I Teach…

fear11As a follow up article to last week’s discussion about the importance of communication, I’d like mention a few more thoughts. These are proven techniques to increase your communication skills. If you are having trouble connecting with your coaching clients, or having trouble making them understand what you are saying, you may want to give these tips a chance. As a great communicator, it’s important for you to be able to listen and show your client how much you value what they are telling you. It’s important to maintain eye contact. It’s also important for them to feel comfortable with you. Let’s work through the list.

Share, Express and Love

Instead of jumping right in to your meeting, why don’t you try to express your thanks for the other individual’s time? Time is an extremely precious resource, and it important to be respectful and considerate of that. Also, complement or recognize any positive contribution they are making. Appreciation and praise can go a long way towards building good rapport.

Connect and Appeal

Connect on a personal level if possible. Look for places where interests overlap. Even in a professional situation, there may be some personal interests in common: hobbies, sports, children, music, career choices. Take care to avoid controversial topics like politics or religious beliefs. A real sense of connection makes a difference in the tone and outcome of the current conversation and most likely future communications, as well.

Be Exuberant… Be Positive

Maintaining a positive attitude is crucial to productive communications. Be constructive rather than negative or complaining. People shut down, effectively ending any real communication when they feel attacked or criticized. Be encouraging and kind, even when expressing concerns or displeasure.

Just Focus

It’s important to figure out what result you are after before you start any kind of dialogue. Knowing your objective helps you to direct the conversation and to remain on point. What are you hoping to accomplish? Are you trying to give help, resolve a conflict, or collaborate on a project or issue? Are you seeking advice or trying to influence behavior? Your desired outcome helps to determine the flow of communication.

Don’t Talk All the Time… Listen All the Time

Eye contact is crucial when you are meeting someone face-to-face. Try to be polite and, whatever you do, don’t interrupt. No one likes being interrupted, and though it’s natural to want to rush in to make your point, it’s very disrespectful of the other person’s thoughts. Try to understand the other person’s perspective. Maintain an open mind.

Do They Understand?

Try to confirm that you have a mutual understanding of what’s being communicated. We often think that we’ve reached a resolution and come to an understanding, only to find out that we have completely misunderstood the other person’s thoughts. Ask for input and feedback. This not only confirms that you have successfully communicated, it also makes the other person feel that they have been heard and understood.

Always try to end your communication in a friendly manner. Remember to reiterate your thanks and try to leave the other individual feeling understood and valued. Productive communication involves respect, consideration, awareness, and clarity. It is possible to be both direct and kind and still get the results you want.

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I Teach…

sleepAs a coach, you have to be able to communicate with people. It’s crucial to keep the conversation rolling and to understand how people communicate. This blog article is all about communication. If you want to be able to really help people, you have to think like the people you are trying to help. Why don’t you try these new tips to try and get the best out of your coaching sessions?

What Subject?

It’s important for you to try and get a feeling for what the other person wants to talk about. Different people like talking about different things. Finding what the other person enjoys talking about could mean the difference between a humming conversation and a faltering one.

Be a Good Listener, Be a Good Friend

A conversation is a free flow of ideas. Those ideas, however, should be interconnected. If you listen closely to what the other person is saying, you’ll be able to store away nuggets of information that will keep the conversation going.

Be Aware of the World

When you run out of things to talk about in a conversation, it can be helpful to talk about other things that are going on in the world. Try and keep ahead of the news so you can find common points of interest with your coaching client. It’s good to be on the same page.

Body Language Says It All

People listen to your words and your body language when you’re talking to them. It is said that our body language accounts for 55% of whether we are liked. Nod every so often and lean forward, face the other person and don’t fidget. These are two important tips to know about your body language.

Project the Confidence Your Client Wants

It’s no secret that other people are naturally attracted to individuals who have confidence. It may seem unfair, but it’s a fact of life—people will judge you based on your own internal confidence. If your confidence level is high and you’re fun to be around, people will cut you breaks when conversation slacks, or make up for lulls in the conversation by trying harder themselves.

