

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It’s Warrior Wednesday, and You Know That Today Is the Day

once uponIf you’re awake today, you can achieve today…

What have you done today? That’s a question many of us are asked on a daily basis. What did you do today? How did your day go? I’m asking you that right now. What did you do today? The answer may be that you did absolutely nothing, or perhaps you helped the homeless. Perhaps you just went to work and caught some dinner with your workmates. My next question, however, is… How did your life change today?

Now that sounds like a major deal—and it is—but not as major as you may think. It’s actually a case of looking at your day and seeing where you made a difference. Did you make a new friend? Did you help out a colleague? Did you achieve something that makes you proud? Did something happen that made you smile? Changing your life is a major thing, but if you look at the daily achievements, you will find that your life is changing all the time. Today is the day to make the most of your life—so is tomorrow, and so was yesterday. Every time you go to bed, ask yourself: “What made today my day?” Let’s look at a few steps that will help you find the life changing moments that happen to us, sometimes without us ever knowing, every single day.

Little by Little

So, today was a major disaster. You upset your boss, dropped coffee on your desk and had an awful dinner with a client. There was nothing to redeem your day at all, or was there? How about that lady who smiled at you in the cafe? How about the guy who said ‘hi’ in the grocery store? These are the highlights of your day—and the life changing moments you can look back on.

Love Is All You Need

In every single life, there has to be a certain amount of love. Sometimes it’s a neighbor mowing our lawn, a husband giving us moral support, a wife giving us a hug. Even during our worst moments, a human life is filled with love. Love is also a life changing event. Every single time love is shown to a human, we know that we have achieved the best feeling a human can achieve.

Negativity Sucks

You can’t find anything good about your day? You’re not looking deep enough. Surely, there was something that happened. Look back over your day, retrace your steps and find the life changing moments. I can assure that you that every single day, something good happened to you—you just need to search for it.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 11

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential—a fear called Megalophobia by experts, but known as a fear of large objects.

Trauma, most often occurring during childhood, is usually the root of any phobia. Perhaps the person with megalophobia got lost in a large city as a child. Or maybe they were attacked by a large animal, or what would appear to them to be a large animal. Whatever causes this phobia—it will stop you from performing your best on a day-to-day basis.

Recognizing Your Phobia

Symptoms of megalophobia will vary from person to person depending on a variety of factors but especially their level of fear towards large objects. General symptoms, however, typically include anxiety or feeling uncomfortable, especially around large objects or city environments, avoidance of areas which have large objects, feeling small, feeling out of control, delusions, hallucinations, and more.

Furthermore, if a person with megalophobia is exposed to anything that is of a large size, they could possibly experience a panic attack. These are roughly defined as heightened states of anxiety or terror, which come along with other, personal symptoms manifested by the fear. Symptoms of a panic attack include rapid heart rate, breathing difficulties, feeling a loss of control, tingling or numbness, excessive sweating, chills, and chest pain.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Therapy

Therapy is a great place to start. Various types of therapy will work, both to treat the phobia and understand the cause of it. Although, with megalophobia, some types of therapy are more effective than others. For instance, shock or exposure therapy puts someone in an environment with large objects. This repeated exposure helps to desensitize the person and eventually gets rid of the fear of large things.

The World in Which We Live

Sometimes, it all comes down to realizing that the world we live in today is a big and, in many cases, dangerous place to live. Sometimes you just need to take a deep breath and leave your comfort zone. By making that decision, you will be taking an adventure—an adventure that could lead anywhere and to many places. Sometimes a hint of adventure is the one thing that can help you get over your phobias.

Calm

It takes a smart person to realize that all situations can be handled—but must be handled in different ways. If you are starting a new job, try taking your first few days steadily. Get to grips with the tasks at hand. It’s like dating. You take it slowly and build to a crescendo. Just take things one step at a time, and you’ll find that you will make few mistakes. Take the smallest steps to begin a big journey.

Meditation

Many people feel that it meditation helps them prepare and take on the problems they are facing. Meditation can be done on a daily basis, at any time, and can help calm your mind. Once your mind is calm, you can face any problem you have ahead with clear judgement.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 9

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This fear is known as a fear of being worthy.

Sometimes we all struggle with feeling like we deserve the things we get out of life. It’s hard to accept at times that we are meant to be happy, that we are meant to do all the things we want to do. It’s also hard to understand that sometimes others will not be happy about our successes—sometimes people will be jealous, angry or upset that we have achieved things. But that doesn’t mean that we should feel unworthy.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step to recognizing this phobia is to try and find the moments when you turn down an opportunity due to not feeling good enough, strong enough or intelligent enough to take a chance. Have you ever felt not “good” enough, or strong enough, or as though you don’t “deserve” to have something good happen to you? When we can examine these moments, we can deal with the way we feel. It’s important to pick up on these feelings to deal with them. So when you find yourself in a good position—where something good is happening—if you suddenly feel negative, try to isolate that feeling. That’s the phobia we need to fix.