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I Write…

once uponWriting content sounds very easy. It’s just a case of sitting down and pouring forth ideas, right? Well… it’s not really that easy. It has to be structured. You have to know what you are going to write, how you’re going to write it, and how the reader will react to it. You have to understand that the reader can click off your website at any moment. You want to keep them there, but you don’t know how. Why don’t you follow the rules of writing content? Let’s take a look at them.

What Do You Want to Achieve?

One major reason for taking your time when writing content is to decide what it is you want to say. What are you hoping your content will accomplish? Is the purpose of your article to explain how something works, put a customer on a determined conversion path, build brand trust? Whatever goal you’ve decided on, have it in mind before you start writing.

And Your Point Is…

Every piece of content you write should have a pretty big hook built into it. Whether it’s a current event, a problem, a joke or an educational piece, you want to decide how you’re going to draw people in. Keeping the hook in mind will help you frame your article and organize it in your head. It will also determine the writing style that you use. Give it a try.

Walk Like a Panther… Think Like Your Reader

Before you put your fingers to the keyboard, get into the heads of your audience because your content is for them. If you’re attempting to explain something, talk about it from their point of view. How deeply would they need something broken down? Which terms would they use? Where might they get confused? Put yourself in the place of your customers and write like they would.

Read Your Content Out Loud and Proud

If you want to improve your content, read it to yourself before you publish it. If you find yourself stumbling over something or think you’re being bland, it may turn your reader off. I never publish or commit to any piece of writing before I’ve read it aloud to myself several times. If you try this technique, you will find yourself writing much better content.

And Then Root Out the Typos

Everyone falls victim to typos. Be careful and re-read your work. Even the biggest books from the biggest publishers have a typo hiding in their best selling books. Take your time, root them out and then publish when you know you’ve done your best.

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I Teach…

coachFew people realize this, but you can actually be your OWN life coach. Seriously. You can absolutely coach yourself to success. If you have the time and the self-confidence to look within yourself to work out all the crinkles and issues that are holding you back, you may find this to be a very beneficial way of discovering if coaching is for you.

Dig Deep and Begin the Search…

One of the main things a life coach will help you do is find out what really drives you, and what you’re really looking to achieve. Too often, we find ourselves following the wrong path or chasing the wrong thing simply because we believe it’s what we want. The truth of the matter is that what we really want can be very different to what we think we want. Whether it’s down to external pressures or expectations, we can really find ourselves off our true track.
This can be a very enlightening search as you may find that all the goals you truly thought you were aiming for are wrong. You may find that decisions you made do not hold up when the cold light of day is shone on them. You have to dig deep to really find out your purpose—so give it a try!

Ask Yourself the Right Questions

While sitting quietly by yourself, ask yourself what you truly want to do. Forget about financial issues, problems with work, or issues with your partner, and ask yourself what you really want to do with yourself. Do you want to do jigsaws? Fight for a place in the Senate? Read books until the end of time? What do you want? When you can put your finger on what you truly want to do, you will find true satisfaction, and you will know where to put the majority of your efforts.

Examine Your Life Carefully

Some people want to get ahead in their careers, start a brand new business, lose that extra weight, become socially acceptable, or become more confident. You need to know what you are aiming for. To do this, it’s important to take a full examination to see where you currently stand.

Everything Is Listening…

Each area of your life is connected. It’s really important for you to take a good look at the overall picture and see how each part works. If you are having a poor home life, it will change the way you work. If you are under pressure to be a certain way, it will change your mood. To really become the powerhouse I know you can be—you have to have a good work-life balance. Too much negativity and you may overdose.

Be a Goal Breaker and a Trend Setter

Once you have an idea about what you want, you can see where you need to make improvements. Now, making an improvement isn’t an overnight thing, so don’t expect it to be. Also keep in mind that most people don’t change—so to make changes is to be a trend setter. Isn’t that wonderful?

At the start, you don’t have to know exactly how you’ll reach your goal, you just have to figure out how to make progress towards your goal. For example—if you want a driving lesson but haven’t even been in a car, you may want to take part in a car journey.

The Pen is Mightier… Always

Try to avoid using computer-based documents and spreadsheets for the goals you want to accomplish. Use a notepad or a diary that can be exclusively used for this process. There is far more power in the handwritten word than the typed word. You will find yourself taking goals more seriously if you write them down.

Express Yourself, Reward Yourself

Yes. We are making changes to our lives—but let’s not become overzealous. It’s important to enjoy life, and reward yourself. A life coach will provide you with encouragement when you’re able to achieve what you set out to achieve.

This positive reinforcement builds confidence and allows you to set your sights higher and higher. Don’t forget to actually pat yourself on the back. It feels good—seriously.

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I Speak…

fearsThe biggest factor holding many would-be public speakers back is fear. Fear is a deciding factor—and this article is all about taming that fear to your advantage. While some readers are conquered by their fear and make grievous mistakes, others can channel their fear and become outstanding public speakers. Here’s how…

Embrace Your Nervousness

All you have to do is admit that you are a little bit nervous speaking to your audience. When you do this, the audience will be more forgiving if your nervousness shows up later on. More importantly, you will feel more relaxed now that they are not expecting a world-class presentation. Imagine their surprise when you give them the best presentation ever despite your nervousness. One of the best ways to allow your audience in on your fear is to joke about it. Try starting your speech with a joke about how nervous you are. It may just be the deciding factor.

Make Mistakes Intentionally

This is another tip I would encourage. The idea is to gain control of your audience. If you can make them laugh and be more interactive with you, your presentation will have that casual feel to it, which will make it memorable. Ultimately, you will find it easier to do. Try it to see if it works for you.

Redefine Your Audience

Redefining your audience generally means changing how you see your audience. Instead of seeing them as lecturers who are evaluating you, maybe you can convince yourself that they are all fellow students who are waiting to present after you. They are all equally nervous, so there is no reason why you should be, too.

Use Visual Aids As Much As You Can

Imagine a presentation with beautiful slide presentations and even more impressive notes given to each of your audience members. Most of the time, their attention will not be on you. They will read through the notes and watch your presentation. This will help a lot as you can then speak to the people who are not looking at you. When they look at you, you just change your focus to other people who are not looking. Giving a speech to people who are not looking at you is always easier. It’s just like taking a Skype call.

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I Write…

once uponThis blog article is all about self-publishing your book through Amazon KDP. There are many different opinions about the world of Amazon. Some say that it’s the greatest platform for writers—other say it’s a platform you should strive to be on. In this article, I want to look at four myths about self-publishing that you may have heard of, and the truth about those myths…

“You don’t need a physical version of your book…”

CreateSpace is an amazing company that can print your book on demand. You can have a physical copy of your book. Why would you actually stop yourself from having a physical copy of your book? Why would you deny yourself a product that many people will buy? Did you know that the majority of non-fiction books are sold as hard copies? Don’t discount the power of the printed word.

“It’s easy to get your self-published book into book stores…”

Most authors can tell you that getting placement for your book in a bookstore is hard. Bookstores only want to give space to proven authors. There’s a self-publishing company called Lighting Source, which has a relationship with Ingram books. Ingram distributes books to all the major bookstores. Ingram can get your book in a bookstore’s catalog but not necessarily in the actual bookstore. Don’t be sold on expensive programs that promise to get you into stores. Research thoroughly and do it yourself.

“You don’t have to market your book because Amazon is too big to fail…”

It doesn’t matter how good your book is, your book will sell or languish depending on the marketing that is done. Remember the hundreds of thousands of books that are published every year? Many good books go unnoticed. Writing a good book is just the start. Marketing gets the book noticed and persuades people to buy it. Don’t think for a second that Amazon will do the marketing for you—they won’t.

“One book will make you rich…”

Successful self-published authors have multiple books. It’s possible for one book to take off, but that’s the rare exception, not the rule. Multiple books, especially series, give all of your books a better chance to sell. If someone buys one of your books and likes it, they’re likely to buy your other books. Don’t be caught in the trap of believing that one book will make you fantastically successful.

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It’s Warrior Wednesday, and You Make Your Own Music

fear11“The rhythm of life beats every single day… can’t you just feel it?”

Have you ever had a day where things just seem to work so well you can’t believe your luck? That’s the rhythm of life, and that rhythm is beating every single day—it’s just that on certain days it beats louder—and clearer—than on others. When it’s at its loudest, it will propel you through your day and allow you to meet objectives with ease.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could feed off the rhythm of life every single day? Can you imagine how unstoppable you would be? You would be like a human cannonball shooting through your days, making achievement after achievement count, and having the world hanging from your every word. The way many people tap into this rhythm is through meditation. So this week, I am going to share a meditation with you that may very well help you tap into that magic rhythm.