Overcoming Your Phobia

Yes, You Can

If you wake up in the morning and you feel that you can’t face something, realize you can face it. There’s nothing to it. Just jump up, have a coffee, pace yourself and roll right into it. Yes, you may be terrified deep down inside, but on the surface you can look as cool as a cucumber. Fake it until you make it.

Who Says You Can’t?

So you just landed the opportunity of a lifetime. Nobody thinks you can turn it into anything—but you can! You don’t need me to tell you about your own talents. You have all the talent you need to turn this project into a success. Don’t listen to too many people who say you can’t—that’s bound to make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Instead, listen to those who say you can.

Careful Means Success

There are two ways to handle a situation you are unsure of. You can rush in and make mistakes; or you can careful manoeuvre yourself and make it a success. If you are unsure of your talent—if you lack the confidence to feel that you can do it—take it slowly and learn as you go. Your confidence will grow with every success.

Connect

A friend in need is a friend forever, if treated correctly. The friend you make today may be the one who offers you a job in a few years. If you are lacking confidence or skills, or if you don’t feel worthy, make friends and allow those friendships to build your confidence. The more support you get, the better you will feel about what you are doing.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 8

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential. This is a fear of losing your freedom.

Sometimes, success means that we have less time to do the things we want. Many of us just take this as a given—Rome wasn’t built on vacations, after all. But for some people, the fear of actually losing their free time is so crippling they would rather not have any part in a more successful and productive life.

This is sometimes called a fear of commitment, and it really is. It’s a gripping fear that will stop you getting involved in some of the most life-changing aspects of your life. These aspects can range from marriage, all the way up to taking an executive position in a company.

Recognizing Your Phobia

The first step is overcoming your fear of commitment is working out what you’re actually afraid of. Because—and you might not realize this—you’re not actually afraid of commitment.

Overcoming Your Phobia

More Freedom Feeds Freedom

If you wake up when you want to, to go to a job that is an expression of what you really believe in, hang out with inspiring people who value your opinion and demand that you do what you’re really passionate about, then you’re not going to really care about those few hours at night, and commitment won’t seem like such a scary proposition.

You’re going to feel free already, regardless of what happens between 6pm and 10pm.

Fulfil Desires

If you are using your time to fulfil your desires, you are going to feel accomplished. If you feel accomplished, you are not going to feel so stressed about commitment or losing freedom. If you spend your days doing the things you want, you can use the nights to do things that wouldn’t necessarily be your first choice of activity.

Careful Relationships

If you are careful about the relationships you allow to grow, you will find that your commitment to them isn’t stifling at all. The stifling relationships are the ones we don’t want, and when we are feeling trapped, those are the ones we will fight hardest against. Be careful who you create a relationship with, and you should find commitment easier to handle.

Friends

As with many problems, a problem shared is a problem halved. Do you have someone in your life that you trust? If you do, then now might be the time to turn to them for some help. If you don’t—you may need to correct that problem first. If you are without anyone with whom to share your problems, you need to start creating careful relationships.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
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David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia Chimes In!

David Bowie Dies at 69! A Legacy Lesson for All! Princess of Suburbia, Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, Chimes In!

David-Bowie_Chicago_2002-08-08_photoby_Adam-Bielawski-croppedI woke up to the sad news of David Bowie…Dies at 69! Understanding how his family may be feeling as I had just lost a brother barely 6 days ago, my first inclination was to find out what legacy he left behind. While many may be stuck on how he died, I have a different view about it. I shared this on my periscope broadcast today (CLICK HERE).

Many who follow me on periscope (@PrincessinSub) and BLABTV (www.blab.im/PrincessinSub) know how passionate I am on the importance of writing our Legacy Statement and allowing that legacy statement to point us to our true calling or passion or life purpose, as you may call it. David Bowie exemplified that.

photo by_Adam-Bielawski

Here is why:
(1). Every media outlet I turned to this morning said one great thing about his legacy: that he was “a master re-inventor and a compassionate business man.” This is a legacy his family should be incredibly proud of. It was amazing that not many talked about how much he made but more on the lives he impacted while he was with us. This is a legacy worth celebrating for generations to come.
(2). Another media outlet talked about the fact that he was someone who tried things and when it didn’t work, he knew when to let go, then re-invent his life purpose. Because he was great at it, his music cut across generations. While many artists in his generation may have faded away, he remained known. He was also a family man, who kept his family as private as he could.
(3). Once he re-engineered his life purpose, he worked at it. As a matter of fact, David Bowe’s last music was released last week, few days before he turned 69.