Choose your mantra

A mantra is a word or phrase that you silently repeat to yourself during meditation. The purpose of the mantra is to give you something to put your attention on other than your thoughts. You may use any phrase you like.

Find a comfortable place to sit

It’s best to find a quiet location where you won’t be disturbed. There is no need to sit cross-legged on the floor unless that is comfortable for you. You can sit on a chair or sofa or on the floor with your back against a wall. You may support yourself with cushions, pillows or blankets. The goal is to sit as upright as possible while still remaining comfortable.

Close your eyes

Once your eyes are closed, you can begin your meditation. Simply start by taking some deep breaths. Try taking a few “cleansing breaths” by inhaling slowly through your nose and then exhaling out your mouth. After a few cleansing breaths, continue to breathe at a normal, relaxed pace through your nose with your lips closed.

Slipping into your meditation

Allow yourself to slip into your meditation by repeating your mantra silently to yourself without moving your tongue or lips. The repetition of your mantra is always relaxed. The mantra does not need to correlate with the breath, though some people prefer to do so. As your meditation continues, allow the breath to fall away into its own rhythm. The repetition of your mantra should be next to effortless. Sometimes it is helpful to imagine that rather than repeating the mantra to yourself, you are actually listening to it being whispered in your ear.

No need to clear your mind

You will inevitably find that you drift away from the mantra. It is human nature for the mind to wander. Just allow your mind to go wherever it wishes, and find the rhythm of life. The further you get into your meditation, the more ideas will spring out at you; and as the ideas flow, you will hopefully start to feel rejuvenated and excited about the future.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Holding Back the Fears: Conquering Fears — Part 10

The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered. This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we are going to look at a fairly common fear that stops people from reaching their full potential—a fear called Atelophobia by experts, but known as a fear of imperfection to you and me.

Sometimes, we all struggle with the idea that we aren’t good enough. It’s a common enough assessment when we look at all the achievements of one person and stack them up against our own. I mean, if I were to try and stack the achievements of a great statesman up against my own—I may come out short. But does that make me less valuable as a human being? That’s the question millions of people around the world are asking themselves. Am I just too imperfect to be of use to society?

Recognizing Your Phobia

If you are finding yourself overcome with fear each time you consider doing something, then you may very well be suffering from a fear of imperfection. You may worry a lot about the idea of taking on a role or opportunity and finding out that you just aren’t cut out to do it. Do you turn down chances and opportunities? Do you want to stay away from the world and never have to deal with anything? Are you scared that your boss may discover that you may not be as good at your job as he thought you were?

Overcoming Your Phobia

Who IS Perfect?

Take a look around the world. What a hopeless mess it seems. Seriously. If you want to look at imperfection, you should start by looking at the world in which we live. We live with imperfection every single day, and that’s okay! It’s important to realize that nobody is perfect. Like every other human being, you can get things wrong, but there’s nothing wrong with that.

Being Wrong Isn’t Bad!

You know sometimes we all get things wrong. I do. I can guarantee at some point in life, every single human being has been wrong. But that isn’t bad. It’s all part of this giant learning curve we call life. It’s adventurous, it’s fun, and it’s all an experience. Don’t set out to be wrong—but if you are wrong… who cares? Learn from the experience and try again. As a famous man once said, “If at first you don’t succeed… try, try again!”

Fools Rush In…

It takes a smart person to realize that all situations can be handled—but must be handled in different ways. If you are starting a new job, try taking your first few days steadily. Get to grips with the tasks at hand. It’s like dating. You take it slowly and build to a crescendo. Just take things one step at a time, and you’ll find that you will make few mistakes.

Relax

Just relax! Even if your boss does realize you aren’t cut out for the job… the worst thing he or she can do is fire you. Relax, enjoy yourself and do what you want to do. Let nobody stand in your way.

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Holding Back The Fears: Being Rational: Part 5

fear1The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we will be looking at irrational fears.

Rationality and irrationality are two sides of the same coin. On one hand, you are able to see things for what they truly are. For those who are hit with irrational thoughts, the world becomes a dangerous place. Let’s investigate this further.

An irrational fear is an intense fear of something that, in reality, poses little or no actual danger. Common fears include closed-in places, heights, highway driving, flying insects, snakes, and needles. However, we can develop phobias of virtually anything. Most phobias develop in childhood, but they can also develop in adults.

If you have a fear, you probably realize that it’s probably unreasonable, yet you still can’t control your feelings. Just thinking about the feared object or situation may make you anxious. And when you’re actually exposed to the thing you fear, the terror is automatic and overwhelming.

The experience is so nerve-wracking that you may go to great lengths to avoid it—inconveniencing yourself or even changing your lifestyle. If you have claustrophobia, for example, you might turn down a lucrative job offer if you have to ride the elevator to get to the office. If you have a fear of heights, you might drive an extra thirty miles to avoid that big bridge.

Understanding your fear is the first step to overcoming it. It may help you to know that that irrational fears are highly treatable. You can overcome your anxiety and fear, no matter how out of control it feels.

Putting Your Irrational Fear to Bed…

Root Cause

When you become fixated on something that causes you fear, it’s helpful to face that fear by acknowledging it and desensitizing yourself to it. For example, there was a well-known singer who overcame a fear of elevators by spending his day going up and down in the elevator. If you are scared of snakes, insects or other such things, you may want to learn more about them online, or perhaps venture out to see them? By acknowledging them, you will realize that they pose you no harm.

Breathing

Deep breathing has been proven to calm your body by burning off the adrenaline that’s been released in panic. Slow down, clear your mind and count to ten. Focus on thinking clearly, factually, and do not react emotionally.

Objective Thinking

Yes, you may not like it. You may never love it. But can you accept it? Is your fear of something so bad that you would want to see it removed from the Earth? If yes… you may have to live your life around it. If no, you may find yourself slowly accepting whatever it is that scares you so badly.
Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
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Holding Back The Fears: Conquering Fears: Part 3

fear11The only thing normally holding many people back—and away from their dreams—is themselves. They suffer from terrible fears when they try to better their lives. Inner fears like frustration, failure and lack of confidence allow some to be talked out of success by their own demons. These fears control the lives of many people but can be conquered.

This new series of blog articles is all about fears that will hold you back—and how to conquer them. This week we will be looking at the fear of being successful.

A Fear of Not Being Able to Cope with Success

Success is infinitely more complex than failure. It’s more comfortable to stay in a very familiar place, even if that place isn’t what you think you want it to be. Success, however, means going into new territory. You are putting yourself out there to be scrutinized and criticized, and exposing yourself to new demands and pressures.

It’s only human to wonder whether you will be able to meet the challenge, and only natural that a small part of you would rather not take the risk.

Fear of Selling Out

Some creative personalities have a very tough time dealing with success. You want to succeed, but you don’t want success at all costs—especially not the loss of your artistic integrity.

This is a very common fear for those who make their living from their creations. Additionally, you will have to deal with the fact that whatever choice you make—whatever success you achieve—someone, somewhere will be thinking and saying unkind things about you. There’s always someone telling the world that you sold out.

Fear of Becoming Someone Else

Successful people are put on pedestals in our society. You may wonder if others won’t like or recognize the “new,” successful you. That idea can be frightening.

This fear does make some sense. If you were satisfied with the person you were before finding success, why would you want to change? But it’s a fallacy to believe that you have to change just because you found success. Change is good, but it doesn’t mean you have to change everything.

Defeating Your Fears

Success can be scary, but the human mind is a strong thing, and if you had the grits to make it—you will have the grits to survive it. Remember that you have many resources at your disposal. During times of doubt, remember that calling on those resources will help give:
• A boost to your confidence
• A bigger, more powerful network
• A healthier bank balance
• A growing reputation that opens new doors

Dr. Princess Fumi Hancock, DNP, MA, BSN
Your Vision Midwife, Lifestyle Entrepreneur
Radio/TV Host
https://www.periscope.tv/Princessinsub
https://katch.me/PrincessinSub/
OFFICIAL WEBSITE:
www.theprincessofsuburbia.com

 

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