Here is a question for you today, if you took your last breath today, what would your legacy be?

Live Life Full, Leave It Empty

ElectronicSignature1

 

 

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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It’s Warrior Wednesday: …If Only He Came Soon….

TODAY’S FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.

Have you ever felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and in disarray about a situation in your life…. where you wished and thought, if only God had intervened soon enough, your loved one would not have died? If Only God had intervened soon enough, the business or dream you were trying to make happen would not have collapsed? If Only, He had come soon enough, things would not have turned out the way it did.

  “Lord if only…Lord if only… Lord if Only!”

Many are afraid to admit this but there have been times in my life where I just didn’t understand the initial outcome of a promise I knew God had deposited into my life, or why I put so much work into something or someone and it turns sour when I was sure it was God who’d asked me to do that or forge that relationship.

TODAY’S SPIRITUAL EXPLORATION:
Join me in exploring some scriptural verses today to help ease our minds:
John 11:39 New International Version(NIV) John 11: 1-45
39 “Take away the stone,” he said.
“But, Lord,” said Martha, the sister of the dead man, “by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days.”

Imagine a loved one gravely ill; your family members prayed and fasted and at the end of the day, that loved one dies… How do you reconcile with this?

Now imagine, a dream you had nursed for long, you have pumped all that you had in it, prayerfully considering your path, pushing forward because you really believed you were made to solve that problem through your innovative idea. At the end of the day, things did not happen the way you envisioned.

Imagine a relationship you were truly dedicated to building, knowing that this person is who you will live the rest of your life with; or go into business with, or perhaps you were meant to mentor, but then it all ended in painful breakups.

The Story of Lazarus:
The story in John 11 is that of Lazarus. He fell gravely ill and his family did all they could to get Jesus attention to visit. When he finally got to the town, he was met with mourners in sack clothes … there was much wailing and turmoil. Many probably did not understand what Jesus was doing as he walked among them examining their countenance. I can imagine all of the murmuring and some saying, what is Jesus doing here? Didn’t He realize that the man – Lazarus is now dead? Some even said it to his face, don’t you see or know that Lazarus has been dead for 4 days? When we needed you to come, you did not show up? What could you possible do now that his body is decaying?

Jesus Response to the People’s Behavior:
How could they have doubted the father? How could they have doubted that he did not hear them? How could they have doubted that He knew exactly what had happened and that he was still the same person who’d performed much miracles before Lazarus death?

But that God many be glorified and that he (Jesus) fulfills his promise…he called out to Lazarus.. and commanded him to come forth from underneath the grave. Immediately, the stones covering the mouth of the tomb were pushed back and Lazarus came out.
300px-'The_Raising_of_Lazarus',_tempera_and_gold_on_panel_by_Duccio_di_Buoninsegna,_1310–11,_Kimbell_Art_Museum                        Source: The Raising of Lazarus, by Duccio, 1310–11

While we may not understand why it takes Forever for God to answer our prayers, He has heard us the very first time we made our request.  Often the answers are waiting for us to fully align with God’s words, be ready to receive it, having the right attitude to sustain the answer.

Wisdom Nugget for Today:
Take the limits off GOD! Take the limits off His Power. He is God who answers ALL prayers and because He sees the future more than we do, HE ANSWERS THE WAY HE KNOWS IT WILL EVENTUALLY BENEFIT US.

In the case of Lazarus, Jesus was not 4 days late but HE WAS RIGHT ON TIME. Likewise, whatever the dream is that seems dead right now, if you take the limits off God, HE will breathe life into it and cause it to prosper at the right time. Our time is never His time. He owns the past, the present and the future and because He knows your DNA, He will never allow any vision, dreams, or goals to crush you ..which can happen if fulfilled sooner.

Today, choose to take the limit off God…. Move into the realm of possibilities, trusting that he knows the right time to release that which you have asked. Continue to abide in the will of the father for your life, crushing every fear, every doubts, every past pains from failure with the understanding that today’s FAILURE is a platform for TOMORROW’S GREATNESS.


Until
Next Time,
Be Inspired, Be Motivated, Be Of Sentimental Value, Be Authentic

Dr. Princess Fumi S. Hancock, BSN, MA, DNP.
Author, Screenwriter, Speaker, Behavioral Health & Transformation Interventionist
http://www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

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